Vroom vroom!... plus new blog... New reference Material/Blacksmith

Saturday, 10 March 2012

Vroom vroom!

Things are gathering speed very nicely indeed.

There is little point in trying to push too hard for the progress of the Yard review: the conclusions haven’t yet been written. In the meantime, as in 2007, we are at liberty to infer.

That is not quite the same as guessing. Because of the documentation kindly made available by the Portuguese and, even more kindly, by Kate McCann, we can be quite certain that those lay people who have studied the case know more than most of the Scotland Yard officers did before they were appointed to the review team. And very much more than any journalists, whose knowledge of the case is gained by skimming the blogs and – again! – copying from the Portuguese media: note how poor Kier Simmons was once more caught out.

That is one of the few benefits for those of us who have become obsessional about the case while others, police, journalists, lawyers, in both countries, have had to concentrate their energies on other cases, other stories. Those fortunate enough to have the time and wealth to keep in touch with the case in a way that is impossible for the others can be surprised by the eventual packaging of the review but no, not by its contents.

90% of the evidence is known to us. 5% say, the vital 5% which includes the likely identity of the person or persons who removed the child from the apartment and disposed of the body, is unknown but will almost certainly already have been explored as a possibility by those interested in the case; the remaining 5% is the detailed information still held in confidence, mostly consisting of UK police files which were excluded from the case papers release, such as the statements of officer Bob Small, for example.

It’s the way he tells them…

Conclusions of a report are another matter. While there isn’t the slightest likelihood of a Yard whitewash –nobody would know how to perform one even if it were desirable – we know from the archiving report that conclusions can sometimes contradict the data itself, if the authors simply see no way of going forward and wish to provide a halt, temporary or otherwise, to what’s going on.

…Menezes that is

The decision to release the arguidos at that time was a perfectly reasonable one, marred by the unfortunate attempts of the prosecutor Menezes to invent a flowery intellectual justification for it instead of saying the truth which everyone except Amaral tacitly acknowledged – “we’ve had enough,we’re buggared, we aren’t getting anywhere, release them and let’s all go home”. Still, there was never going to be a tidy and trouble-free end to that particular chapter. Can the same thing happen again after the Yard review?

In a sense, yes. Unless someone can be prosecuted then the police have little room for manoeuvre. Only a court can exonerate the McCanns so if nobody is prosecuted then the report will have to be kept confidential on “natural justice” grounds to the parents.

That will irritate us but will bring no change whatever for the McCanns: they’ll have to continue in their self-imposed limbo until the next state-sponsored attempt to get at the facts in another five years and on and on for the rest of their lives. Unless the civil law, in the shape of the libel courts and their effect on public consciousness, imposes its own solution.

So, for those interested, here are our views of events so far. Readers will accept or reject them according to their estimate of our reliability.

The Portuguese investigation was first reviewed by its own prosecutors who recommended the archiving of the case.
That review, the archiving summary, lists and evaluates the data uncovered in the investigation: almost 100% of the information is found to offer no opportunities, or leads, for probing the case further. That remains the case.
Almost 100%. There is just one section in the summary which deals with the few leads which have not been followed up and it is headed “About the Interest of the Reconstitution”.
It follows that any new review which is not prompted by new information must, after the reviewers have familiarised themselves with the case, concentrate on that section. How could it not?
And no new information prompted the establishment of the review. The only prior claims of possible new information, the McCann’s various suggested suspects, were found to lead nowhere, usually within hours of their announcement.
Therefore, the foundation stone of the review remains the “About the Interest of the Reconstitution” section and the complete resolution of the questions raised there.
The success or otherwise of such a resolution will determine the success or failure of the Scotland Yard review; successful investigation of the questions may lead to a re-opening of the case and the possibility of a trial. Failure to do so will leave matters exactly where they were in 2008 – except that the chances of the child being alive are now much less than the official “fifty-fifty” then.


And now for the good news

The apparently reliable news of the Oporto connection, of course, fits in rather cheerfully with the above conclusions. Again, look at the logic of events. The Portuguese, whom you could almost hear sighing with relief when they got rid of the McCanns in 2008, have turned into gluttons for punishment and established a fresh squad of their own before the Yard review has finished. Why would that be?

Well, there are two answers. Both of them seem to suggest liaison between Portugal and the UK is as good as we were hoping. The first is the one that the lawyer Alves seems to be hinting at: that something quite outside the Tapas 9 has been discovered in the review so important that a squad has been set up to “develop” it, probably working once again with British officers. Since it’s Alves who’s claiming it, in a mumbling sort of way, we can assume that it’s abductor news. Dreams do,after all, come true.

If they do you’d think the McCanns would be the first to know, wouldn’t you? All right those hard protestant northerners in London and Leicester aren’t saying anything but you might think that Alves and Abreu, Duarte and the rest would have picked up some good vibes to pass on to them by now. Nope. The McCanns know zero from England and only what they read in the newspapers or Amaral tells them from Portugal. Odd, don’t you think?

Or you can ignore Alves as a clumsy windbag who won’t have any facts to add and believe, as Amaral and for what it’s worth, the Bureau does, that the Yard and the Portuguese are together getting close to completing the work that the archiving summary was inviting them to undertake. And Kate and Gerry McCann are frozen in the headlights.*

Come on Clarence! There’s a lorra, lorra work to do! Stop ignoring Gerry’s calls and start meeting him to work out a strategy for the rest of 2012. What about the obvious stuff like driving a wedge between this bloody Brits and Ports co-operation, for Christ’s sake? And why haven’t you provided the follow-up to the the Mirror stuff about the libel trial? Clarence, you can’t just lie there and hope it will all go away. Clarence!



He’s gone missing again

*The McCanns, like their lawyers, always read the Bureau. Can we expect a public appearance to prove us wrong?

Posted by john blacksmith at 16:19

http://blacksmithbureau.blogspot.com/

New Reference Material



Our science and culture editor writes:

A living language is constantly changing

The latest amendments to the Oxford University Press Reference and Citation Online Database are due for publication in May 2012. The database, which lists both standard dictionary changes and incorporations and works of specialist definition and explanation under the OUP imprint (science dictionary, legal dictionary, short encyclopaedia etc.) is updated every two years and the 2012 edition has reached the letter M. Some of the new entries which may be of interest to Bureau readers are listed below.

McCann Measure, noun, [Scientific] This is a new variable fractal metric used particularly in measurement of the seashore and it varies between zero and infinity. Maximal: It was nine hundred thousand MM metres from one end of Brighton beach to the other.Minimal: it was twenty MM yards from the restaurant to the apartment . The quantum correspondence unit is the BOG, derived from Bottom of Garden (source unknown).

McCann-Oldfield Safety Check [legal/medical] A specialised check on the condition of an old or vulnerable person which consists of looking at walls, doors, shutters etc. but excludes observation of the person at risk. The M.O.S.C is sometimes known vulgarly in care homes as a “Death Watch” or a “Stocking-Filler”.

Macvirus, noun [medical] A virus which strikes suddenly at family members after their homes have been searched by the police. Symptoms are sore throats and extreme verbal inaccuracy. Unlike sufferers from similar viruses, patients do not lie down but lie up, down, sideways and continually. An attack lasts only as long as it is needed.

McCann Truth Value, MTV [philosophical ] This is a measure of truth and paradox, value varying between zero and one. MTV 1 statements always mean their own opposite. Example; we are glad to co-operate with the police means we are actively destroying their work. We were pleased to be told that we were not suspects means those bastards are taking us in next week. Related is the TTV, derived from Tapas Group Truth Value, used in the specialised sense of an intention which will deliberately never be carried out. Example: We will be glad to return to Portugal if we can be of any help.

McCann’s Best Friend [linguistic; humorous] Not a dog.

McCann-Healy Psychosis [medical] A special form of schizophrenic psychosis. The patient gives the impression of normality and even sweetness to outsiders but is prone to episodes of extreme violence. Sufferers sometimes have the verbal version only, in which they express manic hate for their enemies in personal writings such as diaries or memoirs. In more serious cases, which are usually covered up by loyal family members, the victim punches walls and attacks furniture etc. In the episodic acute phase of a severe condition the victim should never be approached without precautions, particularly by the young.

Where the disease has developed to the upper level patients are plagued by visions of which they are at first ashamed but, as the disease progresses, inappropriately begin to find quite normal, such as, for example, giant vivid pictures of children’s genitals being ravished. Despite their apparently normal conduct people suffering this condition desperately need treatment – and soon.

McSwear Disease, A mild form of Tourette’s Syndrome which is sometimes a diagnostic indicator of the potential onset of McCann-Healy Psychosis.Sufferers defy and attempt to block out reality with foul language. Sometimes known as FTS, or [vulgar] Fucking-Tosser Syndrome. .

McCann Time Dilation/Contraction Measure [scientific] A branch of relativity theory measuring events which are timed differently according to the location of the observer. Take a twin observer event. Observer 1 says the event took thirty seconds and the event was static; Observer 2 says the event took three minutes and involved forward movement. In humorous scientific terms Observer 1 is often called the bathroom girl or “bint in a towel” observer [origin unknown]. Observer 2 is often known as the “tit twister [again origin unknown].


McCann Tendon Injury [medical] A disabling injury to the Achilles tendon, often caused by sports activity such as badminton or, particularly, tennis. The MTI is unique in fully healing within fifteen minutes.


Macfly verb[criminology] The action of detailed planning for an illegal flight from a country by car because one expects to be convicted on serious criminal charges.

Healy-deal, or healydealy. [commercial] A deal which never existed but which was invented by one of the two parties.

Macfun, noun [entertainment] The action of having fun from a macfunned. Normally a macfunned is set up with the best of intentions in favour of a person in need. That person receives zero benefits from the fund. The people who set it up and run it, however, have macfun, that is long-distance air flights, professional fees and mortgage benefits etc. Some people believe that a funfund of this type is both immoral and illegal. In its worst form it is said to be a transparent macfunned.

Bigmac, noun, [financial and entertainment] A beneficiary of a macfunned.

Littlemac [tragic] A theoretical beneficiary of a macfunned who actually receives nothing whatever of the funfunds.

Macspenses [financial and entertainment] These are “expenses” in a macfunned that the public are never allowed to see; they run into the millions of pounds.

Macperks These are macspences such as family flight tickets etc.

Macdoze minor [medical] An extremely rare form of African trypanosomiasis or sleeping sickness. Victims are under three years of age and fall spontaneously into deep sleep from which they cannot be awakened for at least six hours, however loud the noises around them. Only two European cases have ever been known but, since the doctor involved took the extraordinary decision not to refer the cases to the emergency services, our knowledge of the condition in Europe remains poor.

Mactannervision [medical] MTV A form of image intensification or night vision usually associated with cats’ eyes. In a few cases it is found in humans and the person will possess detailed night vision while remaining invisible to others. This is sometimes knows as having mac’s eyes.

Macwatch, noun. (1) A form of guarding or supervision inviting trespass, kidnap and sometimes death. Example: Who let the fucking suicide bomber in, for Christ’s sake? Wasn’t there a sentry? No sergeant, that night there was only a macwatch. (2) A wristwatch which always reads 9.04 PM and is invisible to others. The typical wearer suddenly “sees” it after a period of months.

Macmemory syndrome [medical] Sudden and astonishing retrieval of sensations from memory many months after the event. It is associated with Geripys disease, a mental condition in which sufferers remember “sensing” strangers or “abductors” hiding in the lavatory bowl while urinating. V. rare

Mactar, or Tarmac An expression of thanks uttered by criminals when the Macfunned gives them vast amounts of money donated by a foolishly sentimental and gullible public to help a missing child.

Macsagonna [criminology] Slang term used by Glasgow criminals. Example: Macsagonna. When? This year. So’s his wife.

My absolute favourite:

McCann’s Best Friend [linguistic; humorous] Not a dog.

Together with the biblical references in the topic 'Gerry's Law' it puts the ridiculous stories and the idiotic reverence the media have for the McCanns in perspective.

From Gerry's Law, Russian Doll 7/2/12
Remember the blessed evening time, keep it sacred. In the day thou shall play tennis and do all thy running ,and to-ing and fro-ing with the little ones to creche, but the evening time is the holy time according to Gerry McCann. Now thou shall do no parenting : not you, nor your wife, nor your friend, nor any of those who have chosen to spend their evenings in thy company. For they will have been tired through all the sailing running and tennis of the long, long day. Therefore the Lord blessed the evenings and hallowed them. All ye who have weary bones from the trials of exercise, hark unto me, bathe thyselves , partake of some wine for it will revive thee, prepareth thyselves for some blessed tapas and rejoice that thou art free for those thou mayest be "into".
Verily, thou might have only a week, and thou shouldst make the most of it.

I enjoyed that so much, I read it twice.

OK , shall we, without being libellous or overly-offensive, add to the list a few more mc -isms and definitions of our own?

russiandoll wrote: OK , shall we, without being libellous or overly-offensive, add to the list a few more mc -isms and definitions of our own?

McFairytale Differs from the ordinary Fairytales so beloved by children in that its the baddies who live happy ever after

womandotcom wrote:

russiandoll wrote: OK , shall we, without being libellous or overly-offensive, add to the list a few more mc -isms and definitions of our own?

McFairytale Differs from the ordinary Fairytales so beloved by children in that its the baddies who live happy ever after

Nice one!

Mclibel(ous) would have been good to work with, unfortunately it's already been taken as in the Mclibel two, nothing to do with them, just another coincidence in this whole saga. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/McLibel_Case

A McCannism - anything that works for a Mccann but won't work for anyone else.

Macdetergent (housekeeping) 90% guaranteed to clean any bodily fluid from holiday appartments, curtains, aztec blankets, pink trainers, carbooths, carkeys, checked pants, childrens toys. Caution: allways carefully read the accompanying manual first.Legendary example of an omission to read the manual:

Out, damn'd spot! out, I say!—One; two: why, then
'tis time to do't.—Hell is murky.—Fie, my lord, fie, a soldier,
and
afeard? What need we fear who knows it, when none can call
our
pow'r to accompt?

(Macbeth, William Shakespeare)

McCadamascus : being infused with religion on suffering a sudden loss - believing prayer is more effective than physically searching for a lost child.

Macademia - a strain of intelligent nut

Macadaver Dog - a breed of totally useless canine

McNaff - there's just so much! jogging in shorts for the photocell etc...

McCalucky, getting your stolen property returned by an almost honest thief - e.g. a wallet still containing money

Macannibals (anthropology): Parents eating their own offspring

Macnanimity - the ability to forgive/pray for a person/persons who may have harmed/killed a child and eschew resentment or revenge. A selfless act.

aquila wrote:Macnanimity - the ability to forgive/pray for a person/persons who may have harmed/killed a child and eschew resentment or revenge. A selfless act.

Madeleine (literary) The longest suicide note in history (inquit John Blacksmith)

Let's all hope& pray the twins are safe.

It's eerily quiet on their account, whereas their parents must be considered to be able to go over their past exploits, and to be able to see that they have lost just about everything they too, once, must have considered worth while?

Parents have been known to kill their children, their spouses and themselves for less.

Usually, one of the parents survives.

And, strangely, it is allways the father who exits the family home with blood dripping of his sleeves, claiming: 'She provoked me'.

McTunnel [Medical] A rare type of tunnel vision said to be experienced only by devout (born again) Catholics during a mass. Distinguishable from common tunnel visión by the accompanying image of a golden treasure trove at the end of the treacherous passageway.

McCannical



He set about his grim task with McCannical efficiency.

MacUntergang: Hiding under the bed untill someone comes to escort them to safety

macfly : what you would wish to be in a police interview room when the grillings were underway...under caution.

macflurry : a short sharp burst of texts and or/phone calls after a long period of phone silence.

macsandra : an especially annoying and tenacious journalist, to whom one can only respond with a really nauseating
macsmirk : a self-satisfied arrogant smile, given instead of a reasoned answer to a logical question, often preceded by a smart remark.


maccat : soft and cuddly child's toy, comforter for the little ones at night, then by day can be either carried by hand, conveniently drawing the eye to the good quality macwristbands; alternatively can be carried peeping out of a bag for "cute" effect. hand or machine washable, suggest the latter for getting rid of those stubborn stains and odours. e.g. suncream

McCannemies: The rest of us as perceived by the rest of them

McRaking - bad quality investigative journalists who rake the muck from the bottom of the barrel and present it as fact

McSpreading - bad quality PR spin doctors spread muck and untruths and present it as fact..

macchechchch...(colloquial scouse)....as in just doing a chechchch!- the effort of walking between 40-100 yards from being into ones friends to chechchch on your lonely children.


mcgump-to run and run and run instead of search and search and search...........derived from forrest gump...usually used in conjunction with the phrase " mah papah says lahfe is lahke dahning in yoah gahden"....ludicrous,. ludicrous.

mcscram- to leave a foreign country following the imposition of arguido status

maccharisma-the monotonous drone of glaswegian medical and education professionals during interviews--not!

macarena- a popular dance and song some years back, could be wrong but may have originated on the Iberian peninsula....tenuous

macwhooshclunk-the sound of windows and curtains simultaneously closing/not closing when one is carrying out a macchechchch(see prev. ed)

macplonk-the sound made by NZ wine entering its chosen receptacle

macplonker- (definition to be confirmed)

Mac-kin-tosh - the ability to urge one's family to speak to the media within hours of one's child disappearing. A relatively new derivative of 'macintosh' a waterproof garment designed to protect one from the elements.

As in: F....g Mac-in-toshers?

Sorry, couldn't help it. just asking.

Bad taste, bad taste, sorry!

OK, SO SORRY!!

McGerrybark [psychiatry] A form of denial; and a form of display of barely suppressible anger.
The patient when questioned, is prone to lash out at questioner, by answering question with a question (accompanied by a repulsive shrug) hoping to curtail further questioning on the topic. Example: a patient when asked "what do you think of the dogs findings" will reply "Ask the dogs".

McGerrymuratsnap [psychiatry] . A branch of study focusing on analysis of a patient's reason for denial. The patient when asked whether he knows such and such a person will neither acknowledge nor deny knowledge of the person by a non-committal "NO COMMENT" reply.

McMantra; (noun) A repetitive chant that will help you keep your cool; when clearly being disbelieved we find 'F***ing To*ser, F***ing To*ser' to be most effective.

McFlit; (noun or verb as in 'do a...')An unplanned trip, especially when one 'fears they are being framed'

McGrounds; (noun) One's garden: much bigger than the average and tends to include a swimming pool, restaurant, and a public right of way (often abused by swarthy gypsies)

McTome; 1)(noun) Should be named 'MacBook', but that's copy righted unfortunately. Refers to a lengthy novel that somehow appears in non-fiction! 2)An extremely long written confession...

McNuggets; (forensic linguistics): A very enlightening little gem, dropped unknowingly, into rambling assertions of innocence

McWhopper; (linguistics) A particularly breathtaking falsehood or reversal of previous claim (often found in the McTome)

McCleared; The state of claiming one is free of suspicion, yet not (ie, McCleared is what an archiving despatch did not do

McPerson-of-Interest; (Law, noun): In plain English, 'a suspect'

Oh for goodness sake is that the best you can all come up with after my suggestion for more additions to the new and revised macdictionary of the English language ?

seriously folks, while it might seem offensive and incongruous to see any humour in this case, I believe that from time to time if we don't have a little comic relief we will all go nuts. It is dark humour of course, how could it be anything else.....and coming up with the new definitions is working our brains but in a different way than usual.
I am confident we all know where to draw the line and this will grind to a halt quite naturally.

to add :
an extension of Rainbow Fairy's macwhopper........ supersize macwhopper with cheese.
an especially huge porkie pie with an extra layer of unhealthy and sickly stuff on top, for example a slushy sentimental photo-opportunity accompanying a macwhopper, supposed to add emotional impact to the story being told, but having the reverse effect on those not taking things at face value...just adding to the sudden urge to run and stick one's head down the toilet...........where the macwhopper quite rightly belongs.