Irish Times - Child terrified by McCann story

by **PeterMac** 29.01.14 11:01

http://www.irishtimes.com/life-and-style/health-family/parenting/ask-the-expert-easing-child-s-worries-about-kidnapping-1.1669495

Ask the Expert: Easing child’s worries about kidnapping

The human mind is not rational when it comes to assessing risk and excessive anxiety can be triggered.
John Sharry
Madeleine Mccann
Tue, Jan 28, 2014, 01:00

Q We hope you may be able to help: our eight-year-old daughter has recently developed a fear of being kidnapped to the extent that she will now not sleep on her own or even go upstairs without someone going with her (preferably my husband or me).
She has also developed some facial tics which may be related to this new anxiety. She is, and has always been, a sunny child, gets on great with her two sisters (aged 10 and 12), has lots of friends and interests and is doing really well in school. We also live in a safe area and family life is very happy and stable.
We are not sure where this is coming from, except that the Madeleine
McCann case was in the news before Christmas and she is also participating in the very worthwhile Stay Safe programme in school (which warns against stranger danger, etc).
We try to reassure her and not make a big deal of it and, for example, have moved her bed into her sister’s room for a while. We are hoping she will grow out of it but would appreciate some advice on whether we are doing the right thing or what else we should do so that this fear doesn’t develop further or that she becomes an anxious or withdrawn child over time.
A Though childhood fears and phobias usually have a specific trigger, frequently their cause is quite non-specific and could be related to developmental changes and growing up.
At eight years of age your daughter is getting older and becoming more aware of dangers in the world. She is probably more aware of the bad news stories that are everywhere and may be particularly sensitive to the worries these evoke in everyone.
A big child abduction story such as the case of Madeleine McCann can cause everyone to worry and take stock. It feeds into parental worst fears about what can happen to their children and also can cause children to worry about similar bad things happening to them.
Though, thankfully, abductions and kidnappings are extremely rare, the human mind is not rational when it comes to assessing risk and, instead, excessive anxiety can be triggered.
This is especially the case for children with sensitive personalities or who have a predisposition to worry or being anxious. The facial tics you have observed are most likely to represent a nervous behaviour caused by worry and stress she is experiencing.
The good news is that there is a lot you can do to help your daughter. Anxious children are usually very co-operative and can be easily supported to tackle their worries.
In addition, they often have vivid imaginations (employed against themselves in worry to visualise negative outcomes) that you can draw upon to help them imagine new ways of coping. Below are a few specific strategies that might help.
Support and reassure her
The first step is to be very supportive towards her about her fears and to listen carefully to what she says. Encourage her to talk about her worries and to express her feelings.
Be careful about becoming frustrated and dismissing her worries as this can make her feel bad about being anxious which, in turn, can escalate her anxiety. Instead, aim to be empathetic and show you understand how she is feeling, while also being reassuring that she is safe and well.
Comments
PeterMac
One of the real tragedies about the Madeleine case is the irrational fear it has caused people, both parents and children, who now believe that the world is populated by predatory kidnappers. In fact as everyone knows a child is far more likely to be harmed by someone in its own family. And of course in the McCann case there is no evidence of anyone having entered the apartment. This is one of the big stumbling blocks in the investigation.

by Guest 29.01.14 11:29

Good comment Mr M.

I wonder if the McCanns ever regret the harm they've done to young minds which don't have the ability to differentiate between fact and fiction.

by Jemmied_Shatter 29.01.14 12:37

No Fate Worse Than De'Ath wrote:Good comment Mr M.

I wonder if the McCanns ever regret the harm they've done to young minds which don't have the ability to differentiate between fact and fiction.

Doubtful DE'ath. Any parent who is responsible for the permanent disappearance (we are all agreed on this) of their own child to the extent that they capitalise on the donations from gullable well wishers is hardly likely to give a fat rats about anyone elses son or daughter. They would probably say "give her a dose of calpol".
spin

by Guest 29.01.14 12:53

Yes, I wasn't really too optimistic that they would care about the effects of their actions on anyone else!

People often said to me (long before the McCanns became infamous) that I try to see the best in everyone no matter how undeserving they are.

by **PeterMac** 29.01.14 15:00

What harm have they done to their own twins by pretending they were and are and always will be at risk of abduction by spotty, smelly, limping, black / white / swarthy bogeymen ?
Their level of Child abuse is astonishing.

by ultimaThule 29.01.14 15:30

If they have not been monitored on a regular basis by SS or another agency, I have very serious concern for the twins and more particularly now when it's probable that even the McCanns are aware it's merely a matter of time before they're brought to account.

It seems to me that the manner in which certain 'events', shall we say, have been orchestrated has, in part at least, been due to consideration for these two children, but I sincerely hope that whatever fine hand has been directing this play has taken note of the nature of the principal players and stands ready to bring the curtain down before any more 'disappearances' occur.

by **Enid O'Dowd** 29.01.14 21:23

Today with Sean O’Rourke 29.1.2014 Interview with journalist Paul Luckman based in Portugal on RTE radio

The following is an edited version of an interview today on a popular morning current affairs radiio programme

Intro – we’re hearing that British police have flown to Portugal and about possible arrests in the case of Madeline McCann the little girl who disappeared in Portugal while her parents dined nearby.

SOR: what is the latest development?

PL: We don’t really know and we have to look at it as openly as we possibly can. Four policemen including Andy Redwood have gone. The British police can’t make arrests; only the Portuguese can. Realistically we don’t know who they are but they have been so accurately described in all the media in the past few weeks that they must know who they are. I have serious doubts that they are in some cafe waiting to be arrested. They’ll have gone out of town.

SOR: Didn’t records emerge that they were repeatedly calling one another just hours after she disappeared? Is there anything else to go on?

PL: Not as far as we are aware. Nobody’s saying anything. Under Portuguese law the police can’t say anything. It’s unfortunate this information got out. It’s reasonable to assume the police know who they are.

SOR: The British police launched a fresh investigation last July 2 years into the review. Didn’t the Portuguese police effectively shelve the inquiry in 2008?

PL: Yes but the Portuguese police re-opened the case last year and lots of things were followed up. They looked at various sightings including an Irish couple. That was very fully investigated, not sure what came of it. They’re not ignoring it; not for one minute.

SOR: So you’re not expecting any dramatic developments?

PL: No I’m not. Realistically I can’t see these three guys who were hopping in and out of windows and taking passports and loose cash; are they really suspects in a paedophilia and abduction case? There’s lots of ifs around that one.

To listen to the full interview - google Today with Sean O'Rourke and when you get 29 January RTE radio programme it lists all the items covered and you just click on the madeleine item.

by MissesWillYa 29.01.14 21:34

So sad. I grew up in New York in the 80's, under the shadow of the Etan Patz case, which was scary to children then. But as a parent, poor Madeleine affects me even more. When she first disappeared, and again since delving into the case more in the past couple of years, I've actually had nightmares about her. Sometimes I think I should stop reading about the case because I find it upsetting, but I care about her and wish to see justice served, whatever that may turn out to be. I'm glad she isn't big news in the US these days like she must be in the UK and Europe, because I can imagine my kids would be scared. I feel truly awful for the McCann twins.

by **Enid O'Dowd** 29.01.14 21:47

Any forum members who would like to comment on the story to the author John Sharry can email healthsupplement@irishtimes.com This email address is suggested on his website.

by **Enid O'Dowd** 29.01.14 22:08

An Irish online paper journal.ie has the story of the Andy Redwood and his team going to Portugal to maybe make arrests. They are allowing comments which do not have to be moderated. They are lots of comments and some very strong ones. Quite a few McCann cynics have posted. Also some believers.

Take a look.....

by Guest 30.01.14 0:55

Enid, glad to see Sean had a no nonsense journalist on the show,sorry I missed it earlier but will catch up tomorrow.
Will be sending a mail re article, again its strange timing imo for a respected paper to publish that, but unfortunately that fear is there for so many,when in Portugal when my child was one my mother couldn't relax due to the fear of abduction due to mccann case. It is sickening that people genuinely feel fear of this now, Its like the Irish mammies threat to us as kids to be careful or the dirty old man would take us, where in reality that dirty old man has been in families or has close contact with the child undergoing abuse.
Have commented on the journal also..

by Jemmied_Shatter 30.01.14 16:21

PeterMac wrote:What harm have they done to their own twins by pretending they were and are and always will be at risk of abduction by spotty, smelly, limping, black / white / swarthy bogeymen ?
Their level of Child abuse is astonishing.

Why then Peter has nobody from Social Services spilled the beans on their investigation. The "Children at Risk" register and attachments may be held as confidential but is no way infallible. Easy for anyone in the County IT division to get some information and leak it to the press as "A source close to Social Services". Whatever the claims from the McCanns that they were "told" that their actions were "well within the boundaries of responsible parenting". That phrase just makes me want to vomit. I too feel apprehension for the twins, knowing that their parents are imo serial liars. If the other children are not getting at them in the playground already they soon will be. And when they reach teenage years it will get a whole lot worse.

by mysterion 30.01.14 16:34

They will also be able to read this and other forums.

by Jemmied_Shatter 30.01.14 17:59

mysterion wrote:They will also be able to read this and other forums.

If they cannot already. Are their parents going to shield them from the Internet? No sleepovers? No school holiday trips? Having their mail vetted? No mobile phone. All of me wants to reach out to the McCann woman and say " Look please do the decent thing and spare your other 2 children a developing life of misery".
sad1