The Phantom Predator of Praia

The Phantom Predator of Praia
 

The Predator watched as they left by the wrought iron gate
This, according to Kate and Gerry was at half past eight
Now the predator knew one of them would be back on the dot of nine
So thirty minutes was his short window of time
 
Obviously the predator was not awfully bright
He had stood watching the flat from under a street light
He knew the patio doors were open, he had tried them the night before
So why did he delay, what was he waiting for?
 
The window of opportunity was closing to snatch the child away
It must have been good to know in a dark flat, exactly where Madeleine lay
Who gave him this information must be of real concern to the McCanns
It would suggest people they knew must be in on the diabolical plans
 
Now the predator has delayed too long and knows Gerry is on his way back
But for some strange reason still decides to carry out his attack
Kate and Gerry could clearly see and hear the flat from the tapas bar
Yet he still had the audacity to open the bedroom door and leave it ajar
 
 On hearing Gerry enter through the patio door did the phantom panic,
 did the phantom flee?
No, he would wait in the apartment whilst Gerry had a pee
The predator must have nerves of steel is all that you can say
Most of us would be sweating profusely and leave their DNA
 
Our spotty unwashed predator must have been a very thin man
Because for over five minutes he was not spotted by Gerry McCann
He didn’t hide in the bedrooms, he wasn’t in the loo
Was he really spider man sticking to the ceiling like glue?
 
Now the predator has only 15 minutes before Kate is coming back
And he is still inside the darkened flat
The front door is locked, every window and shutter too
So what is the evil predator to do?
 
The only escape route is through the patio door
But this plan has one major flaw
Gerry is talking to a friend at the bottom of the step
So the predator thinks of the most ludicrous plan yet
 
He makes himself and Madeleine invisible by his magic cape
With a swoosh it goes over them and they make their escape
He knew the alarm would soon be raised and time was getting short
But he was confident enough for a stroll around the quiet resort
 
According to the McCanns the predator had cunning and guile
And if the case wasn’t so tragic there are things to raise a smile
For days he had scrutinised the Macs to and from the tapas bar
But on the night in question, didn’t have the common sense to bring a getaway car
 
So the latest suspect is an ultra thin spider man with a magic cape
But then he goes and makes a major mistake
He must have brushed Jane Tanner with his magic cape
Because she too became invisible to Gerry talking to his mate
 
And now that we know Tanner is not the full shilling ,we need a new phantom to take over top billing
So enter Smithman a doppelganger for Gerry McCann and we are back to where it all began
We are assured it was not him as he was in the tapas at ten
It is such a shame there are no independent witnesses then!

 
very good

I think your poem is 5 star and thanks for posting.   Excellent. 

Excellent!!  

Come on Tony, give us a limerick!

Thank you for making me laugh RIPM. Very good indeed.

Funnily enough I'd been thinking we need a cheery up page as this business can really get to you. I have had the song "Something's gotta give" in my head all morning. However, the irresistible force paradox falls down a little as, when it meets the immovable object, neither is destroyed.
 Pity, I had rather cast AR in the role of Immovable object with GM crashing into it in the manner of an unguided missile!                                                       

absolutely brilliant !

Thanks again to RIPM and cannot compete with that but I love a bit of fun so here goes with a Limerick:

Gerry's Holiday

I'm not here to enjoy, am I f****
There's no golf and I'm down on my luck
Now we're all getting panned
And I'm sat in Deutchland
Three pals down, with a swimming pool duck.

Brilliant!!!

Thanks RIPM. That has me doubled up

   

10/10

 

RIPM wrote:The Phantom Predator of Praia
 

The Predator watched as they left by the wrought iron gate
This, according to Kate and Gerry was at half past eight
Now the predator knew one of them would be back on the dot of nine
So thirty minutes was his short window of time
 
Obviously the predator was not awfully bright
He had stood watching the flat from under a street light
He knew the patio doors were open, he had tried them the night before
So why did he delay, what was he waiting for?
 
The window of opportunity was closing to snatch the child away
It must have been good to know in a dark flat, exactly where Madeleine lay
Who gave him this information must be of real concern to the McCanns
It would suggest people they knew must be in on the diabolical plans
 
Now the predator has delayed too long and knows Gerry is on his way back
But for some strange reason still decides to carry out his attack
Kate and Gerry could clearly see and hear the flat from the tapas bar
Yet he still had the audacity to open the bedroom door and leave it ajar
 
 On hearing Gerry enter through the patio door did the phantom panic,
 did the phantom flee?
No, he would wait in the apartment whilst Gerry had a pee
The predator must have nerves of steel is all that you can say
Most of us would be sweating profusely and leave their DNA
 
Our spotty unwashed predator must have been a very thin man
Because for over five minutes he was not spotted by Gerry McCann
He didn’t hide in the bedrooms, he wasn’t in the loo
Was he really spider man sticking to the ceiling like glue?
 
Now the predator has only 15 minutes before Kate is coming back
And he is still inside the darkened flat
The front door is locked, every window and shutter too
So what is the evil predator to do?
 
The only escape route is through the patio door
But this plan has one major flaw
Gerry is talking to a friend at the bottom of the step
So the predator thinks of the most ludicrous plan yet
 
He makes himself and Madeleine invisible by his magic cape
With a swoosh it goes over them and they make their escape
He knew the alarm would soon be raised and time was getting short
But he was confident enough for a stroll around the quiet resort
 
According to the McCanns the predator had cunning and guile
And if the case wasn’t so tragic there are things to raise a smile
For days he had scrutinised the Macs to and from the tapas bar
But on the night in question, didn’t have the common sense to bring a getaway car
 
So the latest suspect is an ultra thin spider man with a magic cape
But then he goes and makes a major mistake
He must have brushed Jane Tanner with his magic cape
Because she too became invisible to Gerry talking to his mate
 
And now that we know Tanner is not the full shilling ,we need a new phantom to take over top billing
So enter Smithman a doppelganger for Gerry McCann and we are back to where it all began
We are assured it was not him as he was in the tapas at ten
It is such a shame there are no independent witnesses then!

Top-noch RIPM, thankyou   

Has this been posted on facebook or twitter?

I think that now is the time for a new version of The Banner Man called of course The Tanner Man.
 
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HL1rj5ymYwY
 
".....and the Tanner Man held the bundle high, he was 10 foot tall and he touched the sky......"
 
Every bit as believable as Jane's version, isn't it?
 
RIPM or anyone else with a literary talent, can you think of some more words?