Gerry McCann Radio 4 Interview - 29/09/2018

I dunno, maybe it's just me, but I sensed an air of finality about the radio interview piece I heard. There was mention at all of continuing to search for Madeleine, of encouraging the public to keep a lookout for her, no message to Madeleine herself, instead, there was a reference to perhaps meeting her again someday, maybe in heaven. It smacked of reinforcing the story that she was kidnapped, that they weren't to blame, that they have moved on. I get the impression they expect Grange to park the investigation in the "unsolved" section and the Madeleine affair to be consigned to history.

Here is the rub for me. For years there has been a clear pattern of March and September fish-feeding-fest reports in the media that Operation Grange are holding out a begging bowl to HO for special funding. Tagged onto this is the McCann fest of media appearance to thank OG for their seemingly inneffective, pointless, meaningless and dwindling staffing.

So why? Why do the McCanns not demand Scotland Yard interview them and clear them officially?

Answers on a postcard.

Gerry McCann has just procured an edited production on BBC Radio 4 to talk about his pain and to totally contradict his own wife's account of what happened, published for an income of around 1 million pounds, given to a limited company legally making up the rules as they go along their venture.

God bless Madeleine McCann.

Just to make it clear, it was Kate's novel that feathered the limited company.

I still can't bring myself to listen to the " me , my pain , me Kate's pain , me , Sean and Amelie , me , my pain , Catholic , me , light , me , my pain , howling wind , me , so cold , wait till it's light , me , going out searching , me , slag off police , me , etc etc etc , " 

Oh yes , and " the girl , " reunited , me and as a postscript Madeleine ! 

I haven't got any Rennies , though I think it would take more than a packet ! 

I thought of using the newspaper to line the cats litter trays , but as my fur balls are getting on in years and one takes it into his head to occasionally urinate outside the tray I don't want to upset them further ! 

A pity party as usual , no mention of we love you Madeleine , we'll never stop searching for you . " The right time " ? What exactly is " right " about now ? The McCanns never do anything without a good reason . 

I wonder what's coming next ?

Hello all, I have recently joined you, after years of hovering. I did not, and don't think I can bear to, listen to this interview. As for "why now"', is panic setting in with the McCanns? Do they think the police just might have a clue as to what happened to this poor little girl?

CaKeLoveR wrote:Hello all, I have recently joined you, after years of hovering. I did not, and don't think I can bear to, listen to this interview. As for "why now"', is panic setting in with the McCanns? Do they think the police just might have a clue as to what happened to this poor little girl?  

I do not know if Gerry is effected by a "Mental health"Problem?

Mr McCann and the"Dogs Of War" they unleashed onto Mrs Brenda Leyland,I know a bit pedantic,Martin Brunt,Jim gamble,Bernard Hogan Howe and Gerry McCann,the Need to "Silence Her" on twitter,sweepyf@ce,"well her secret isn't a secret anymore",wasn't that what you published Martin Brunt on Sky News Corporation for hours on End!

Did you show any Sympathy/Empathy,no you had your story to tell and tell it you did,remember,"What goes around comes back around"?

Why didn't you phone your friend Clarence,he could have verified your complaints or has he developed a "Sphinxitus" virus putting to good use some fine rubber gloves/detergents?

Sounding more like a "Broken Record"stuck!

I'm curious how this programme came about, considering there is no anniversary, or definitive news of Madeleine, and for what purpose.
Did the McCanns and/or Simon Armitage pitch it to Radio 4?

I have just received some emails from a member of staff at Leicester University. He's emailed me on occasions in the past and is an inactive member of this forum - inactive because he feels too much sadness about what may have happened to little Maddie.

He has given me permission to snip parts of his email to publish on the forum:


There is clearly an establishment brick wall, which, even after the Portuguese Supreme Court ruling, will never be dented unless one maverick breaks ranks.
I just wondered if this sudden, totally out-of-character and unconvincing performance by GM could perhaps have something to do with ensuring a more sympathetic reception for his forthcoming public lecture in the University on 29 October.
https://www.eventbrite.co.uk/e/the-frank-may-prize-lecture-2018-using-mri-to-better-understand-and-manage-heart-disease-tickets-45650602180

The Frank May Prize Lecture 2018: Using MRI to better ... www.eventbrite.co.uk Gerry McCann is Professor of Cardiac Imaging at the University of Leicester and an Honorary Consultant Cardiologist based at Glenfield Hospital. Gerry is a Glasgow graduate and did an Intercalated BSc in physiology and sports science. He also undertook early postgraduate training and doctoral ...

On the internal mail Uni events calendar, they stopped giving his name and also asked people to email in advance to confirm attendance, not standard practice.

Could it be that K&G got wind of some negative reactions, possibly even fearing that there might be some kind of demonstration or leafleting outside the venue - or even a disruption of the lecture with an awkward question, or 48 if KM is present??!!!
They never do anything without some ulterior motive and this could perhaps be part of  it??

Academics are trained to spot improbable scenarios and fake arguments unlike the gullible Kandohlas and Kellys!
GM's latest performance is so wildly out of character and so transparently unconvincing that one can only wonder what provoked it.

It also flies in the face of his previous mantra that there is 'no evidence she has come to harm' and is a findable girl. Now they'll meet one day in heaven like a Verdi opera finale (the composer not the poster!!)

With the closing of the online shop and M in heaven they do seem to be trying to close something down and slip away... but too many questions remain unanswered, not least the role of the fund, and costs payable to GA.

Remember it was money not murder that got Al Capone!!!

Keep up the good work, I check in regularly!

Dr R

Cmaryholmes wrote: the DM censors, sorry moderators (I have been barred for years, never told as much they just never allow my comments) are working incredibly hard.

I believe all comments on "sensitive" articles in DM online are routed straight thru GCHQ before DM website even gets to see them. Once you are on the blacklist you wont see any comment you make appear. . . . but you can still comment on the usual rubbish, such as tv baking shows or celebrity gossip articles. It might be an idea to drop some MM comments into unrelated articles just to see if they get through.

I wouldn’t be surprised in the least. I have tried slipping references to MBM into random articles to no avail ...

I'm currently listening to Pick of the Week on Radio 4 which has chosen the programme as a highlight.  Gerry speaking again.

Ladyinred:
 
'I'm curious how this programme came about, considering there is no anniversary, or definitive news of Madeleine, and for what purpose.
Did the McCanns and/or Simon Armitage pitch it to Radio 4?'
 
 
‘Mr Armitage, who wrote a moving poem The Bacon (s/b The Beacon!) to mark the harrowing 1,000-day milestone of Maddie's abduction in 2010…….’
 
 
Mutual benefit? Keeping it in the family it seems.
 
 
Simon Robert Armitage CBE is an English poet, playwright and novelist. He is professor of poetry at the University of Leeds. On 19 June 2015, Armitage was elected to the part-time position of Oxford Professor of Poetry, succeeding Geoffrey Hill. Wikipedia
 
Born: 26 May 1963 (age 55 years), Huddersfield
 
Spouse: Sue Roberts
 
………………………………….
 
TX details:
Pearl: Two Fathers, Two Daughters
·       Saturday 29 September 2018, 2.30pm - 3pm
·       Performed by Iain Glen and Grace Doherty
·       Translated and dramatised by Simon Armitage
·       Producer: Susan Roberts for BBC Radio 4
https://www.bbc.co.uk/mediacentre/latestnews/2018/radio-4-presents-pearl-two-fathers-two-daughters-with-gerry-mccann

Coupling Gerry McCann with the tenderness of poetry has to be an all time low in the non search for his daughter.

Equilateral triangle is how he describes his relationship with his wife and Madeleine. Gerry does seem to like a triangle - take a look at him in the infamous photo where he is speaking of the wider picture.

In that equilateral triangle where do you think he would write his name. Apex man.

Doug D - super sleuth !! I expect that, with a little more digging, one could find other links Armitage/Roberts/McCann  

Self-serving nauseous nonsense

Jill Havern wrote:I couldn't bring myself to listen to it I'm afraid, but PeterMac did and these are his comments:

Defects neatly the Madeleine / Maddie thing by saying He did , Kate didn't . . .  !   NEAT, obviously worried by that lie being exposed

26:16 .  We couldn't sleep, you could just hear the wind howling. It was really windy that whole week, but that particular night the wind was howling round the apartments, . . shutters clanging . .     No mention of "except at lunch time on Thursday . . ."    And sadly the weather reports show a light breeze Force 3 from the NNW that night.   

28:45 .  Alan [Pike]  said "You sound like model parents".   Strange that Kate did not put that in her book

39:30 . had to stay close to where Madeleine was.         well quite so.  PdL in fact, where Madeleine was, and is. 

55 .   The grief and the loss and the pain are not known, - but I certainly don't wish her dead, that's not the Trade-off.   [WTF ?]
I certainly DID Believe in Heaven.  Right now  [laughs],
but I do, it's almost like an instinctive reaction, feel . .  feel we will be reunited, at some point [cries into microphone]     

Is this not yet ANOTHER clear Admission that she is dead, and he knows it.

Alan Pike said you "sound like model parents"?

Sound like - yeah sound like - how exactly does that help them - imo it doesn't.   SOUND LIKE. YEAH.

Re. the mental health aspect - eeerrrr does anybody recall any documentation given to the court proceedings in Portugal indicating this was the case?

Polyenne:
 
Doug D - super sleuth !! I expect that, with a little more digging, one could find other links Armitage/Roberts/McCann  
 
I can’t claim the credit!
    
I picked it up from somewhere else last week, but absolutely no idea where & couldn’t find it again yesterday when I looked.

polyenne wrote:Doug D - super sleuth !! I expect that, with a little more digging, one could find other links Armitage/Roberts/McCann  

Self-serving nauseous nonsense

Well I know the BBC is a big place, but Susan Roberts and Bridget O' Donnell almost certainly know each other.

BBC Radio 4
Saturday 29 September 2018, 2.30pm

Pearl: Two Fathers, Two Daughters



POEM (“Pearl” translated and dramatised by Simon Armitage):

  Beautiful pearl that would please a prince,
  fit to be mounted in finest gold,
  I say for certain that in all the East
  her precious equal I have never found.
  So radiant and round, however revealed,
  so small, her skin so very smooth,
  of all the gems I judged and prized
  I set her apart, unparalleled.

  But I lost my pearl in a garden of herbs;
  she slipped from me through grass to ground,
  and I mourn now, with a broken heart,
  for that priceless pearl without a spot.


GERRY McCANN:  Kate was very keen that she get called Madeleine. And er, I would have shortened it, I'm sure I would've. Certainly where I grew up in Glasgow and with our family we shortened all of our names but er, and really early on if someone called her Maddie or Madds or something, then she would say: "No, my name is Madeleine!"


[poem omitted]


The relationship I had with Madeleine was incredibly special. I would say that between myself, Kate and Madeleine it was like an equilateral triangle.

Yeah, when Madeleine was very young she had really bad colic. After she fed, within thirty minutes she would get a lot of discomfort. And, we almost ran a shift system in terms of getting through it. When she had colic I used to put her
on my chest and rub her back and er, one of the things she used to do was pull the hairs on my chest? Really tightly. Which is quite painful! And er, it seemed to ease her burden a little bit. I felt (laughs) I was taking some of-some of it and I suppose all that contact time and skin-to-skin type contact, I did feel I formed a really strong bond with her at a very young age.

The following year er, before she was even one, we went to Amsterdam. For a year,
which was for my work. And, I was then working pretty much eight till six, Monday to Friday and I didn't have any on-call and I didn't have any weekend duties, so I had an awful lot of quality time with Madeleine when it was just the three of us er, and that was a really special time you can't get back when children are really young.


[poem extract]


She's absolutely amazing (sighs) Um, I-I do think back about this, a lot. You know, all parents think, that theirs child is- are amazing. And most children are amazing. But, some of the stuff that er, I was able to do with Madeleine - the conversations she could have, her character, personality... It's really... fantastic.

After, you know, the twins were conceived in-in Amsterdam and they were born, and er, so we used to get the twins down, especially on a Saturday night, and then
Madeleine and I would sit down in our little snug and, there was two programmes in particular and it was like 'our hour' and one of them was David Tennant had started in Doctor Who, and it might say she was three, and it might seem, Oh god, you can't have a three-year-old watching Doctor Who, but she really loved it. Really loved it.

And er, I would often do the bedtime, with Madeleine in particular I'd start reading a story and lying down on her bed with her and she had these little stars er, that would glow in the night, above her bed. That was OUR time. Really our time.


[poem omitted]


And she loved- y'know, I like my sport, and er, she really loved running round the garden, and playing games and... being chased, and laughing. These are the-the things I really remember. And swimming. She loved swimming. That-that's whuh, so that's the other thing that was-was pretty unique about- you'd take her along to... the swimmin- the local leisure centre, to swimming pool, and she would just march out there, right round the-the pool to her instructor with her cap on, goggles, smiling. No anxiety, fear about it. She was in there.


[poem omitted]


I can't remember how it arose, between friends Dave and Fiona, and Matt, and Russ and Jane about about the idea of going to Praia da Luz.

We went, uh, it was last week in April, and the weather wasn't that good, and it was really windy, and the pool - the big outdoor pool - wasn't heated and, we'd been up early so I-I remember feeling tired, 'cause we'd travelled, and... so I remember I'm getting there and she just said: "Let's go swimming, let's go swimming!"

Madeleine was dragging Kate, and she took her into this pool. And Madeleine lasted quite a bit longer than Kate, 'cause Kate doesn't have much insulation. But she was straight in. That's us just arrived, she saw the pool and she was like: "Swimming!"


[poem omitted]


That actual evening, on the Thursday when we went out. (sighs) It was really when Kate came... r-running back from the apartment screaming. On the night. That was the first... thing that... raised any (well!) it w- it wasn't just raising alarm bells at that point, I mean it was all-out... And I just, it was... complete shock.

And Kate was screaming, "Madeleine's missing, she's gone", and I was like: "She can't be gone". And running in. I was like looking in the bedroom, she wasn't there, and then checking everywhere in the apartment in- even in places I knew she couldn't be, under kitchen sink, in cupboards and- (sigh) and it was disbelief. When she said Madeleine's missing. Disbelief, shock, horror. And then panic, and-and terror. 'Cause I could only think of one scenario. At that time.


[poem omitted]


Yeah. (sighs) So, I haven't thought about... those... moments for a long time.
Those specific moments, because you can imagine it's pretty... painful.
I don't know if-if almost automation kicked in, where, it was like, "Okay, search".

Dave, Russell I think, went outside, round the apartment. So we started searching, more widely, really quickly and then very quickly (sigh) raised the alarm. (sigh) I mean, you're in this quiet little holiday resort - that seemed idyllic - out of season, and I certainly didn't speak Portuguese so I know I asked Matt to-to go to the reception and ask them to call the police. And I was sure she had been abducted.


[poem omitted]


You know... (sighs) I think... I remember just being in... the bedroom, distraught. The two of us, just completely distraught. It was almost feral, the reaction, and the pain. Feeling... helpless, alone. Alone together, but er, it was just... the most painful... realisation. And I couldn't get the darkest thoughts... out of our minds, that, you know, somebody had taken her and abused her. And it felt that every moment that we couldn't find her, you know, was worse.

And... I remember being slumped, (sigh) on the floor, and starting to call. Some of my family members. And um, just saying: "Pray for her". Because I thought that was the only thing that might help at that point.

See, I've been brought up Catholic, and um, wasn't particularly religious (laugh) but that was my (laugh) reaction. And, at that point I certainly wanted to believe there was a God and hope that... it would help.


[poem omitted]


I honestly, if it is- that bit for me IS blurred, I can't-can't really remember in-in the order now about, the police seemed to take forever to arrive.

So I think it was probably (sigh) in those... hours... after they come and taken some st- brief statements and, and then just kind of left us. And, we were alone, we were still in the apartments, and-and then we just felt... terrible. And I know then we-we went... to another apartment. Er, by which time it was (sigh) er, three or four in the morning, and Kate was saying, "I want to go back out and search", and... I said, "Just wait until it gets light". And Kate was, kept saying, "It's so cold".

There was an overwhelming feeling of helplessness, that we couldn't do anything. That was the- and I think that 'experience' that we were feeling, right at the centre of it, was like um, a ripple or a tidal wave going out and crashing into all of our family and friends as they heard what had happened.


[poem omitted]


I mean, that first night was, I-I felt like it lasted forever. Um, obviously didn't sleep (tut) and... went out (sigh) again (sigh) first thing as soon as it was light, Kate and I went back out, walking round the streets of Praia da Luz shouting Madeleine's name and dogs barking, and it's deserted. And, when we came back, we came back sort of between eight and nine the police arrived and then, told us they wanted to take us to Portimao for formal statements. And then, the whole day was spent in the police station.

I mean, I know that at the time it felt like to us nothing was happening, and I was... devastated. I was expecting a Metropolitan-type response. I remember asking the police when they arrived to get a helicopter with seek- heat-seeking equipment. And they thought that somebody could be across the border into borderless Europe, driving her. Or Africa. The ports a couple of hours away. I remember thinking that, get the borders closed. It just felt like there should be roadblocks or something happening.

When we came back, it was dark again, and then I was just absolutely amazed when we drove back into Praia da Luz that there was hundreds of media, there. I don't think I knew anyone had contacted media at that point. My first reaction was
(huh) you know, any privacy we (huh!) was out the window, I remember that. Thinking that. We got drove up to the apartment having seen abuses of people in horrible circumstances over many, many times. And, when we went into the apartment there was someone from the consulate there. And then suddenly I thought, "We could appeal". (Hm!) maybe someone could come forward. And, there was no-one really in control. No-one giving advice. And I just scribbled
whatever I said, down. And um, we went down and, just there was lights and cameras and loads and loads of journalists. And I suppose I felt like I was doing something that could be positive.


[poem omitted]


It's like the sickest you've ever been. It's like: couldn't eat, you could almost not drink. I mean, it's the worst of the-the adrenaline, fear, anxiety that manifests itself in, you know, quite dramatic physical symptoms. I know lots of people have said it, "I can't imagine what your loss is like", but everyone HAS felt that panic, in a supermarket, or a shop, or a sporting event where you lose contact for seconds. So people KNOW what THAT'S like. Every parent has FELT that, and they know. I mean, you put it in a situation and, it was magnified, but that in terms of... surviving...

After I did- went out and did the appeal, asking for information and people to come forward, we come in back up to the apartment and... a counsellor had arrived, Alan. He'd said, you know, "I'm there". And at the time I just didn't think I'd be the sort of person that would... need counselling. Or respond to it. And he was great, and just said, "Well, I'm here, you can call me, any time".

And then when we did finally go to bed, in the dark, and we couldn't sleep. I could just hear the wind howling. It was really windy that whole week, but the wind (laugh) that particular night was howling round the apartments. Shutters rattling, and...


[poem omitted]


And we were getting (short sigh) more and more distraught. I think, I can't remember some time between four and five, one of us said let-let's phone Alan. And he came round to the apartment. He started talking, to us and-and it was interesting 'cause h-he started off asking just about our normal life, our week at home and what it was like and imagine the feelings we had and how - I mean, this has been misconstrued many times, but Kate had said you know, "I'd let her down, I let her down, I wasn't there for her" and that feeling of guilt that-that we both had and that we had somehow let this happen, or gave someone an opportunity, is the way I can perceive it now but at the time it was guilt - that we were partly responsible for allowing someone to steal our daughter.

And erm, after listening to us, Alan just said: "You sound like (laughs) model parents". And er, I suppose at the time... that was something we probably really needed to hear. 

[sound of breathing]


[poem omitted]


We were paddling furiously under the water just to keep our nose above the surface. I was so close to drowning. That's what it felt like.

Lack of information about what was happening, that was the hard- I think, in medicine and I think every walk of life, the worst thing for anyone is not knowing what's happening, and lack of information, and that was- that was almost paralysing.

without a doubt the family's support's incredibly important. At times we were just crumbling. I'd just go into the bedroom and lie down and cry. And that happened for a very long time afterwards or got triggered by something: a song an emotion, a- And sometimes letting that emotional release happen was important.

But, you know, how we responded I think was very different after the first 36 or 48 hours whatever it was. Almost like a switch clicked for me? It took Kate much, much longer to get into that mode.

It's quite hard to describe because it-it was, it felt transformative and we had gone down to the church quite a bit. I suppose now you know, I was- we probably call it mindfulness, I was just 'no distraction' and I was thinking, and I had the closest thing (laugh) I'm sure that I've ever had to a vision but I-I felt like we were in a tunnel and it was really dark, and that's what it felt like. But on this particular day, I could just see that the tunnel had a- an ending, and there was light, and then the light was getting bigger and brighter, and that to me was like a symbol that we could do things that would make our-our goal, of finding Madeleine more achievable.


[poem omitted]


We had a tremendous amount of support from the community, and... I-I did pray a lot, especially in the first months.

The church is shared between the Catholics and the Church of England and um, I can't remember who gave her the key but, I think one of the-the key moments was I think the first Sunday mass was Mothering Sunday that we went to? And we were down the front, and every woman in the-the congregation came up, and held our hands and said: "Strength - esperança". And that... made me feel stronger. Having that level of support.


[poem omitted]


My (huh) spirituality has waxed and waned throughout my whole life? But I suppose... has always been there to some extent in the background? And Kate and I are both Catholic.

We had a-a quite earnest discussion about whether or not we would bring Madeleine up Catholic, although I-I was not as you might say devout, certainly far from it, but, we made a decision that it- we felt it's a really good... principles to guide our own lives and um, that we thought it would be a good thing to do, so we made a conscious decision, so we b- we became a bit more involved in the church again.

We chose to have her baptised there in Liverpool.


[poem omitted]


(sigh) I think that's back to what I was really saying, though: mine's has always waxed and waned. I say Kate's hasn't but mine's has and, yeah, I've found it harder with all those millions and millions of prayers to accept that that's had an influence. Or hasn't had a better outcome, with so many people praying, and I find that very difficult to accept.


[poem omitted]


Very early on... you know, we were saying, "Were not leaving without Madeleine". And that's what it felt like. We had pre-school kids, and that was certainly how I felt in the first month or two. But it became very, very apparent to me from the end of July through August that... us staying in Portugal was actually making the situation worse. And it was being counterproductive whether we liked it or not. It certainly felt like to me that... the problem just had to go away. And that er, Portugal's reputation was being damaged, and being kept informed of progress was really what we wanted.

We'd stayed to stay close to where Madeleine was, but once... this kind of spotlight had turned on us, I said to Kate, in August, we needed to leave.

So it felt like we were ripped (sigh) um, but at that point it was clearly, after we were made arguido, it was impossible and unbearable. And you know, we did, of course ask for permission, to leave, but that whole journey to the airport is just, like something out of a horror movie. Like, we were- the whole thing was like a nightmare but it was- it was the worst bit where, everything turns, just...


[poem omitted]


I mean, Madeleine's room's pretty much as it was. There's um, a wardrobe full of presents. Christmas and birthdates and other special occasions. But it's- the decoration's the same. And, bedding. And the stars are still up there, the last time I was in. So it's pretty much the same.

And for a long time we couldn't let people in her room. Almost felt like it was defiling Madeleine, that Madeleine's memory. The thought of even selling our house and thinking that people would see Madeleine's room, is not very appealing.


[poem omitted]


Yeah, that first month or two was really um, was busy. And obviously that- it was fairly quick, it was about ten days where they obviously announced there weren't going to be any charges but, by that point I'd completely lost any faith in the Portuguese police and, it was, to me there was an orchestrated media campaign that was trying to make us look guilty. And then the British press were worse by just picking it up and splashing- often things that were buried in small print of a newspaper and splashing it as front page headlines.

Yeah, the-the whole of that first fifteen months just felt like one acute severe episode of grief and loss and pain, and compounded and pain by things reported as fact that was nothing more than speculation or lies. That had a huge impact on us, and I think the hardest bit was e-each of us was struggling so much that it was actually hard to support each other.

Thankfully, the days where both of us were having a really bad day were infrequent. So, supporting each other and having a common goal. And I think for us that enormous amount of family and friend support that we had that- it just enabled us to function. And we got a huge amount of support from ordinary people. But it was touch and go. There were periods where you just felt that you were going under. And it was often late at night, when you are tired, and of course your sleep gets disturbed but- and getting through the nights was the hardest. If a thing that kept us- really for us, the twins.

Having two other children, trying to make sure that they had enough love and attention that they deserved, individually in their own rights, was incredibly important, and thank God. And I-I don't know what it would be like if- I mean, Madeleine the special bond with-with me and with Kate and our first child and how hard we tried to have children... but it would have been even worse if she had been our only child, because we needed the two young people who are part of us, who needed that support


[poem omitted]


There's never a day goes by where I-I don't think about Madeleine and the situation, and what might have happened. That now – and we're eleven years down the line, but - over the course and particularly since the Metropolitan Police started investigating, six-and-a-half years ago, or nearly seven, we've had a new normality: that our day-to-day life is a family of four and not a family of five. And although Madeleine will always be part of it, you adapt to - it's terrible to say, and it sounds cold - but you can't live the way we lived (laughs) for fifteen months. You can't. You-you get drained, and exhausted. (sighs) You've crutches. Whether it be people, distraction. You cannot live like that. You can't live for that emotion on a day-to-day basis. It completely drains you.


[poem omitted]


Often, you know, clearly my memories - and happy memories - are of a girl who was almost four. But, you look at Amelie and how she's developed, and you can't help but think, what would she look like? And, anniversaries are obviously really difficult, and birthdays in particular. But also seeing Sean and Amelie go through all the stages that I imagine Madeleine would and that I'd be seeing her and part of it, and when we were running around the garden and seeing her swimming and seeing how good Sean and Amelie are at these things. I do often think, what it would be like with Madeleine there.

And, thank God Sean and Amelie have had each other, but what they have missed out having such a lovely big sister is very painful. And, I've not done it for a while but watching the home videos that we have with them, the three of them together.

And I've got photographs up all round the house. That hasn't changed, of the three of them, but yeah, the first day when she should have gone to school. That autumn. But seeing your twins who are twenty-one months younger than Madeleine going to secondary school and er, you- you know, doing science and French, and you can't help but think, that's what Madeleine should be doing.


[poem omitted]


I have dreamt about her (sighs) um, including you know, in-in the last few months, but it- it's-it's not frequent. They're painful when they happen.


[poem omitted]


I thought about it a lot early on, and... what I was absolutely confident about is... whatever had happened, Madeleine was still alive, and is still alive, but we could cope. And she would be be in the right place.

That's how I felt about it. And I think, and I have thought about it recently and I just want to hug her, and hold her, and cry. A lot. And I would just deal with that situation as it arose.

I have thought at various points, yeah, what it would mean just stepping back from everything else.


[poem omitted]


I think that's the-the thing that I've seen over and over again. You adapt to your situation, and I think it's human nature. And the amount of people who have said to us, "I don't know how you've coped" and "I know I wouldn't have coped", but actually you see it all the time when people are fighting illness, or deaths of parents or children or other incredible tragedies, come through over and over. We're incredibly resilient, for the most part. And people help you. And time... makes the pain ease.

The grief and the loss and the pain, some of the pain we have is not known, but I certainly don't wish her dead. And it's not a trade-off at any point.

I certainly did believe in Heaven. Right now? (laughs) But, I do almost think that, again it's almost like an instinctive reaction. I feel... and it's just a feeling - I feel we will be reunited. At some point.

[sniffling]


[poem omitted]


END

  jonal, thanks a trillion for taking the time for a transcript.  Is that the entire interview?

Plenty meat there to pull off the bone. 

I'm crying now..sniffle

Sundance wrote:Susan Roberts and Bridget O' Donnell almost certainly know each other.

Do they?

Verdi wrote: Is that the entire interview?

Hi Verdi,

Yes it is every word (some a little indistinct) from GM's mouth. I put in the stammers and pauses because I feel these are sometimes revealing. I omitted the poem as I think that would be copyrighted, available in all good bookshops, etc.

Well done to EnglishBull for posting the full interview without the poem, I'm afraid I had to listen to the whole thing but I would recommend his edited version.

Thank you very much Jonal...I've sent it to PeterMac, cos he's got plans y'know...

Thanks jonal,    

This means I really don't have to listen to him ! 

Jonal wrote:

Verdi wrote: Is that the entire interview?

Hi Verdi,

Yes it is every word (some a little indistinct) from GM's mouth. I put in the stammers and pauses because I feel these are sometimes revealing. I omitted the poem as I think that would be copyrighted, available in all good bookshops, etc.

Well done to EnglishBull for posting the full interview without the poem, I'm afraid I had to listen to the whole thing but I would recommend his edited version.

Excellent Jonal - I thank you!

I will immediately post-up on the McCann Interview Transcripts thread for posterity!

I'm grateful you didn't include the poetry reading, an uneccesary distraction. A bit like mood music.

Jill Havern wrote:Thank you very much Jonal...I've sent it to PeterMac, cos he's got plans y'know...

Sounds interesting.   Will we be told?

Note he didn't mention the grinning on the balcony or the lollipops.  

Can't stand him.

JimbobJones wrote:

Cmaryholmes wrote: the DM censors, sorry moderators (I have been barred for years, never told as much they just never allow my comments) are working incredibly hard.

I believe all comments on "sensitive" articles in DM online are routed straight thru GCHQ before DM website even gets to see them. Once you are on the blacklist you wont see any comment you make appear. . . . but you can still comment on the usual rubbish, such as tv baking shows or celebrity gossip articles. It might be an idea to drop some MM comments into unrelated articles just to see if they get through.

Yahoo had an article about them this morning.  Some cracking comments.  The public are not going to shut up.

I think this is true. I have noticed the same thing. A few months ago DM had an article about a computer programme that could tell if someone was lying by analysing their speech. I sent an email saying that they should try it out on the parents of Madeleine McCann. Nothing printed...I re-sent it five times.....nothing. I then sent a mail saying that " they should try it out on the parents of the abducted girl "...It got printed.