MADDIE MUM: MY TORTURE

Ordeal ... Madeleine McCann's mother has revealed the terrible visions she suffers
Kate and Gerry McCann.
Exclusive licensee: The Sun




MADDIE MUM:
MY TORTURE



MADELEINE McCann’s mother reveals pervert fears for the first time in new book in The Sun

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Thank you Rosa.

What a beautiful picture of Madeleine at the top of that article. She looks so happy with the sunglasses perched on the top of her head. It has brought a lump to my throat this morning

http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/3567599/MADDIE-MUM-MY-TORTURE-Madeleine-McCanns-mum-Kate-reveals-paedophile-fears-in-new-book-in-The-Sun.html

MADELEINE McCann's mother has told for the first time of terrible visions that her kidnapped daughter is being abused by a pervert.
But not coming to any harm, ?
In a heart-rending book serialised from today in The Sun, Kate, 43, writes how she is haunted by "flashes" of Madeleine "screaming" for her and husband Gerry.
The couple also tell The Sun exclusively about being at the centre of one of the most harrowing stories of modern times.
Kate says four years after her three-year-old was snatched on a family holiday in Portugal: "The idea that my Madeleine was taken by a paedophile is my worst fear.
"I became consumed with it. It was torture for me. It was horrible, so vivid.

"It's worse when I go to bed and think about that first awful night again, when Madeleine went missing.
"That sense of dark and fear, of being desperate to sleep but not being able to. I just end up plummeting down again."
So when you said you were able to sleep soundly after just 5 days that was not true.

The emotion-charged book by ex-GP Kate is titled simply Madeleine.
She and consultant cardiologist Gerry, 42, admit they are plagued by guilt over the night Madeleine vanished from their holiday apartment in Praia da Luz while they enjoyed a meal with friends at a tapas bar.
Kate says: "If your child is killed in a traffic accident, or died of cancer, parents are at peace. But Madeleine is still missing and she needs us to do something."
You are at PEACE if your child dies of cancer ? Really ? Or is killed in a traffic accident ? Have they never met anyone who has lost a child under those circumstances ?
This is bordering on the pathological.
The 384-page book, which features previously unseen pictures of Madeleine, is to be published on her daughter's eighth birthday on Thursday.

Gerry put a comforting arm around Kate as he said of his brave wife: "There were times when I thought she would never get back to being the woman I love.
"I could understand why something like this destroys relationships. It's been so hard to keep your own head above water at times."

Fighting back tears he tells of the guilt that "consumed" the couple after their lives changed forever that fateful night. Their tiny twins were also asleep in the apartment.
For 4 years they have been telling the world that they were not guilty, that everything they did was well within normal child care protocols.
Gerry says: "Who's thinking about child abductions in a little sleepy out-of-season tourist resort? It never entered our minds. We felt very safe - it was a family resort."
While making no excuses, he tells how their thoughts were: "What could happen? The kids are in bed asleep."
Who is thinking about abduction ? Indeed. Why would anyone jump to that conclusion and not simply think the child had wandered off. Why did you think immediately about abduction, and why did you use that very precise legal word instead of ‘Stolen’ or ‘kidnapped’ ?
Gerry says: "If we could turn back the clock we would. Of course we wouldn't do something like leave the twins alone like that now."
But he stresses: "Blaming us for not being there takes it away from the abductor. Someone went into an apartment and stole a child.
"Of course we feel guilt. But it doesn't bring the child back."
Turn it back on to someone else. It is all their fault, nothing to do with me.

Kate tells of the first night she peeped into her daughter's pink bedroom after the family got home to Rothley, Leics - breaking down as she recalls imagining Madeleine saying: "Lie with me, Mummy. Lie with me."
Freudian use of that word ?

She confesses it shocks her to think her daughter would now be almost eight. The mum says: "How has that time flown by?
"I see girls of eight and I try to imagine Madeleine like that. And I just can't."
So what was the point of the age progression photos

Their twins Amelie and Sean, now six, are a source of constant comfort. Sean has promised his mum: "When you're old, me and Amelie will look for Madeleine."
Same sloppy English grammar that their parents used for the first year or so.
Kate says: "They know that Madeleine was stolen. They call the person who took her 'the naughty man'.
I thought Edgar had claimed most recently that it was a woman.
"They know it happened in Portugal. Amelie said, 'We went to Portugal and then we woke up and Madeleine was gone'."
No. You didn’t wake up. That was the Curious Incident.
Kate says of the abductor: "I think it was someone who knew our movements. I don't think someone was passing by chance and took a child."
Since Portuguese police called off their investigation in 2008, the search for Madeleine has been carried on by private investigators.
Really. Metodo3, Halligen, et al ?
The bill for that is met out of a campaign fund set up by Kate and Gerry. Donations flooded in, building a total of nearly £2 million.
Can you tell us how you have spent it.
Kate says her book is "to give an account of the truth" following vile slurs that the couple themselves were involved. She surrounded herself with photos of Madeleine as she wrote it - based on diaries she has kept.
YOU can read a fuller version of Kate's shattering story in the printed edition of The Sun today and all next week. In the following extract she describes every mother's worst nightmare. It is the night that is seared into her memory - when she left Gerry and their friends at the restaurant and returned to the apartment:

All was silent. Then I noticed that the door to the children's bedroom was open quite wide, not how we had left it.
Fascinating that she repeats this phrase, about the door “as WE left it”. So Gerry did NOT and could not have done the check. She is clearly implying that Gerry lied.
I walked over and gently began to pull it to. Suddenly it slammed shut, as if caught by a draught.
A little surprised, I turned to see if I'd left the patio doors open and let in the breeze. Retracing my steps, I confirmed that I hadn't.
Retracing my steps ? The room is only a few metres across, and from where you were standing you could clearly see the patio door. Is this a trifle poetic
Returning to the children's room, I opened the door a little, and as I did so glanced at Madeleine's bed.
I couldn't quite make her out in the dark. I remember looking at it and looking at it for what was probably only a few seconds, though it felt like much longer.
It seems so daft now, but I didn't switch on the light straight away. Force of habit, I suppose: taking care to avoid waking the children at all costs.
When I realised Madeleine wasn't actually there, I went through to our bedroom to see if she'd got into our bed. That would explain the open door.
On the discovery of another empty bed, the first wave of panic hit me. As I ran back into the children's room the closed curtains flew up in a gust of wind.

My heart lurched as I saw now that, behind them, the window was wide open and the shutters on the outside raised all the way up. Nausea, terror, disbelief, fear. Icy fear. Dear God, no! Please, no!
So we are back to the window open and the shutters being fully raised.
On Madeleine's bed, the top right-hand corners of the covers were still turned over forming a neat triangle. Cuddle cat and her pink princess blanket were lying where they'd been when we kissed her goodnight
A neat triangle, as we saw in the photos. Providing fairly clear evidence that no child had been in that bed that night., and no parent had sat on the bed to read a story.
I dashed over to the second bed, on the other side of the travel cots, where the twins slept on, oblivious, and looked out through the window. I've no idea what I expected to see there.
dashed over ...? The room is tiny, and the second bed is jammed behind the cots. You can hardly move, let alone dash. One small pace is all that would be possible.
Refusing to acknowledge what I already knew,
“already knew? ‘ How did you already know anything ? This is a phrase we use in English to indicate knowledge from some significant time before, not a couple of seconds.
and perhaps automatically going into a well-practised medical emergency mode, I quickly scoured the apartment to exclude all other possibilities, mentally ticking boxes I knew, deep down, were already ticked.
Again, how did you know. Kate, this is the crucial point of this whole saga, and again you are not telling us, the police or anyone how you KNEW
Scoured, as with bleach ? Is this a Freudian slip ?
I checked the wardrobe in the children's room. I ran into the kitchen, throwing open all the cupboard doors, into our bedroom, searching the wardrobes, in and out of the bathroom, all in about 15 seconds, before hurtling out through the patio doors and down towards Gerry and our friends.
Leaving the twins in their beds and all the doors and the window and the shutters wide open.
As soon as our table was in sight I started screaming. "Madeleine's gone! Someone's taken her!"
If the apartment was in sight from the Tapas bar, it follows that the table was in sight from the apartment. So when you told the world you could see the apartment, you were in fact lying.