An Inspector calls.........

by **spudgun** 06.07.12 15:59

"You’ve done a fantastic job and taken on dangerous criminals. We’re extremely grateful for your information."

What 'ACE' Detective Ian HORROCKS told News of the World after their FAKE Kidnap expose relating to David Beckham's wife and children.

How appropriate then, that the now retired 'Kidnap Inspector' (as the SUN referred to him), should be approached by News International to pen a piece about another fake abduction:
"Inside the twisted minds of the Madeleine McCann child snatchers!"

http://www.scotsman.com/news/uk/beckham-kidnap-case-thrown-out-amid-claims-newspaper-bribed-key-witness-1-650547

by **tigger** 06.07.12 17:25

Horrocks rhymes so well with Jorrocks - and Horrocks was bringing good news - albeit not from Ghent as in the Browning poem - but I remember this parody which I'm sure other members can improve :

How I Brought the Good News from Aix to Ghent (or Vice Versa)
RJ Yeatman & W C Sellar

I sprang to the rollocks and Jorrocks and me
And I galloped, you galloped, we galloped all three...
Not a word to each other; we kept changing place,
Neck to neck, back to front, ear to ear, face to face;
And we yelled once or twice, when we heard a clock chime,
'Would you kindly oblige us, Is that the right time?'
As I galloped, you galloped, we galloped, ye galloped they too have galloped; let us trot.

by **PeterMac** 06.07.12 20:02

Can't improve it, but here is the rest

I sprang to the rollocks and Jorrocks and me
And I galloped, you galloped, we galloped all three...
Not a word to each other; we kept changing place,
Neck to neck, back to front, ear to ear, face to face;
And we yelled once or twice, when we heard a clock chime,
'Would you kindly oblige us, Is that the right time?'
As I galloped, you galloped, we galloped, ye galloped they too have galloped; let us trot.

I unsaddled the saddled, unbuckled the bit,
Unshackled the bridle (the thing didn't fit)
And ungalloped, ungalloped, ungalloped, ungalloped a bit.
Then I cast off my bluff-coat, let my bowler hat fall,
Took off both my boots and my trousers and all -
Drank off my stirrup-cup, felt a bit tight,
And unbridled the saddle, it still wasn't right.

Then all I remember is, things reeling round
As I sat with my head 'twixt my knees on the ground -
For imagine my shame when asked what I meant
And I had to confess that I'd been, gone and went
And forgotten the news I was bringing to Ghent,
Though I'd galloped and galloped and galloped and galloped and galloped
And galloped and galloped and galloped. (Had I not would I have been galloped?)

ENVOI
So, I sprang to a taxi and shouted 'To Aix!'
And he blew on his horn and he threw off his brakes,
And all the way back till my money was spent
We rattled and rattled and rattled and rattled and rattled
And rattled and rattled -
And eventually sent a telegram.