How To Botch an Investigation into a Missing Child

by Woofer 23.06.14 22:49

That word - bungled - the word our media love to describe the Portuguese investigation.

Well IMO the investigation was well and truly botched by TM both before and after the police got there.

Here`s how to do it :-

1.       Make sure lots of different people trample all around the crime scene.

2.       Make sure you don`t give a personal item of the lost person for the tracker dogs to sniff.

3.       Make sure you wash everything that the missing person wore.

4.       Don`t answer any of the questions that the police ask you.

5.       Make sure you send away any people like social workers that may be able to help you.

That`ll do for starters.

by lufc50337 23.06.14 23:01

Give incorrect timelines

False sightings

Give contradictory and false information regarding doors / shutters / windows etc

by Guest 23.06.14 23:14

Delete phone calls and messages

by **sharonl** 23.06.14 23:27

Run a private investigation alongside the official one

Call Gordon Brown to exert pressure on the authorities

Call the media and arrange for the publication of bogus e-fits

Put pressure on the police by allowing the media to discredit the investigation team

Get a rich benefactor and allow him to intimidate witnesses

Allow your private investigators to pay bribes to people to claim that they saw something

Allow your private investigators to take the investigation away from the actual scene and into another country

Allow your private investigators to divert the official investigation by creating false leads and to send them on a wild goose chase

Refuse to carry out a reconstruction unless it is televised and to your liking

Introduce crazy ideas like a man with a body finding machine

Make sure that the investigating officer is removed from the case just as he is about to conclude on it.

Arrange a clean up of the crime scene

If applicable refer to page 183 of the freemasons handbook

by Guest 24.06.14 6:16

Have a media spokesperson who makes things up on the fly about watches and cameras.

by Iamtheseeker 24.06.14 7:16

1) ignore the shifty little rodent eyes and quick movement of the hands
2) Hire a professional liar

by cockerspaniel 24.06.14 9:36

Write a book full of lies that contradicts your original statements, oh and wash your childs smell of her favourite soft toy!
spin

oh and get all your mates to lie for you, get one of them to make up a ficticious abductor, and then best of all...GET SCOTLAND YARD TO FIND HIM FOR YOU...LOL LOL LOL big grin

by Liz Eagles 24.06.14 9:43

Delete mobile phone records/activity.

Get a new mobile (preferably delivered to the police station by a friend).

Keep police busy with looking at the reasons for the above.

by HelenMeg 24.06.14 9:47

Have your mate 'store' the hire car in which you may or may not have transported dead body.

Write a daily blog to give 'your version' of events

Do a disappearing act on big blue bags and pink blankets

Create plenty plenty confusion

Hold a secret pact meeting to make sure you align your stories

Communicate in private - for instance you could go jogging up mountains or get your mate to give you the church keys

Get some decent cleaning materials so you can clean any blood or bodily fluids from the walls and in between the cracks of the tiles.

Hey, why not use a toothbrush to really get into the cracks - works wonders.

add a pinch of political interference..

by HelenMeg 24.06.14 9:49

I think we have enough suggestions to create a nice little handbook on the subject.

We could sell it and raise funds .... for GA

by HelenMeg 24.06.14 9:51

Oh Yes -

Create a fund! to pay for lawyers who can get you off the hewk..

by Cristobell 24.06.14 10:24

Give an audience to the Pope

Arrange for family and friends, lawyers and heavy mob to monitor the internet

Find dirt on investigating police officers, if not make it up

Get donations to buy job lot of t-shirts, then sell back to donors ~~mugs~~ at twice the price

Arrange photoshoots with celebrity magazines

Encourage fruitloops and psychics to inform police of all epiphanies, manifestions and visions

by cockerspaniel 24.06.14 10:33

tell the courts you have finally "gone round the pipe" , to win a huge settlement then get your mouthpiece to say you are just fine and never said you wished you could "just push
a button"

oh and most of all....dont give a toss about anyone else !

ps. this thread given me a few needed laughs this morning..thank you all.

by HelenMeg 24.06.14 10:48

cockerspaniel wrote:tell the courts you have finally "gone round the pipe" , to win a huge settlement then get your mouthpiece to say you are just fine and never said you wished you could "just push
a button"

oh and most of all....dont give a toss about anyone else !

ps. this thread given me a few needed laughs this morning..thank you all.

Yes me too Cocker - ( I have recently become addicted to cockers after having springer - now have 2 cockers - a 1 year old ( show type) and a 4 year old (worker) - chalk and cheese but so cheeky._

also necessary to get the ladeeeez on your side - you know Loz Kell and Mzzz Young

by cockerspaniel 24.06.14 10:55

HelenMeg wrote:
cockerspaniel wrote:tell the courts you have finally "gone round the pipe" , to win a huge settlement then get your mouthpiece to say you are just fine and never said you wished you could "just push
a button"

oh and most of all....dont give a toss about anyone else !

ps. this thread given me a few needed laughs this morning..thank you all.
Yes me too Cocker - ( I have recently become addicted to cockers after having springer - now have 2 cockers - a 1 year old ( show type) and a 4 year old (worker) - chalk and cheese but so cheeky._

also necessary to get the ladeeeez on your side - you know Loz Kell and Mzzz Young

ahh. they are gorgeous tho arnt they helen,....spaniels that is !

by HelenMeg 24.06.14 11:03

cockerspaniel wrote:
HelenMeg wrote:
cockerspaniel wrote:tell the courts you have finally "gone round the pipe" , to win a huge settlement then get your mouthpiece to say you are just fine and never said you wished you could "just push
a button"

oh and most of all....dont give a toss about anyone else !

ps. this thread given me a few needed laughs this morning..thank you all.
Yes me too Cocker - ( I have recently become addicted to cockers after having springer - now have 2 cockers - a 1 year old ( show type) and a 4 year old (worker) - chalk and cheese but so cheeky._

also necessary to get the ladeeeez on your side - you know Loz Kell and Mzzz Young
ahh. they are gorgeous tho arnt they helen,....spaniels that is !

Cocker - they are the best! I'm tempted to DE-rail this thread to discuss the sheer delight-fulness of spaniels but better not!

by kimHager 24.06.14 11:19

TM...oh boy teehee...
*Have dinner every night and leave your children unsupervised
*Write a checklist on your missing childs notepad
*Do not go out and search for missing child
*Create enough red herrings that the scooby doo gang wouldnt touch it
*When in doubt open that NZ bottle
*blame it on tanner-creche-tractor-white van-gypsy-pedo-man
*confusion is good Gerry said so
*when family comes send them home.
The list goes on and on IMO

by cockerspaniel 24.06.14 11:21

HelenMeg wrote:
cockerspaniel wrote:
HelenMeg wrote:
cockerspaniel wrote:tell the courts you have finally "gone round the pipe" , to win a huge settlement then get your mouthpiece to say you are just fine and never said you wished you could "just push
a button"

oh and most of all....dont give a toss about anyone else !

ps. this thread given me a few needed laughs this morning..thank you all.
Yes me too Cocker - ( I have recently become addicted to cockers after having springer - now have 2 cockers - a 1 year old ( show type) and a 4 year old (worker) - chalk and cheese but so cheeky._

also necessary to get the ladeeeez on your side - you know Loz Kell and Mzzz Young
ahh. they are gorgeous tho arnt they helen,....spaniels that is !
Cocker - they are the best! I'm tempted to DE-rail this thread to discuss the sheer delight-fulness of spaniels but better not!

bites tounge and agrees with helen! thumbsup

by Justformaddie 09.07.14 18:12

Simple.... Phone mr&mrs..... sarcastic

by Carrry On Doctor 09.07.14 18:18

kimHager wrote:TM...oh boy teehee...
*Have dinner every night and leave your children unsupervised
*Write a checklist on your missing childs notepad
*Do not go out and search for missing child
*Create enough red herrings that the scooby doo gang wouldnt touch it
*When in doubt open that NZ bottle
*blame it on tanner-creche-tractor-white van-gypsy-pedo-man
*confusion is good Gerry said so
*when family comes send them home.
The list goes on and on IMO

Say you are happy to take a lie detector test and then say you wont unless you stipulate the questions

by kimHager 10.07.14 20:14

oh yes almost forgot the most important one ty for reminding me carry on doctor make sure TM are in charge and.deferred to regarding all proceedings criminal and always let director Gerry write you lines for you, anything short of total control errm just wont do

by Justformaddie 11.07.14 11:47

Well, here's another confusion.com for me. The very next morning at the police station, km was told of strangers getting into bed with young children, but, she locked that bit of information away from her, because they were assaulted and not stolen, even though she claimed maddie was taken by a paedophile or paedophile group $i don\'t know$ IMO