Mail article - Monday 13 June 2011

Agony of the mothers left behind: Kate McCann's emotional plea to Parliament as she joins campaign for families of the missing
By DAILY MAIL REPORTER
Last updated at 5:21 PM on 13th June 2011
Comments (47)
Nothing protects the families of missing people left behind, Kate McCann has said.
Mrs McCann, whose daughter Madeleine went missing from her family's holiday flat in the Algarve shortly before her fourth birthday, joined other mothers of missing children as she talked about the lack of emotional support available to families.
Calling for the Government to show its support, Mrs McCann said there was 'currently no legislation to protect missing people and their families left behind'.

Sowing the strain: 'If your child goes missing, you may get nothing,' Kate McCann said today
Speaking outside the Commons while holding up a picture of Madeleine, Mrs McCann said: 'If your house is burgled, you are automatically offered victim support with emotional, practical and legal assistance.
'If your child goes missing, you may get nothing. This parliamentary inquiry has the potential to change that.'

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She went on: 'When someone you love goes missing, you are left with unimaginable, unending heartbreak, confusion, guilt and worry.
'In addition to the reassurance that everything possible is being done to find their missing loved one, families need support. And they should be spared the additional pain of financial and legal bureaucracy.'

Kate McCann joined Nicki Durbin, right, and Sarah Godwin to highlight the case of their lost children Madeleine, Luke and Quentin
Mrs McCann, 43, issued her appeal to the Government as Scotland Yard continues its review of the investigation into her daughter's disappearance in Praia da Luz on May 3, 2007.
Last month, Mrs McCann, from Rothley, Leicestershire, published a highly-personal book about Madeleine's disappearance in a bid to revive efforts to find her daughter.
The official Portuguese inquiry into the disappearance was formally shelved in July 2008, although private detectives employed by the McCanns have continued the search.

Madeleine McCann went missing on May 3, 2007
Mrs McCann was joined by Sarah Godwin - whose son, Quentin, was 18 when he went missing in New Zealand while on his way to an after-school job on May 20, 1992 - and Nicki Durbin, whose son, Luke, 19, went missing four years ago.
The three mothers, each holding images of their missing loved ones, faced the press ahead of the first session of the inquiry.
Martin Houghton-Brown, chief executive of Missing People, said: 'From dealing with finances, insurance policies, bank accounts and mortgages through to having a missing person declared presumed dead, families left behind often struggle to deal with institutions that have no system for their clients going missing.
'This inquiry is a landmark opportunity for parliamentarians to ensure that families are able to access the full range of support that they so desperately need.'
Mrs McCann told the MPs she did not think it should be left to 'grieving parents' to search for their child.
'I don't think this should be the role of grieving parents,' she said.
Mrs McCann added that this was compounded by a 'lack of communication and information'.
Calling for a single point of contact between the families of missing people and the police, Mrs McCann said: 'To be left in the dark when your child is missing and at risk is unbearable.'
Human beings are not equipped to deal with such ordeals and more support is crucial if 'families are to survive'.


Quentin Godwin, left, was 18 when he went missing in May 1992 while Luke Durbin disappeared on May 12, 2006 aged 19

The three mothers, each holding images of their missing loved ones, faced the press ahead of the first session of the inquiry
She went on: 'Many people have been worn down by this process because it's absolutely relentless and exhausting.'
But she added that now Scotland Yard was involved, 'I feel the chances of her being found are improving'.
Mrs McCann said that, despite being medically trained, she simply 'could not function' when Madeleine went missing.
'It was the first time in my life when I felt out of control,' she told the MPs.
Counselling had helped 'to talk, to vocalise our fears and to challenge our fears', she said.
Ms Durbin also spoke of her 'terror' at hearing about the discovery of a decapitated body on the local news, fearing it was her son, but not having anyone to call to find out more.
A point of contact with the police was crucial, she said.
Her son went missing after a night out in Ipswich in 1996, she told MPs.


Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2003006/Kate-McCanns-plea-Parliament-joins-campaign-families-missing.html#ixzz1PB2vhIWR

There are some very upsetting comments on this thread. It would be good for everyone to focus on all the children who have just gone.........Plain Missing. The parents of these poor children will never stop looking for them. My heart goes out to the McCanns and all the other families who continue to search for their missing children.
- Darnthesafetynet, London W11 1NR, 13/6/2011 18:52

Why the headline about Mothers? Do people think it is any easier for Fathers who lose their children in tragic circumstances? I have seen Fathers who have lost their children in tragic circumsatances and you can see their distress as much as any Mother. We are supposed to live in an equal society so let's remeber Dads.
- david, canterbury, england, 13/6/2011 18:52

The McCanns have got to live with the decision they made that night for the rest of their lives or until madeleine is found safe and well,and then they will be forever wondering what she has been through . As a mother i cannot imagine the pain they are and have been through,as kate said it's been like a glimpse of hell, i feel so very sorry for them and i hope and pray that madeleine is found soon.
- lynn, birmingham, 13/6/2011 18:48

I think that parents should help search for their young children when they go missing. I remember our family being in the city gawking at the sights. We somehow got separated from our youngest child. We panicked a bit, but retraced our steps and fortunately a kind cafe owner had allowed son to wait inside his cafe, sitting near the window so we could see each other. and sit where he could see us. I am so grateful to this man and so glad we searched for our son.
- Gram , USA, 13/6/2011 18:47

I can't believe @JS Dorsets comments and all the green arrows. ' go home and look after your own kids lady...' what a spiteful and unneccesary comment. Is McCann hurting anyone by raising awareness of missing children? Yes she should not have left Maddie but this whole you 'deserve it attitude' is horrendous. I am sure no one can hurt Mrs McCann more than she is hurting right now.
- My Opinion, Hampshire, 13/6/2011 18:37

Well said MARGARET OF SCOTLAND, she has had more support than anybody else who has a missing child.
- sunseeker, burnley, 13/6/2011 18:28

Give it a rest all you judgemental self righteous types. - Blooter, Canada, 13/6/2011 16:05 You're damned right I'm self-righteous because, while I'm not perfect, I won't even leave my children alone in my car while I pay for petrol, let alone to go out on the pop with others who leave their children unattended!!!!
- Sher x, Here...., 13/6/2011 18:23

Children of Madelines age are the responsibility of THE PARENTS AT ALL TIMES.
- d dawson, birmingham, 13/6/2011 18:23

Not Kate again! I have no sympathy at all with this woman, she not only left one Madeleine on her own but two other children too, anything could have happened to them too. She only as herself to blame, I still cannot understand how two seemingly intelligent people could have done that, your children are the most precious possessions you have.
- L Clark, UK, 13/6/2011 18:21

M Morton, Melbourne, Australia, 13/6/2011 16:13.....Guess you are in the tiny minority matey.
- Tom, Tottenham, 13/6/2011 18:19

Don't preach to others about protecting people, madam. Have a look in the mirror first.
- Valerie, Sunderland, UK, 13/6/2011 18:16

Im sorry but i cant stand this woman, just seeing her face makes me so angry and i hope she and her selfish husband carry the guilt for the rest of their lives. That poor poor little girl. They should be hanging their heads in shame
- jazzlyer, bridlington east yorks, 13/6/2011 18:10

So, once again the anti McCann brigade emerge to take free kicks at a fragile and distressed mother while glorying in their own all seeing, all knowing infallibility.
- David, Harrogate UK, 13/6/2011 18:09

How unusual for Ms McCann to share the limelight with others! I think the campaign would be much better received if she had nothing to do with it. I'm assuming the other mothers didn't leave their lost children alone in a holiday apartment while they went out for a meal with friends.
- Angel, Leeds, 13/6/2011 17:54

she left her daughter behind, and now she is talking about her 'feelings' ?
- savo, london, uk, 13/6/2011 17:51

Kate, you say that Madeleine went missing, but Madeleine might well say that YOU went missing for several hours, not only on the night in question, but other nights too.
- Flipping Norah, London, 13/6/2011 17:48

The McCanns really do take the biscuit when it comes to being sorry for themselves. They should stop and think about how they actually let this disaster happen by leaving their very young children alone in their holiday apartment so that they could enjoy an adult meal with their friends. Everyone's sympathy should be with Madeleine because whatever has happened to her is beyond imagination. Even is someone is looking after her she will have been distraught when it happened, but it is more likely that she has been taken by people who did not have her wellbeing at heart. This child is getting less and less about what happened and more about what the McCanns feel they have wrongly suffered at what happened in Portugal.
- Diana , Staffordshire, 13/6/2011 17:41

I can't believe the abuse Kate still suffers from the likes of you people! Can't you see in her face the agony and guilt she bears every single day??? I'm constantly amazed at the callousness of humankind - you should all be completely ashamed of yourselves. Kate, you have my unreserved compassion. Best of luck.
- CLC, Dublin, Ireland, 13/6/2011 17:38

I'm sorry but Mrs McCann cannot stand there and complain about lack of financial/legal/emotional support when she herself has gained millions of pounds from public donations (some of which is being used to support their immediate family), the support of the government (including the latest 3 million pounds for a case review), a government PR official at their beck and call, top lawyers in Portugal and Britain and that is just the tip of the iceberg. It's a pity that other families of missing children have not had the same support that Mr & Mrs McCann have garnered.
- Margaret , Glasgow, Scotland, 13/6/2011 17:33

Dont leave your kids unatended then when at holiday and then you wouldnt feel so alone. Wonder how along poor madeline feels right now if alive, that little girl has my sympathy.
- ggail, uk, 13/6/2011 17:31

Oh please, not the McCanns again - I'm sure we all have our own opinions as to what happened to Madeleine, but unless they go back to the Portuguese police we'll never know the truth. The circumstances of the missing boys are totally different - they were not young children left alone by their selfish parents..
- Jill, Valencia, Spain, 13/6/2011 17:31

I don't understand why when something goes wrong ~ people EXPECT the government to help them. People should face up to the consequences of their actions. The McCanns in particular have spent millions of the public's money to find Madeleine ~ and a good amount of it has been wasted by people who abused their trust and still no further forward. They still live in a very nice house in Leicestershire so have not had to sell their home to fund the PI's etc etc It is about time that they faced the facts and stopped bleating about needing more support, it is so selfish and will never satisfy the guilt they will have to live with for the rest of their lives.
- CG, Cardiff, Wales, 13/6/2011 17:30

When will the DM and other papers, news reports etc stop giving this irresponsible woman media time. Red arrows I don't care, there seems to be more and more people who have enough of her.
- colin, london, 13/6/2011 17:28

Well all I can say is the last person who should have been doing this speech is Kate McCann. She has had 4 millions pounds in donations, £750,000 spent by Leicestershire Police, thousands spent by Portugal and now another 3,5 million pounds from the Government. She has had both finantial and moral support from everyone. No other missing child or person has ever had this support. Also at the end of the day the only reason her child went missing is because she put her own and husbands enjoyment before that of her chidlren.
- N William, UK, 13/6/2011 17:28

Why the continuing coverage of the McCann saga? While in no way minimizing the tragedy of the missing youngster, the real blame remains with the parents, who chose to leave their children behind without a responsible babysitter, when they went out to enjoy themselves. They are trying to shift the blame to law enforcement, legal process and governments. These bureaucracies may be lacking in efficiency but the blame is secondary. There is no comparison with Madeleine's disappearance to that of almost-adult teenagers.
- emgee, Auburn, California, 13/6/2011 17:28

Remind me, did she left her kids alone, in hotel, with doors unlocked in strange country every night and gone booze? Shut up woman, go home and learn how to look after kids you have left before advising about parenting!!
- Kate, Cambridge, 13/6/2011 17:27

Some people on hear are so cruel...ok so mistakes made, those who point the finger on here never made mistakes and needed support in the past, i say there for the grace of god go I...shame on u ....
- Babs, Northants, 13/6/2011 17:24

'To be left in the dark when your child is missing and at risk is unbearable.' Wasn't Madeleine left in the dark and at risk back in the apartment whilst the McCann's were living it up at the restaurant ?
- Ima Stira, Windemup, 13/6/2011 17:18

Usual nasty comments here I see - presumably from perfect people who have never made mistakes in their lives. I sincerely hope Madeleine is found soon.
- Jessica, The beautiful south, 13/6/2011 17:17

I suppose the fathers of missing children aren't too worried about it, if all we're hearing about is the pain of mothers. Frankly as a man I find it highly offensive to be told that a mother (especially one who repeatedly left her small children home alone) cares more about her brood than I do about mine. Every mother's nightmare indeed.
- Andrew Rutley, Burnley, Lancashire, 13/6/2011 17:17

wow, is it just me that thinks these comments are a bit harsh. I'm sure they're not the only parents who have had a meal when theyr kids are sleeping.. I know its wrong but the agony and guilt she's be going through must be unbearable.
- richard, , Italy, 13/6/2011 17:17

I see that JS and Ellis are part of the anti-McCann trolls who patrol all the news items concerning that tragic case. The rest of us normal human beings are sick of hearing their sneering, gloating comments that poison every single McCann story and commentary. Good luck to Kate McCann and to all mothers of missing children. I hope that all your children come back safe and well.
- M Morton, Melbourne, Australia, 13/6/2011 17:13

So why have we hardly heard about the other 2 poor lads missing for much longer? I doubt their families got the same sort of press attention at the time either.
- Mark, Watford, 13/6/2011 17:07

'To be left in the dark when your child is missing and at risk is unbearable.' To be left in the dark (literally) night after night when your parents are out of sight and hearing must be pretty unbearable for the child also
- Anne, London, 13/6/2011 17:06

I will never understand how these mothers find the strength to keep going every day, and keep battling. If my daughter went missing...well, the thought of it alone is unbearable. How can there be such evil, black hearted people who take children from loving families?? They are more like Satan's demons than people.
- Claire, Derry, 13/6/2011 17:05

Ellis says "Agony of the mothers left behind? Wasn't it her children that Kate McCann left behind that put her in this position in the first place?" >>>>>>>>>>>>> Give it a rest all you judgemental self righteous types.
- Blooter, Canada, 13/6/2011 17:05

Mrs McCann said: 'To be left in the dark when your child is missing and at risk is unbearable.' ...................... Oh, the irony. Utterly unbelievable. Poor, poor Madeleine.
- Iseult, Cambridge, 13/6/2011 17:04

She's certainly right about the need to help some parents cope with feelings of guilt. However in her case guilt is the main issue and only a successful prosecution of all the parents involved in leaving babies alone in a room in Portugal will really have dealt with that guilt.
- Gary, Widnes, 13/6/2011 17:03

If your house gets burgled, and you've taken every possible step to keep burglars out, it's no surprise that there is some support from a society that empathises with you having your home invaded. If, on the other hand, you decide to leave your children alone, at night, in a foreign country where you are oblivious to the risks whilst you wine and dine with your friends, it is no surprise that sympathy for you quickly evaporates......God bless you, Maddie - you deserved better.
- Nan Taylor, London, UK, 13/6/2011 17:03

Did the other parents also leave their kids alone in a room in a foreign country so they could go out for a few drinks with friends?
- tipperj, uk, 13/6/2011 17:02

This woman is the wrong person for a campaign such as this.
- jo, brighton, 13/6/2011 17:02

Frankly I think she has some nerve. Like it or not if she hadnt left the children on their own this would not have happened. For once I totally disagree with her publicity.
- Eddie John, In the real world, 13/6/2011 16:52

Kate McCann would not have been left behind if she had been a responsible mother and not left her children on their own. Why should we help now.
- Liz M, London, 13/6/2011 16:52

The Mc Caans have received millions of pounds from the public to enable them to employ private detectives, who were said at the time to be the best in their field, they can hardly say they have been left in the dark, like many other families have. It must be difficult for them to acknowledge if they had not left their three small children alone, their daughter would have been safe.. Wonder what would have been said if a working class family had done the same? My sympathy is for Madeleine.
- Bradfordian, bradford, UK, 13/6/2011 16:46

..why do these people expect the goverment to come to their assistance...why does everybody want government help when they cant control their own lives?. and then slag them off about everything else..
- couldntcareless, UK, 13/6/2011 16:41

How about the support your kid needed when you left her alone to have a nice meal alone with friends...
- LR, Surrey, 13/6/2011 16:40

...so did the government get concerned when you went on holiday, did they interfere when you took their salary...NO...so when things go wrong why do you expect them to help more than they have done already.....
- dezi, UK, 13/6/2011 16:38

Isn't giving emotional support and guidance part of the role of the church? Don't ones beliefs matter now, or is everything left to impersonal bureaucrats who function at taxpayer expense.
- Charlotte, Brooklyn,NY, 13/6/2011 16:18

Go home and look after you own kids, lady, before you start telling others how it should be. Am I the only one to notice that the other missing children in the photos were young adults - in theory able to look after themselves, not at all like a poor toddler left alone unable to look after themselves?
- JS, Dorset, 13/6/2011 15:42

Agony of the mothers left behind? Wasn't it her children that Kate McCann left behind that put her in this position in the first place?
- Ellis, Bristol, 13/6/2011 14:45


Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2003006/Kate-McCanns-plea-Parliament-joins-campaign-families-missing.html#ixzz1PB3FLxco