Stephen D Birch writes a personal letter to CMOMM on the Amaral libel trial - 23 January 2015

by **Tony Bennett** 23.01.15 10:26

For anyone reading this post who is unaware of Stephen D Birch and his background, he is an attention-seeking nutcase from South Africa who, like other self-publicising crackpots, has attached himself to the Madeleine McCann case. His main claim to ~~fame~~ notoriety was to take a video of himself in the grounds of Casa Liliana, the home of Robert Murat's mother, Jenny Murat, in Praia da Luz. He took with him a machine he said he had designed which he claimed showed a hollow underneath the Murats' driveway in which Madeleine's body was buried. He claimed that a Portuguese TV company was willing to film him digging up the driveway. He asked people to sponsor him. His machine can be compared with that other machine posssessed by another South African, Danie Krugel, who claimed that placing a hair of Madeleine's in his machine would help him to determine where her body was. Krugel gets more coverage than the alleged 'Smithman' sighting in Dr Kate McCann's book, 'madeleine'. Smithman is mentioned on seven pages; Krugel on nine.

Stephen Birch's claims were deemed credible by a variety of people who should know better, including David Icke, Sonia Poulton and Chris Spivey. All of these people, and others, gave credence to Birch's preposterous claims.

Here is the man himself in an e-mail sent to me this morning

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

23 January 2015

Attention Tony Bennett & Jillhavern forum

Dear Sir

I trust that you are well. I’ve decided to write to you and the members of the forum given the recent legal victory by the McCann’s over Mr Amaral.

You will remember that I predicted that the McCann’s would be victorious with their libel matter against Mr Amaral for his book “The Truth of the Lie”. Given my vast experience with the judicial system, the mere fact that Mr Amaral accused the McCann’s of being involved with the disposal of their child Madeleine, without first having recovered the child’s remains, was in my opinion a cardinal error. Once the McCann’s brought the deformation case against Mr Amaral, the onus immediately fell on Mr Amaral to prove beyond any reasonable doubt, that the McCann’s disposed of their daughter remains. A burden impossible, given that the location of the body would need to be established prior to proving such allegations.

I can only conclude that Mr Amaral having limited legal experience was swept up in the media limelight, and relied heavily on his legal counsel who ill advised him. The recent resignation of his attorney Santos da Oliviera, with whom I have been fortunate to communicate, leads me to believe, that financial restraints further hampered his ability to prepare a strong defence.

Given the political implications attached to the case pertaining to the diplomatic relations and bi-lateral trade between the UK and Portugal, there can be no doubt that when it came to a politically appointed Judge ruling on any point of law, where interpretation of the law could be decided either way, a decision would sway in favour of the McCann’s.

So although I am not in favour of the overall outcome of the case, and in particular the decision in favour of the McCann’s, I must compliment them on a strategy well played. Mr Amaral on the other hand knew that not only was he litigating against the McCann’s but also against his own country.

I gave Mr Amaral several life lines, in that via his attorneys, I advised them to recover the remains of Madeleine below the Murat rear gravel driveway. Such a recovery would have had a dramatic effect on the outcome of the matter. I suspect for various reasons Mr Amaral elected not to take up my offer. The reasons for not calling for the excavation of the driveway, I am sure, did not include the fact that I may be wrong in my assumption that the child lay buried under a gravel driveway that had been constructed over her in early 2008. On the contrary, it lay with the fact that if I was right, and the remains of the most famous missing child in the world, did lie buried under the Murat rear gravel driveway, the credibility of Mr Amaral would be unseated by a property developer located 8000km from the crime scene. And then there’s the issue of the dna obtained in the McCann’s hire motor vehicle. A conundrum on its own.

Cassandra Claire once said “ It isn’t against the Law to be an idiot”… Unfortunately in this matter Mr Amaral was an idiot.

Regards

Stephen D Birch

by Liz Eagles 23.01.15 10:41

Is this guff from the same potty bloke who claimed to be dyslexic?

The bloke who went to UK to arm himself with lawyers and hire GPR equipment whilst he had a 'team' in Portugal waiting for his say-so?

The bloke who is completely potty and when challenged becomes very nasty?

by Gaggzy 23.01.15 10:58

Tony Bennett wrote:For anyone reading this post who is unaware of Stephen D Birch and his background, he is an attention-seeking nutcase from South Africa who, like other self-publicising crackpots, has attached himself to the Madeleine McCann case. His main claim to ~~fame~~ notoriety was to take a video of himself in the grounds of Casa Liliana, the home of Robert Murat's mother, Jenny Murat, in Praia da Luz. He took with him a machine he said he had designed which he claimed showed a hollow underneath the Murats' driveway in which Madeleine's body was buried. He claimed that a Portuguese TV company was willing to film him digging up the driveway. He asked people to sponsor him. His machine can be compared with that other machine posssessed by another South African, Danie Krugel, who claimed that placing a hair of Madeleine's in his machine would help him to determine where her body was. Krugel gets more coverage than the alleged 'Smithman' sighting in Dr Kate McCann's book, 'madeleine'. Smithman is mentioned on seven pages; Krugel on nine.

Stephen Birch's claims were deemed credible by a variety of people who should know better, including David Icke, Sonia Poulton and Chris Spivey. All of these people, and others, gave credence to Birch's preposterous claims.

Here is the man himself in an e-mail sent to me this morning

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

23 January 2015

Attention Tony Bennett & Jillhavern forum

Dear Sir

I trust that you are well. I’ve decided to write to you and the members of the forum given the recent legal victory by the McCann’s over Mr Amaral.

You will remember that I predicted that the McCann’s would be victorious with their libel matter against Mr Amaral for his book “The Truth of the Lie”. Given my vast experience with the judicial system, the mere fact that Mr Amaral accused the McCann’s of being involved with the disposal of their child Madeleine, without first having recovered the child’s remains, was in my opinion a cardinal error. Once the McCann’s brought the deformation case against Mr Amaral, the onus immediately fell on Mr Amaral to prove beyond any reasonable doubt, that the McCann’s disposed of their daughter remains. A burden impossible, given that the location of the body would need to be established prior to proving such allegations.

I can only conclude that Mr Amaral having limited legal experience was swept up in the media limelight, and relied heavily on his legal counsel who ill advised him. The recent resignation of his attorney Santos da Oliviera, with whom I have been fortunate to communicate, leads me to believe, that financial restraints further hampered his ability to prepare a strong defence.

Given the political implications attached to the case pertaining to the diplomatic relations and bi-lateral trade between the UK and Portugal, there can be no doubt that when it came to a politically appointed Judge ruling on any point of law, where interpretation of the law could be decided either way, a decision would sway in favour of the McCann’s.

So although I am not in favour of the overall outcome of the case, and in particular the decision in favour of the McCann’s, I must compliment them on a strategy well played. Mr Amaral on the other hand knew that not only was he litigating against the McCann’s but also against his own country.

I gave Mr Amaral several life lines, in that via his attorneys, I advised them to recover the remains of Madeleine below the Murat rear gravel driveway. Such a recovery would have had a dramatic effect on the outcome of the matter. I suspect for various reasons Mr Amaral elected not to take up my offer. The reasons for not calling for the excavation of the driveway, I am sure, did not include the fact that I may be wrong in my assumption that the child lay buried under a gravel driveway that had been constructed over her in early 2008. On the contrary, it lay with the fact that if I was right, and the remains of the most famous missing child in the world, did lie buried under the Murat rear gravel driveway, the credibility of Mr Amaral would be unseated by a property developer located 8000km from the crime scene. And then there’s the issue of the dna obtained in the McCann’s hire motor vehicle. A conundrum on its own.

Cassandra Claire once said “ It isn’t against the Law to be an idiot”… Unfortunately in this matter Mr Amaral was an idiot.

Regards

Stephen D Birch

..... I lost the will to carry on reading after this point!

by Liz Eagles 23.01.15 11:19

@Gaggzy, I almost lost the will to breathe from Stephen Birch's first post on this forum.

He was entertained and became a bit of a 'darling'. Lots of people interested in his mad ramblings, much muttering in the marsh of 'intolerance', 'closed minds', 'freedom of speech' from those who chew on the cud of just about anything said that's a bit controversial.

....and look at him now!

What a wassock.

by plebgate 23.01.15 11:42

I can't see why he wrote to Jill and Tony. What's the point?

by SuspiciousMinds 23.01.15 12:12

plebgate wrote:I can't see why he wrote to Jill and Tony. What's the point?

Because he read the Express, assumed it was correct and wanted to shout "I told you so!", presumably. You'd think someone so apparently obsessed with the case would realise that there hasn't been a verdict yet. D'oh!

by Guest 23.01.15 12:34

Can I throw a spanner in here.

I gave Mr Amaral several life lines, in that via his attorneys, I advised them to recover the remains of Madeleine below the Murat rear gravel driveway. Such a recovery would have had a dramatic effect on the outcome of the matter. I suspect for various reasons Mr Amaral elected not to take up my offer. The reasons for not calling for the excavation of the driveway, I am sure, did not include the fact that I may be wrong in my assumption that the child lay buried under a gravel driveway that had been constructed over her in early 2008. On the contrary, it lay with the fact that if I was right, and the remains of the most famous missing child in the world, did lie buried under the Murat rear gravel driveway, the credibility of Mr Amaral would be unseated by a property developer located 8000km from the crime scene. And then there’s the issue of the dna obtained in the McCann’s hire motor vehicle. A conundrum on its own.

To this day no one knows,or I should say no one has given up Madeleine's body or indication of where it is,so how far away from the realms of possibility is Birch's claim?

by Smokeandmirrors 23.01.15 12:35

Mad as a bag of weasels.

by Guest 23.01.15 12:49

Smokeandmirrors wrote:Mad as a bag of weasels.

That's a new one on me.

Just for reference, is that more or less mad than a box of frogs?

by Joss 23.01.15 12:50

Smokeandmirrors wrote:Mad as a bag of weasels.

by Guest 23.01.15 13:54

Given Birch's self-proclaimed "vast knowledge with the judicial system" one would think that he would be aware that Amaral did not litigate against the McCanns, there's no deformation (sic) involved and it's not a libel trial.

Oh, and there's no apostrophe when talking about both McCanns!

Attention-seeker, IMO.

by lj 23.01.15 15:24

“ It isn’t against the Law to be an idiot”

so true!

by lj 23.01.15 15:28

Clay Regazzoni wrote:
Smokeandmirrors wrote:Mad as a bag of weasels.

That's a new one on me.

Just for reference, is that more or less mad than a box of frogs?

I would bet equally mad, but more dangerous ...

by **Tony Bennett** 23.01.15 17:22

lj wrote:
Clay Regazzoni wrote:
Smokeandmirrors wrote:Mad as a bag of weasels.

That's a new one on me.

Just for reference, is that more or less mad than a box of frogs?

I would bet equally mad, but more dangerous ...

1. Not the brightest light in the harbour.

2. The light's on but no one's home.

3. Not the brightest bulb in the box.

4. A few screws short of a hardware store.

5. Not the sharpest knife in the drawer.

6. A few cards short of a deck.

7. A few fries short of a Happy Meal.

8. About as sharp as a marble.

9. Only has one oar in the water.

10. Smart as a bag of rocks.

11. A burger short of a combo meal.

12. The elevator doesn't go all the way to the top floor.

13. A few peas short of a casserole.

14. A few keys short of a keyboard.

15. Not the brightest bulb on the Christmas tree.

16. The gates are down and the lights are flashing, but the train isn't coming.

17. As smart as a stick.

18. Fell out of the stupid tree and hit every branch on the way down.

19. An intellect rivalled only by garden tools.

20. Has an IQ of room temperature.

21. Couldn't pour water out of a boot with instructions on the heel.

22. Not the brightest crayon in the box.

23. One twist short of a slinky.

24. Sharp as a sack of wet mice.

25. More numb than a frozen mukluk.

26. Not the sharpest crayon in the box.

27. Not the sharpest tool in the shed.

28. They are depriving some village of its idiot.

29. A few threads short of a sweater.

30. A few sandwiches short of a full picnic.

31. Driveway doesn't quite reach the road.

32. The battery is not fully charged.

33. About as sharp as a bowling ball.

34. Dumber than a bag of hammers.

35. Two bricks short of a load.

36. A few clowns short of a circus.

37. A few beers short of a six-pack.

38. Dumber than a box of hair.

39. A few tacos short of a fiesta platter.

40. All foam no beer.

41. As smart as bait.

42. Chimney's clogged.

43. Doesn't have all his dogs on one leash.

44. Forgot to pay his brain bill.

45. The antenna doesn't pick up all the channels.

46. His belt doesn't go through all the loops.

47. Another brain would be lonely.

48. Missing a few buttons on his remote control.

49. No grain in the silo.

50. Proof that evolution CAN go in reverse.

51. Receiver is off the hook.

52. Has a leak in the skylight.

53. Too much yardage between the goal posts.

54. Dumb as a donkey.

55. Not all the soldiers are marching in line.

56. Dumber than paint.

57. Half a bubble off plumb.

58. A few fruit loops shy of a full bowl.

59. Donated his brain to science before he was done with it.

60. A few shades beyond blonde.

61. Has to take turns for the family brain-cell.

62. A few watts short of a light bulb.

63. Dumb as a stump.

64. Running on 3 cylinders.

65. A few Bradys short of a bunch.

66. Has the parachute but is missing the ripcord.

67. Would lose a debate with a doorknob.

68. Has an IQ lower than plant life.

69. All telephone, no receiver.

70. One ski short of a snowmobile.

71. Wouldn't know if they were on foot or horseback.

72. The logs are ablaze but the chimney is clogged.

73. Eats soup with a fork.

74. The wheel is spinning but the hamster fell off (or is dead).

75. The cheese slid off his cracker.

76. The engine is running but nobody is behind the wheel.

77. A few fuses short of a full circuit.

78. A tyre short of an eighteen wheeler.

79. Doesn't have all the chairs at the table.

80. Dumber than a bag of rocks.

81. A shining example of why you should avoid inbreeding.

82. A few pecans short of a fruitcake.

83. As fruity as a bag of Skittles™

84. Would argue with a signpost.

85. If you gave them a penny for thoughts, you'd get change.

86. Dumb as a salt shaker.

87. Has a mind like a steel trap: rusty and illegal in 37 states.

88. Knitting with only one needle.

89. The result of too much chlorine in the gene pool.

90. Not the brightest bulb in the chandelier.

91. Not the quickest bunny in the forest.

92. The hard drive is spinning but the OS hasn't been installed.

93. Not exactly running on all thrusters.

94. A few toppings short of a Deluxe Pizza.

95. A few burgers short of a barbecue.

96. A few roos loose in the top paddock.

97. The wind is blowing but nothing is moving.

98. The umbrella is up but there's no rain.

99. A few colours short of a rainbow.

100. As bright as a lamp in Aladdin's cave.

101. The boat doesn't have all the oars in the water.

102. A few boats short of a fleet.

103. A monosynaptic cretin.

104. A few noodles short of a chow mein.

105. A few bristles short of a broom.

106. A few snags short of a barbie.

107. Doesn't know whether to scratch his watch or wind his butt.

108. Hasn't seen the ball since kickoff.

109. The relative IQ of a deck chair.

110. A poster child for birth control.

111. A few players short of a team.

112. Couldn't hit the floor if he fell on it.

113. A few sheep short of a flock.

114. If you stand close enough to them you can hear the sea.

115. They have an IQ lower than their shoe size.

116. A few gunmen short of a posse.

117. As sharp as a pound of wet liver.

118. Not the quickest horse in the stable.

119. Has a full six-pack, but lacks the plastic thingy that holds them all together.

120. Most people drink from the fountain of knowledge, they only gargled.

121. Not the fastest ship in the fleet.

122. Ten cents short of a dollar.

123. A few boxes short of a pallet.

124. A few grams short of a pound.

125. Shipped but not delivered.

126. A few springs short of a watch.

127. A few bits short of a byte.

128. Only has half a cord in the woodshed.

129. The elevator goes to the top but the doors don't open.

130. A cup and a saucer short of a place setting.

131. If their nose was on upside down they'd drown in the rain.

132. Three ice bricks shy of an igloo.

133. A few marshmallows short of a bowl of Lucky Charms.

134. A few bales short of a wagon load.

135. Couldn't find their way out of a paper bag.

136. A few needles short of a sewing kit.

137. One IQ point above brain death.

138. Any slower and he'd need to be watered once a week.

139. Playing hockey with a warped puck.

140. All booster, no payload.

141. Has some lug nuts rattling in the hubcaps.

142. Nice house, not much furniture.

143. Was hiding behind the door when they passed out brains.

144. One board member short of a quorum.

145. Batteries not included.

146. Lost contact with the mothership.

147. A few cracker jacks short of a full box.

148. A few yards short of a touchdown.

149. Not the sharpest pitchfork in the barn.

150. A few cowboys short of a rodeo.

151. He's got a bow but no arrows.

152. A couple pineapples shy of a luau.

153. A few roots shy of an apple tree.

154. The phone's on but there's no reception.

155. If brains were dynamite, they couldn't blow their hat off.

156. If brains were dynamite, they wouldn't have enough to blow their nose.

157. A quick as a snail crossing super-glue.

158. If brains were webbing, they couldn't put a set of gaiters on a sparrow.

159. His corn bread isn't done in the middle.

160. A few leftovers short of a bread pudding.

161. Not singing from the same hymn sheet.

162. Not wrapped too tight.

163. Not all the dots are on the dice.

164. Have had more meaningful conversations with a brick wall.

165. A few plums short of a pie

166. Ran out of gas before their car.

167. Nice cage, but no bird

168. Left the scene before his body.

169. A few dollars short of a paycheck

170. That bats are out of the bellfry.

171. Has a 4-wheel drive but only three are spinning.

172. A few Prozac short of a prescription.

173. Can't find their butt with two hands and a road map.

174. A couple shakes short of a sauce bottle.

175. A few people short of a party.

176. A pinky shy of a hand.

177. A few leaves short of a bush.

178. Not the tallest tree in the forest.

179. Numb as a hake.

180. Not the fastest car on the track.

181. Couldn't hit a target with an atomic bomb.

182. The laptop's on but there's no internet connection.

183. Not the crunchiest chip in the bag.

184. If they had a brain they'd be on the floor playing with it.

185. One slice shy of a loaf.

186. Out in left field without a catchers mitt.

187. A few megabytes short of a gig.

188. A few electrons short of an isotope.

189. A few grapes short of a fruit salad.

190. If he went any slower he'd have to speed up to stop.

191. Candy bowl not quite full.

192. Fiddle's not in tune.

193. If brains were electricity, they wouldn't have enough to light a firefly.

194. Their dipstick doesn't reach the oil.

195. A few feathers short of a duck.

196. They aren't the most absorbent sponge in the sink.

197. Their dog teaches them new tricks.

198. A few whiskers short of a kitten.

199. The bicycle works but the training wheels wobble.

200. The army invades but they're full of beans.

201. Is a lost ball in high weeds.

202. The pilot light has gone out.

203. Running a quart low.

204. Brother was an only child.

205. Biscuits aren't quite baked.

206. Have too many moving parts and only one string.

207. Conducting without an orchestra.

208. An open book but the pages are blank.

209. Has one wheel in the sand.

210. Not the crispest shirt in the closet (used in The Persuader by Lee Child).

211. The phone's connected but there's no dial tone.

212. Would change a tyre in the fast lane

213. Mad as a hatter.

STOP PRESS... Latest additions

214. Mad as a bag of weasels (per smokeandmirrors)

215. Mad as a box of frogs (per Clay Regazzoni)

216. A few cents short of a euro (per politically correct BBC play - not making this up, I actually heard it. Mind you, that was years ago before the eurozone became a dirty word)

by SuspiciousMinds 23.01.15 17:42

Brilliant! big grin

by lj 23.01.15 19:30

Tony, you truly have enriched my life! big grin

I missed the "zo dom als een deurmat"!

by gemmill 23.01.15 20:53

A legend in his own lunchtime!

by stumo 24.01.15 0:03

Tony Bennett wrote:
lj wrote:
Clay Regazzoni wrote:
Smokeandmirrors wrote:Mad as a bag of weasels.

That's a new one on me.

Just for reference, is that more or less mad than a box of frogs?

I would bet equally mad, but more dangerous ...

1. Not the brightest light in the harbour.

2. The light's on but no one's home.

3. Not the brightest bulb in the box.

in The Persuader by Lee Child).

211. The phone's connected but there's no dial tone.

212. Would change a tyre in the fast lane

213. Mad as a hatter.

STOP PRESS... Latest additions

214. Mad as a bag of weasels (per smokeandmirrors)

215. Mad as a box of frogs (per Clay Regazzoni)

216. A few cents short of a euro (per politically correct BBC play - not making this up, I actually heard it. Mind you, that was years ago before the eurozone became a dirty word)

Do you mean he's ....

three sheets to the wind?

by roy rovers 24.01.15 0:04

Daft as a brush (Paul Gascoigne)
Couldn't walk and chew gum at the same time.... He's a nice fellow, but he spent too much time playing football without a helmet (LBJ on Gerald Ford)

by Smokeandmirrors 24.01.15 0:43

Loving the list Tony big grin

There's quite a few there to keep us going!

by Gaggzy 24.01.15 1:39

As thick as two short planks.

He monopolises stupidity.

The lights are on but there's no one home.

If brains were made of jelly, and sense made of custard, he wouldn't know what the f*** trifle was.

by lj 24.01.15 4:29

roy rovers wrote:Daft as a brush (Paul Gascoigne)
Couldn't walk and chew gum at the same time.... He's a nice fellow, but he spent too much time playing football without a helmet (LBJ on Gerald Ford)

great ones!

by lj 24.01.15 4:32

Smokeandmirrors wrote:Loving the list Tony There's quite a few there to keep us going!

You see, even Stephen D Birch is good for something!

by aiyoyo 24.01.15 8:46

Has an IQ of antarctica temperature.

by Smokeandmirrors 24.01.15 9:01

Couldn't smack a cows bum with a banjo

His birth certificate is a letter of apology from Durex

Mum kept the afterbirth and threw away the baby

One more brain cell and he'd be a mushroom

by whatsupdoc 24.01.15 11:03

Excellent. There are so many funny ones that I haven't heard before. clapping1

by Rufus T 24.01.15 11:37

31. Driveway doesn't quite reach the road.

Very appropriate given the circumstances.

by Sam S 24.01.15 11:41

He's a few hugs short of a happy childhood!

by aiyoyo 24.01.15 11:50

Smokeandmirrors wrote:

One more brain cell and he'd be a mushroom

Hee

....never heard this one before. I like this one. high5

by Liz Eagles 24.01.15 11:51

Smokeandmirrors wrote:Couldn't smack a cows bum with a banjo

His birth certificate is a letter of apology from Durex

Mum kept the afterbirth and threw away the baby

One more brain cell and he'd be a mushroom

Ha ha ha...'couldn't smack a cows bum with a banjo'....that's quite refined...I remember it being said as 'you couldn't hit a cow's a**e with a shovel'...which we used to say to my Dad (in unison) each time he got a drill out and destroyed the walls of the house whilst telling us he worked to a 'thou of an inch'.

Thanks for all the posts, they are very funny.