Stephen D Birch writes a personal letter to CMOMM on the Amaral libel trial - 23 January 2015

Given Birch's self-proclaimed "vast knowledge with the judicial system" one would think that he would be aware that Amaral did not litigate against the McCanns, there's no deformation (sic) involved and it's not a libel trial.

Oh, and there's no apostrophe when talking about both McCanns!

Attention-seeker, IMO.

Clay Regazzoni wrote:

Smokeandmirrors wrote:Mad as a bag of weasels.

That's a new one on me.

Just for reference, is that more or less mad than a box of frogs?

I would bet equally mad, but more dangerous ...

lj wrote:

Clay Regazzoni wrote:

Smokeandmirrors wrote:Mad as a bag of weasels.

That's a new one on me.

Just for reference, is that more or less mad than a box of frogs?

I would bet equally mad, but more dangerous ...

1. Not the brightest light in the harbour.

2. The light's on but no one's home.

3. Not the brightest bulb in the box.

4. A few screws short of a hardware store.

5. Not the sharpest knife in the drawer.

6. A few cards short of a deck.

7. A few fries short of a Happy Meal.

8. About as sharp as a marble.

9. Only has one oar in the water.

10. Smart as a bag of rocks.

11. A burger short of a combo meal.

12. The elevator doesn't go all the way to the top floor.

13. A few peas short of a casserole.

14. A few keys short of a keyboard.

15. Not the brightest bulb on the Christmas tree.

16. The gates are down and the lights are flashing, but the train isn't coming.

17. As smart as a stick.

18. Fell out of the stupid tree and hit every branch on the way down.

19. An intellect rivalled only by garden tools.

20. Has an IQ of room temperature.

21. Couldn't pour water out of a boot with instructions on the heel.

22. Not the brightest crayon in the box.

23. One twist short of a slinky.

24. Sharp as a sack of wet mice.

25. More numb than a frozen mukluk.

26. Not the sharpest crayon in the box.

27. Not the sharpest tool in the shed.

28. They are depriving some village of its idiot.

29. A few threads short of a sweater.

30. A few sandwiches short of a full picnic.

31. Driveway doesn't quite reach the road.

32. The battery is not fully charged.

33. About as sharp as a bowling ball.

34. Dumber than a bag of hammers.

35. Two bricks short of a load.

36. A few clowns short of a circus.

37. A few beers short of a six-pack.

38. Dumber than a box of hair.

39. A few tacos short of a fiesta platter.

40. All foam no beer.

41. As smart as bait.

42. Chimney's clogged.

43. Doesn't have all his dogs on one leash.

44. Forgot to pay his brain bill.

45. The antenna doesn't pick up all the channels.

46. His belt doesn't go through all the loops.

47. Another brain would be lonely.

48. Missing a few buttons on his remote control.

49. No grain in the silo.

50. Proof that evolution CAN go in reverse.

51. Receiver is off the hook.

52. Has a leak in the skylight.

53. Too much yardage between the goal posts.

54. Dumb as a donkey.

55. Not all the soldiers are marching in line.

56. Dumber than paint.

57. Half a bubble off plumb.

58. A few fruit loops shy of a full bowl.

59. Donated his brain to science before he was done with it.

60. A few shades beyond blonde.

61. Has to take turns for the family brain-cell.

62. A few watts short of a light bulb.

63. Dumb as a stump.

64. Running on 3 cylinders.

65. A few Bradys short of a bunch.

66. Has the parachute but is missing the ripcord.

67. Would lose a debate with a doorknob.

68. Has an IQ lower than plant life.

69. All telephone, no receiver.

70. One ski short of a snowmobile.

71. Wouldn't know if they were on foot or horseback.

72. The logs are ablaze but the chimney is clogged.

73. Eats soup with a fork.

74. The wheel is spinning but the hamster fell off (or is dead).

75. The cheese slid off his cracker.

76. The engine is running but nobody is behind the wheel.

77. A few fuses short of a full circuit.

78. A tyre short of an eighteen wheeler.

79. Doesn't have all the chairs at the table.

80. Dumber than a bag of rocks.

81. A shining example of why you should avoid inbreeding.

82. A few pecans short of a fruitcake.

83. As fruity as a bag of Skittles™

84. Would argue with a signpost.

85. If you gave them a penny for thoughts, you'd get change.

86. Dumb as a salt shaker.

87. Has a mind like a steel trap: rusty and illegal in 37 states.

88. Knitting with only one needle.

89. The result of too much chlorine in the gene pool.

90. Not the brightest bulb in the chandelier.

91. Not the quickest bunny in the forest.

92. The hard drive is spinning but the OS hasn't been installed.

93. Not exactly running on all thrusters.

94. A few toppings short of a Deluxe Pizza.

95. A few burgers short of a barbecue.

96. A few roos loose in the top paddock.

97. The wind is blowing but nothing is moving.

98. The umbrella is up but there's no rain.

99. A few colours short of a rainbow.

100. As bright as a lamp in Aladdin's cave.

101. The boat doesn't have all the oars in the water.

102. A few boats short of a fleet.

103. A monosynaptic cretin.
 
104. A few noodles short of a chow mein.

105. A few bristles short of a broom.

106. A few snags short of a barbie.

107. Doesn't know whether to scratch his watch or wind his butt.

108. Hasn't seen the ball since kickoff.

109. The relative IQ of a deck chair.

110. A poster child for birth control.

111. A few players short of a team.

112. Couldn't hit the floor if he fell on it.

113. A few sheep short of a flock.

114. If you stand close enough to them you can hear the sea.

115. They have an IQ lower than their shoe size.

116. A few gunmen short of a posse.

117. As sharp as a pound of wet liver.

118. Not the quickest horse in the stable.

119. Has a full six-pack, but lacks the plastic thingy that holds them all together.

120. Most people drink from the fountain of knowledge, they only gargled.

121. Not the fastest ship in the fleet.

122. Ten cents short of a dollar.

123. A few boxes short of a pallet.

124. A few grams short of a pound.

125. Shipped but not delivered.

126. A few springs short of a watch.

127. A few bits short of a byte.

128. Only has half a cord in the woodshed.

129. The elevator goes to the top but the doors don't open.

130. A cup and a saucer short of a place setting.

131. If their nose was on upside down they'd drown in the rain.

132. Three ice bricks shy of an igloo.

133. A few marshmallows short of a bowl of Lucky Charms.

134. A few bales short of a wagon load.

135. Couldn't find their way out of a paper bag.

136. A few needles short of a sewing kit.

137. One IQ point above brain death.

138. Any slower and he'd need to be watered once a week.

139. Playing hockey with a warped puck.

140. All booster, no payload.

141. Has some lug nuts rattling in the hubcaps.

142. Nice house, not much furniture.

143. Was hiding behind the door when they passed out brains.

144. One board member short of a quorum.

145. Batteries not included.

146. Lost contact with the mothership.

147. A few cracker jacks short of a full box.

148. A few yards short of a touchdown.

149. Not the sharpest pitchfork in the barn.

150. A few cowboys short of a rodeo.

151. He's got a bow but no arrows.

152. A couple pineapples shy of a luau.

153. A few roots shy of an apple tree.

154. The phone's on but there's no reception.

155. If brains were dynamite, they couldn't blow their hat off.

156. If brains were dynamite, they wouldn't have enough to blow their nose.

157. A quick as a snail crossing super-glue.

158. If brains were webbing, they couldn't put a set of gaiters on a sparrow.

159. His corn bread isn't done in the middle.

160. A few leftovers short of a bread pudding.

161. Not singing from the same hymn sheet.

162. Not wrapped too tight.

163. Not all the dots are on the dice.

164. Have had more meaningful conversations with a brick wall.

165. A few plums short of a pie

166. Ran out of gas before their car.

167. Nice cage, but no bird

168. Left the scene before his body.

169. A few dollars short of a paycheck

170. That bats are out of the bellfry.

171. Has a 4-wheel drive but only three are spinning.

172. A few Prozac short of a prescription.

173. Can't find their butt with two hands and a road map.

174. A couple shakes short of a sauce bottle.

175. A few people short of a party.

176. A pinky shy of a hand.

177. A few leaves short of a bush.

178. Not the tallest tree in the forest.

179. Numb as a hake.

180. Not the fastest car on the track.

181. Couldn't hit a target with an atomic bomb.

182. The laptop's on but there's no internet connection.

183. Not the crunchiest chip in the bag.

184. If they had a brain they'd be on the floor playing with it.

185. One slice shy of a loaf.

186. Out in left field without a catchers mitt.

187. A few megabytes short of a gig.

188. A few electrons short of an isotope.

189. A few grapes short of a fruit salad.

190. If he went any slower he'd have to speed up to stop.

191. Candy bowl not quite full.

192. Fiddle's not in tune.

193. If brains were electricity, they wouldn't have enough to light a firefly.

194. Their dipstick doesn't reach the oil.

195. A few feathers short of a duck.

196. They aren't the most absorbent sponge in the sink.

197. Their dog teaches them new tricks.

198. A few whiskers short of a kitten.

199. The bicycle works but the training wheels wobble.

200. The army invades but they're full of beans.

201. Is a lost ball in high weeds.

202. The pilot light has gone out.

203. Running a quart low.

204. Brother was an only child.

205. Biscuits aren't quite baked.

206. Have too many moving parts and only one string.

207. Conducting without an orchestra.

208. An open book but the pages are blank.

209. Has one wheel in the sand.

210. Not the crispest shirt in the closet (used in The Persuader by Lee Child).

211. The phone's connected but there's no dial tone.

212. Would change a tyre in the fast lane

213. Mad as a hatter.


STOP PRESS... Latest additions

214. Mad as a bag of weasels (per smokeandmirrors)

215. Mad as a box of frogs (per Clay Regazzoni)

216. A few cents short of a euro (per politically correct BBC play - not making this up, I actually heard it. Mind you, that was years ago before the eurozone became a dirty word)

Brilliant!

Tony, you truly have enriched my life! 

I missed the "zo dom als een deurmat"!

A legend in his own lunchtime!

Tony Bennett wrote:

lj wrote:

Clay Regazzoni wrote:

Smokeandmirrors wrote:Mad as a bag of weasels.

That's a new one on me.

Just for reference, is that more or less mad than a box of frogs?

I would bet equally mad, but more dangerous ...

1. Not the brightest light in the harbour.

2. The light's on but no one's home.

3. Not the brightest bulb in the box.

 in The Persuader by Lee Child).



211. The phone's connected but there's no dial tone.

212. Would change a tyre in the fast lane

213. Mad as a hatter.


STOP PRESS... Latest additions

214. Mad as a bag of weasels (per smokeandmirrors)

215. Mad as a box of frogs (per Clay Regazzoni)

216. A few cents short of a euro (per politically correct BBC play - not making this up, I actually heard it. Mind you, that was years ago before the eurozone became a dirty word)

Do you mean he's ....

 three sheets to the wind?

Daft as a brush (Paul Gascoigne)
Couldn't walk and chew gum at the same time.... He's a nice fellow, but he spent too much time playing football without a helmet (LBJ on Gerald Ford)

Loving the list Tony  There's quite a few there to keep us going!

As thick as two short planks.

He monopolises stupidity.

The lights are on but there's no one home.

If brains were made of jelly, and sense made of custard, he wouldn't know what the f*** trifle was.

roy rovers wrote:Daft as a brush (Paul Gascoigne)
Couldn't walk and chew gum at the same time.... He's a nice fellow, but he spent too much time playing football without a helmet (LBJ on Gerald Ford)

great ones!

Has an IQ of antarctica temperature.

Couldn't smack a cows bum with a banjo

His birth certificate is a letter of apology from Durex

Mum kept the afterbirth and threw away the baby

One more brain cell and he'd be a mushroom

Excellent. There are so many funny ones that I haven't heard before.       

He's a few hugs short of a happy childhood!

Smokeandmirrors wrote:

One more brain cell and he'd be a mushroom

 

Hee Hee ....never heard this one before.  I like this one.  

Smokeandmirrors wrote:Couldn't smack a cows bum with a banjo

His birth certificate is a letter of apology from Durex

Mum kept the afterbirth and threw away the baby

One more brain cell and he'd be a mushroom

Ha ha ha...'couldn't smack a cows bum with a banjo'....that's quite refined...I remember it being said as 'you couldn't hit a cow's a**e with a shovel'...which we used to say to my Dad (in unison) each time he got a drill out and destroyed the walls of the house whilst telling us he worked to a 'thou of an inch'.

Thanks for all the posts, they are very funny.

If brains were taxed he wouldn't get a refund.
Useful as a cat door on a submarine.
A few Brady's short of a Bunch.
An intellect rivaled only by garden tools.
Went to a mind reader and they didn't bother charging.

WMD wrote:Can I throw a spanner in here.

I gave Mr Amaral several life lines, in that via his attorneys, I advised them to recover the remains of Madeleine below the Murat rear gravel driveway. Such a recovery would have had a dramatic effect on the outcome of the matter. I suspect for various reasons Mr Amaral elected not to take up my offer. The reasons for not calling for the excavation of the driveway, I am sure, did not include the fact that I may be wrong in my assumption that the child lay buried under a gravel driveway that had been constructed over her in early 2008. On the contrary, it lay with the fact that if I was right, and the remains of the most famous missing child in the world, did lie buried under the Murat rear gravel driveway, the credibility of Mr Amaral would be unseated by a property developer located 8000km from the crime scene. And then there’s the issue of the dna obtained in the McCann’s hire motor vehicle. A conundrum on its own.

To this day no one knows,or I should say no one has given up Madeleine's body or indication of where it is,so how far away from the realms of possibility is Birch's claim?

It is certainly not impossible that Madeleine's body is buried somewhere in the vicinity of OC and Luz. Although I suspect that GM made sure that there was no body to be found. It does strike me that Murat and the McCanns and indeed TM generally both have much dirt that they can dish out on each other. Which makes me wonder how involved Murat is in the whole McScam. And there is no denying that £600,000 is a nice little lump sum for someone whose life has been so ruined by the case that he still lives quite contentedly, or so it would seem, in the area. He does not appear to be a pariah in any way.

Received yesterday by e-mail from Stephen D Birch, the man given a free half-hour platform by Sonia Poulton on 'The People's TV' to spout his nonsense:

 
"I see you failed to load the video on the Jillhavern Forum. You not interested in finding Maddie are you ????"

Tony Bennett wrote:Received yesterday by e-mail from Stephen D Birch, the man given a free half-hour platform by Sonia Poulton on 'The People's TV' to spout his nonsense:

 
"I see you failed to load the video on the Jillhavern Forum. You not interested in finding Maddie are you ????"

Sorry for being a dumbo, but which video Tony?