Re: An opportunity to have coffee and cakes with Clarence Mitchell at Knoyle Hall, Brighton - Saturday 31st May, 2pm to 4pm

by Cristobell 10.03.14 12:48

I can't read this thread, because I am actually starting to feel sorry for Clarence, Gawd 'elp me. I get no satisfaction from seeing liars revealed as liars, it just makes me feel horribly uncomfortable and embarrassed on their behalf. Then I think of his character and picture him chucking kids out of lifeboats on the Titanic to make room for himself and the latest billionaire he has latched onto.

I am much relieved that there are people out there stronger and more forthright than myself, who will challenge him and go that extra mile to confront his every lie with the truth. In the words of Edmund Burke, 'All that is necessary for the triumph of evil, is that good men do nothing'. This forum is full of good men (and women!), who have dug their heels in and stood up to those who are trying to cover up the death of a little girl. Forget the word 'abduction, forget 'the parents', it isn't about them, its about a helpless child whose tragic death imo was turned into an elaborate hoax that made a lot of people, a lot of money.

Ps. V.fond of Brighton, and its not far from me, now there's a thought.........

by Cristobell 10.03.14 12:57

aquila wrote:Cor blimey guvnor, 5 quid to have a cup of coffee and a slice of cake with a political party who are seeking/relying upon a vote and donations to their funds.

You have to hand it to them for their bare faced cheek. I love the 'ticket' thingy. You have to apply/subscribe to attend. Those buggers aren't just fleecing Joe Public they're asking for your details. You have to pay to go and give your details to listen to them! It's mastery (is that a word?)

Clarrie, dearest, pinkest Clarrie, is this your best campaign strategy?

Will you be 'dressing down' for this event? I quite liked the arranged photo shoot of you in your posh fleece on the 'streets' of Brighton and Hove. You were so 'with it' whilst looking completely out of place. I'm warming to you as you are dedicating yourself to stray dogs and parking problems. I do hope that enough parking spaces are found for those eager to give a fiver to grace your presence and I hope that leftover cake is given to the stray dogs (although it now seems your Party hates sugar and it's the root of all evil).

Clarrie, I'm concerned about your wardrobe here. What will you wear? Will it be a stuffy suit? Will it be a 'get down with the kids sort of thing'? Will it be a compromise and a casual suit jacket over jeans with an open neck shirt? It's good to avoid wearing a tie as it can be misconstrued.

That did make me chuckle.

by mt 10.03.14 14:35

Oh my,

"Do pop along and meet the Brighton Pavilion team."

Last line deleted drama

by plebgate 10.03.14 18:54

hee hee love the comments on this thread.

Coffee and Cakes, no thanks but would love to see a bun fight. titter

Come on down opposing candidates, now is your time to send along a few friends and ask some questions. titter

@Poe, love the John Travolta disco dancer.

by Guest 10.03.14 19:14

Poe wrote:[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]

Knoyle Hall [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]
The Knoyle Hall is situated in Knoyle Road adjacent to the church and is available for occasional and regular hire. The main hall is 13m x 14.6m and has the following facilities and restrictions:

Newly decorated with new toilet facilities
Kitchen with electric cooker, fridge and microwave. There is a basic supply of china and glasses.
A stage complete with curtains
Wooden floor with Badminton court marked out
100 chairs
Various tables
The facility has a community licence with Brighton & Hove council with a limit of 100 people for any function
Limited disabled access
Toilet for the less able
Saturday evening functions finish time is 11 pm
No teenage parties or discos

NEW TOILET FACILITIES!!!!! That's worth a fiver in itself!

Bit disappointed about the no disco. Could just see Clarrie doing a John Travolta

[You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

FRIDGE!!

Stage complete with CURTAINS!!

(Badminton) COURT marked out!!

TABLES!

LICENCE!

Limited DISABLED access!

Toilet for the less ABLE!

Finish time: 1100!

No TEENAGE parties or disco's!

Could beat the Ocean Club any time, it would seem

by Smokeandmirrors 10.03.14 19:31

Cherry wrote:I take it not suitable for any swinging parties then!

I wonder if the Police will be sending in the dogs to check out the venue before he appears!

Without wishing to lower the tone on a thread about Clarence (if that isn't a bit of a non sequitur) I have to disagree with the highlighted point. A stage with curtains for the more confident swinger, ample loos - new and rather shiny - no teenagers to spoil the fun and a badminton court for those of a more athletic disposition, it sounds like an ideal venue for a certain type of swinger, without the hassle of a return Squeazyjet flight to Portugal!

by ultimaThule 10.03.14 19:52

A ~~convoy~~ coach party would seem to be in order. Don't worry about the fiver entry fee - I know a formidable matron of Tory persuasion who'll have no problem blagging half a dozen in and those in the 'advance party', as it were, can open the back door so the rest of us can get up close to the main attraction.

We'll need to take food; eggs, tomatoes, and custard pies?

by Liz Eagles 10.03.14 19:57

Paying 5 quid to meet your local councillors/political party is not good.

For those who don't have five quid to spare (that takes care to alienate the poor sods who use food banks and rely upon state benefits - you don't want that 'sort') who is going to turn up to such a spectacular event?

Will it be the middle class Tory faithfuls? I doubt they would be arsed to turn up to a coffee and cake 'do'. Will it be another opportunity to filter the type of person you want at your well designed 'audience with Clarrie' with a really great pre-planned photo shoot?

So, what will it be? Will the residents of Brighton beat a path to the door to meet their councillors/new candidate and pay five quid for the privilege or will it be a staged affair?

I hope that every councillor pays five quid for the cups of tea/coffee/biscuits/cake that they partake of in their own offices (paid for by ratepayers).

by Rasputin 10.03.14 20:03

ultimaThule wrote:A ~~convoy~~ coach party would seem to be in order. Don't worry about the fiver entry fee - I know a formidable matron of Tory persuasion who'll have no problem blagging half a dozen in and those in the 'advance party', as it were, can open the back door so the rest of us can get up close to the main attraction.

We'll need to take food; eggs, tomatoes, and custard pies?

We could all go dressed as " The phantom McFlann flingers "

by Guest 10.03.14 20:20

Rasputin wrote:
ultimaThule wrote:A ~~convoy~~ coach party would seem to be in order. Don't worry about the fiver entry fee - I know a formidable matron of Tory persuasion who'll have no problem blagging half a dozen in and those in the 'advance party', as it were, can open the back door so the rest of us can get up close to the main attraction.

We'll need to take food; eggs, tomatoes, and custard pies?

We could all go dressed as " The phantom McFlann flingers "

And don't forget to take along Oochi Coochi the Cuty Quiz Mistress to spice things up

by bobbin 10.03.14 20:28

ultimaThule wrote:A ~~convoy~~ coach party would seem to be in order. Don't worry about the fiver entry fee - I know a formidable matron of Tory persuasion who'll have no problem blagging half a dozen in and those in the 'advance party', as it were, can open the back door so the rest of us can get up close to the main attraction.

We'll need to take food; eggs, tomatoes, and custard pies?

Oh uT, that will really scupper his plans.
Now that he's not being paid so much from the Fund he was reckoning on this as his pension pot.
He's already worked out that he's not going to get into Parliament where the trough is constantly spilling over so his calculations went thus:-

One hundred seats at £5 = £500.
Do this one thousand times and I'll have what the McCs got from the paper = £500,000

Minus costs of course:-

£0...Got the hall for free, just by advertising the badminton court and shiny loo seats.
(pity the access has been disabled a bit, but someone else will have to put that right some time).

£0...Cakes donated by Women's Institute in lieu of a change in the law (brought about by myself when I get elected) to lift the 'home-made jam embargo'.
£0...Other cakes retrieved from the Food Bank (Glad I was entrusted with the key to unlock it before the doors were swung open to the starving public)

£0...Tea Bags recycled from the bins outside Smokey Joes (hmm, funny smelling tea... a bit 'sharp'.)
£0...Milk, (Old Mother Riley's cow... not that she could see me in the dark round the back of the milking parlour)
£0...Sugar, (pocketed a whole trouser legs worth from McDonalds...well they can afford it, they make enough profit and probably don't pay their taxes)
£0...Cups and plates are already here.
£0...Labour costs, loads of simpering old biddies offering to make the tea properly...amazing how the old girls rush in if you make a right horlicks in the kitchen.

Final sum.

0 + 0 + 0 etc. = 0.
Take 0 away from £500,000

Total £500,000 = an honest days work for a ludicrously nice guy like me.... I know I deserve it. agree

by kimHager 10.03.14 20:31

I think the main thing is if u have children please do not leave them home unattended even if its only a few meters away.Thank you Wink

by Guest 10.03.14 20:38

bobbin wrote:
ultimaThule wrote:A ~~convoy~~ coach party would seem to be in order. Don't worry about the fiver entry fee - I know a formidable matron of Tory persuasion who'll have no problem blagging half a dozen in and those in the 'advance party', as it were, can open the back door so the rest of us can get up close to the main attraction.

We'll need to take food; eggs, tomatoes, and custard pies?

Oh uT, that will really scupper his plans.
Now that he's not being paid so much from the Fund he was reckoning on this as his pension pot.
He's already worked out that he's not going to get into Parliament where the trough is constantly spilling over so his calculations went thus:-

One hundred seats at £5 = £500.
Do this one thousand times and I'll have what the McCs got from the paper = £500,000

Minus costs of course:-

£0...Got the hall for free, just by advertising the badminton court and shiny loo seats.
(pity the access has been disabled a bit, but someone else will have to put that right some time).

£0...Cakes donated by Women's Institute in lieu of a change in the law (brought about by myself when I get elected) to lift the 'home-made jam embargo'.
£0...Other cakes retrieved from the Food Bank (Glad I was entrusted with the key to unlock it before the doors were swung open to the starving public)

£0...Tea Bags recycled from the bins outside Smokey Joes (hmm, funny smelling tea... a bit 'sharp'.)
£0...Milk, (Old Mother Riley's cow... not that she could see me in the dark round the back of the milking parlour)
£0...Sugar, (pocketed a whole trouser legs worth from McDonalds...well they can afford it, they make enough profit and probably don't pay their taxes)
£0...Cups and plates are already here.
£0...Labour costs, loads of simpering old biddies offering to make the tea properly...amazing how the old girls rush in if you make a right horlicks in the kitchen.

Final sum.

0 + 0 + 0 etc. = 0.
Take 0 away from £500,000

Total £500,000 = an honest days work for a ludicrously nice guy like me.... I know I deserve it.

Dear Bobbin, you miscalculate yourself:

500.000 in your own reckoning would amount to a Thousand Days, wouldn't it?

That's pre-supposing 1000 electioneering days, right?

Will the Tories really last that long?

Will they outlive CM's hearty efforts?

by ultimaThule 10.03.14 21:54

I have a feeling that when news of Clarrie's forthcoming appearance at Knoyle Hall does the rounds of twitter, facebook, et al, he'll ~~be whooshed~~ find that he has a prior appointment to rescue stray dogs from the hellish hills of Praia de Luz and will give his regrets to the party faithful. big grin

by Guest 10.03.14 21:59

As someone mentioned before [sorry, cannot remember who ... ] he might be wanting to be elected MP to have immunity ...

by j.rob 10.03.14 22:13

plebgate wrote:hee hee love the comments on this thread.

Coffee and Cakes, no thanks but would love to see a bun fight.      Come on down opposing candidates, now is your time to send along a few friends and ask some questions.

@Poe, love the John Travolta disco dancer.

Surely this is the perfect opportunity for a little 'photo opportunity' that might capture the imagination of the press big grin

? I'm sure Clarence dear wouldn't mind, after all, press opportunities are his forte. And he will be wanting press coverage, if he is hoping to stand as an MP, so it is only fair devi1

What do you think? A little friendly protest demo with a few colourful banners and posters? I am sure forum members can think up some catchy slogans and pictures to drive the message to the public?

What logos and banners or pics might be appropriate and newsworthy?!

by bobbin 10.03.14 22:18

Portia wrote:
bobbin wrote:
ultimaThule wrote:A ~~convoy~~ coach party would seem to be in order. Don't worry about the fiver entry fee - I know a formidable matron of Tory persuasion who'll have no problem blagging half a dozen in and those in the 'advance party', as it were, can open the back door so the rest of us can get up close to the main attraction.

We'll need to take food; eggs, tomatoes, and custard pies?

Oh uT, that will really scupper his plans.
Now that he's not being paid so much from the Fund he was reckoning on this as his pension pot.
He's already worked out that he's not going to get into Parliament where the trough is constantly spilling over so his calculations went thus:-

One hundred seats at £5 = £500.
Do this one thousand times and I'll have what the McCs got from the paper = £500,000

Minus costs of course:-

£0...Got the hall for free, just by advertising the badminton court and shiny loo seats.
(pity the access has been disabled a bit, but someone else will have to put that right some time).

£0...Cakes donated by Women's Institute in lieu of a change in the law (brought about by myself when I get elected) to lift the 'home-made jam embargo'.
£0...Other cakes retrieved from the Food Bank (Glad I was entrusted with the key to unlock it before the doors were swung open to the starving public)

£0...Tea Bags recycled from the bins outside Smokey Joes (hmm, funny smelling tea... a bit 'sharp'.)
£0...Milk, (Old Mother Riley's cow... not that she could see me in the dark round the back of the milking parlour)
£0...Sugar, (pocketed a whole trouser legs worth from McDonalds...well they can afford it, they make enough profit and probably don't pay their taxes)
£0...Cups and plates are already here.
£0...Labour costs, loads of simpering old biddies offering to make the tea properly...amazing how the old girls rush in if you make a right horlicks in the kitchen.

Final sum.

0 + 0 + 0 etc. = 0.
Take 0 away from £500,000

Total £500,000 = an honest days work for a ludicrously nice guy like me.... I know I deserve it.

Dear Bobbin, you miscalculate yourself:

500.000 in your own reckoning would amount to a Thousand Days, wouldn't it?

That's pre-supposing 1000 electioneering days, right?

Will the Tories really last that long?

Will they outlive CM's hearty efforts?

Sorry Portia, i was momentarily occupying the space inside Clarence (the Pink) Mitchell's head (urgh, a nasty place to be) and whilst lying (to myself) through every tooth in my mouth, I was winding the PR machine up to its fastest spin possible and convinced myself that what I had said would become true.

For the past 7 years this has worked every time. The money just throws itself at me, and of course at Kate and Gerry.

We just 'wish' for it, and it comes true. Even like with the Review, we asked for one, and what happened, well, 'poof' and the very next minute it's there, but that's not all, just when you think things couldn't get any better, we got a 're-investigation' too.

Some people are just born lucky, and we are just a small smattering of those chosen few. sarcastic

by Guest 10.03.14 22:19

j.rob I'd love to see a massive banner of Eddie and Keela lol4

by Rasputin 10.03.14 22:25

A synchronised balloon release with bespoke tennis ball logo's ..." Ball's up Mitchell " ...." See you in Court "

by j.rob 10.03.14 22:33

Cherry wrote:j.rob I'd love to see a massive banner of Eddie and Keela

Perhaps someone has some sniffer dogs they could take along to Clarence Dear's tea party? They wouldn't even have to be very well trained to get more than a whiff of 'eau de ordure'.

by j.rob 10.03.14 22:39

Rasputin wrote:A synchronised balloon release with bespoke tennis ball logo's ..." Ball's up Mitchell " ...." See you in Court "

Game, set and match!

by Guest 11.03.14 9:29

plebgate wrote:hee hee love the comments on this thread.

Coffee and Cakes, no thanks but would love to see a bun fight.      Come on down opposing candidates, now is your time to send along a few friends and ask some questions.

@Poe, love the John Travolta disco dancer.

Thank you kindly. Knowing that we can insert animated gifs as well as static pictures has opened up a whole new world of possibilities in my posts big grin

The Great Pink Hope appears to have come down in the world somewhat. I would have expected a champagne reception in the Pavilion itself not a cup of Nescafe and a French Fancy in a church hall. Oh dear ...what a pity ...never mind.

by Guest 11.03.14 9:39

The aspiring HonMember must by now be considering canceling his date with Brighton history claiming to be threatened by Forumnutters

by Guest 11.03.14 11:53

For £5 a head you would think he could stretch to a glass or two of New Zealand Wine with a bit of sea bass! yes

by ultimaThule 11.03.14 12:35

It seems we're not the only ones who've got a few questions to ask the Tory candidate for Brighton Pavillion and it's probable that Clarence's future appearances will be of the unscheduled variety, which must be somewhat disconcerting for the constituency's existing and would-be Tory councillors who'll never know when he may pop up out of the trap door usually reserved for pantomime demons to continue his sterling work which has, in a remarkably short space of time, gone a considerable way to wrecking their chances of appealing to the electorate.

I would imagine that those on the selection committee who fell for the smooth charm of the McCanns' snake oil salesman are bitterly regretting their decision and praying that divine intervention will abruptly curtail his candidacy before they suffer the humiliation of forking out for his lost deposit.

By way of clarriefication (misspelling intended) for Chatelaine, who has read elsewhere that "he might be wanting to be elected MP to have immunity", if elected the pink one will have immunity for porkies he tells when in the the House of Commons, but this will not render him immune from being held to account for the lies he's told, and will no doubt continue to tell, outside of its confines.

by Guest 11.03.14 14:09

ultimaThule wrote: [...]
By way of clarriefication (misspelling intended) for Chatelaine, who has read elsewhere that "he might be wanting to be elected MP to have immunity", if elected the pink one will have immunity for porkies he tells when in the the House of Commons, but this will not render him immune from being held to account for the lies he's told, and will no doubt continue to tell, outside of its confines.

***
Ah!

Thank you.

by ultimaThule 11.03.14 14:50

You're very welcome, Chatelaine, and I suspect that, in thespian parlance and metaphorically speaking, Clarrie will choose to break a leg before he's scheduled to break one at Knoyle Hall on 31st May. big grin

A fiver a head for coffee, cake, and opportunity to see the Tories' prospective candidate for Brighton Pavillion? I doubt there'd be many takers if the offer was £25 cash on the day and all you can eat from an extensive buffet of gourmet food to anyone who is prepared to listen to Clarrie's spiel without asking questions about his, now part-time, employers. sarcastic

by jeanmonroe 11.03.14 14:58

ultimaThule wrote:You're very welcome, Chatelaine, and I suspect that, in thespian parlance and metaphorically speaking, Clarrie will choose to break a leg before he's scheduled to break one at Knoyle Hall on 31st May.

A fiver a head for coffee, cake, and opportunity to see the Tories' prospective candidate for Brighton Pavillion? I doubt there'd be many takers if the offer was £25 cash on the day and all you can eat from an extensive buffet of gourmet food to anyone who is prepared to listen to Clarrie's spiel without asking questions about his, now part-time, employers.

Who, as CM never fails to mention, PAY him a 'retainer' of £28.000.00p per annum, paid from the 'Madeleine Fund. Leaving No Stone Unturned. Ltd Company'....................... 'donations'

by Guest 11.03.14 14:58

ultimaThule wrote: [...]
A fiver a head for coffee, cake, and opportunity to see the Tories' prospective candidate for Brighton Pavillion? [...]

***
I guess, that he misinterpreted the saying "if you give it for free, they won't appreciate it", which mainly refers to kittens and puppies [when people pay for them, they will care for them, as otherwise they lose an investment ...], whereas potential, yet as yet uninterested, voters might be drawn in for a freebee and perhaps even listen to a potential MP "candidate", careful as we have to be to use that word, as I e.g. might be calling that sooner a predictable potential loser laughat

by ultimaThule 11.03.14 15:37

jeanmonroe wrote:
ultimaThule wrote:You're very welcome, Chatelaine, and I suspect that, in thespian parlance and metaphorically speaking, Clarrie will choose to break a leg before he's scheduled to break one at Knoyle Hall on 31st May.

A fiver a head for coffee, cake, and opportunity to see the Tories' prospective candidate for Brighton Pavillion? I doubt there'd be many takers if the offer was £25 cash on the day and all you can eat from an extensive buffet of gourmet food to anyone who is prepared to listen to Clarrie's spiel without asking questions about his, now part-time, employers.

Who, as CM never fails to mention, PAY him a 'retainer' of £28.000.00p per annum, paid from the 'Madeleine Fund. Leaving No Stone Unturned. Ltd Company'....................... 'donations'

Ah yes, the all important 'retainer' which is no doubt a basic fee merely for retaining, or the guarantee of hearing, the pink one's dulcet tones on speed dial, with additional fees being paid for any work done by this dedicated manufacturer of manure.

Judging by the amount of statements he's made on his employers' behalf of late, I suspect Clarrie has pocketed more than his previous annual salary in the past 2 months and, with 10 months to go before the year is out, is on course to trouser a lot more before the 31 Dec publication of the lifestyle fund's annual accounts.
That's a lot of 'merchandising' for the fund's directors to ~~creatively~~ account for. laughat

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