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How To Botch an Investigation into a Missing Child

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How To Botch an Investigation into a Missing Child

Post by Woofer on 23.06.14 22:49

That word - bungled - the word our media love to describe the Portuguese investigation.
 
Well IMO the investigation was well and truly botched by TM both before and after the police got there.
 
Here`s how to do it :- 
 
1.       Make sure lots of different people trample all around the crime scene.
 
 
2.       Make sure you don`t give a personal item of the lost person for the tracker dogs to sniff.
 
 
3.       Make sure you wash everything that the missing person wore.
 

4.       Don`t answer any of the questions that the police ask you.
 
 
5.       Make sure you send away any people like social workers that may be able to help you.
 
 
 
 
 
 That`ll do for starters.
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Re: How To Botch an Investigation into a Missing Child

Post by guest. on 23.06.14 23:01

Give incorrect timelines

False sightings

Give contradictory and false information regarding doors / shutters / windows etc


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Re: How To Botch an Investigation into a Missing Child

Post by Guest on 23.06.14 23:14

Delete phone calls and messages
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Re: How To Botch an Investigation into a Missing Child

Post by sharonl on 23.06.14 23:27

Run a private investigation alongside the official one
 
Call Gordon Brown to exert pressure on the authorities
 
Call the media and arrange for the publication of bogus e-fits
 
Put pressure on the police by allowing the media to discredit the investigation team
 
Get a rich benefactor and allow him to intimidate witnesses
 
Allow your private investigators to pay bribes to people to claim that they saw something
 
Allow your private investigators to take the investigation away from the actual scene and into another country
 
Allow your private investigators to divert the official investigation by creating false leads and to send them on a wild goose chase
 
Refuse to carry out a reconstruction unless it is televised and to your liking
 
Introduce crazy ideas like a man with a body finding machine
 
Make sure that the investigating officer is removed from the case just as he is about to conclude on it.
 
Arrange a clean up of the crime scene 

If applicable refer to page 183 of the freemasons handbook

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Re: How To Botch an Investigation into a Missing Child

Post by BlueBag on 24.06.14 6:16

Have a media spokesperson who makes things up on the fly about watches and cameras.
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Re: How To Botch an Investigation into a Missing Child

Post by Iamtheseeker on 24.06.14 7:16

1) ignore the shifty little rodent eyes and quick movement of the hands
2) Hire a professional liar

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Re: How To Botch an Investigation into a Missing Child

Post by cockerspaniel on 24.06.14 9:36

Mr Write a book full of lies that contradicts your original statements, oh and wash your childs smell of her favourite soft toy!
 spin

oh and get all your mates to lie for you, get one of them to make up a ficticious abductor, and then best of all...GET SCOTLAND YARD TO FIND HIM FOR YOU...LOL LOL LOL big grin  Mrs

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Re: How To Botch an Investigation into a Missing Child

Post by aquila on 24.06.14 9:43

Delete mobile phone records/activity.

Get a new mobile (preferably delivered to the police station by a friend).

Keep police busy with looking at the reasons for the above.
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Re: How To Botch an Investigation into a Missing Child

Post by HelenMeg on 24.06.14 9:47

Have your mate 'store' the hire car in which you may or may not have transported dead body.

Write a daily blog to give 'your version' of events

Do a disappearing act on big blue bags and pink blankets

Create plenty plenty confusion

Hold a secret pact meeting to make sure you align your stories

Communicate in private - for instance you could go jogging up mountains or get your mate to give you the church keys 

Get some decent cleaning materials so you can clean any blood or bodily fluids from the walls and in between the cracks of the tiles.

Hey, why not use a toothbrush to really get into the cracks - works wonders.

add a pinch of political interference..

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Re: How To Botch an Investigation into a Missing Child

Post by HelenMeg on 24.06.14 9:49

I think we have enough suggestions to create a nice little handbook on the subject.

We could sell it and raise funds .... for GA

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Re: How To Botch an Investigation into a Missing Child

Post by HelenMeg on 24.06.14 9:51

Oh Yes -

Create a fund! to pay for lawyers who can get you off the hewk.. Mr

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Re: How To Botch an Investigation into a Missing Child

Post by Cristobell on 24.06.14 10:24

Give an audience to the Pope

Arrange for family and friends, lawyers and heavy mob to monitor the internet

Find dirt on investigating police officers, if not make it up

Get donations to buy job lot of t-shirts, then sell back to donors mugs at twice the price

Arrange photoshoots with celebrity magazines

Encourage fruitloops and psychics to inform police of all epiphanies,  manifestions and visions

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Re: How To Botch an Investigation into a Missing Child

Post by cockerspaniel on 24.06.14 10:33

tell the courts you have finally "gone round the pipe" , to win a huge settlement then get your mouthpiece to say you are just fine and never said you wished you could "just push 
a button"

oh and most of all....dont give a toss about anyone else !


ps.  this thread given me a few needed laughs this morning..thank you all.

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Re: How To Botch an Investigation into a Missing Child

Post by HelenMeg on 24.06.14 10:48

@cockerspaniel wrote:tell the courts you have finally "gone round the pipe" , to win a huge settlement then get your mouthpiece to say you are just fine and never said you wished you could "just push 
a button"

oh and most of all....dont give a toss about anyone else !


ps.  this thread given me a few needed laughs this morning..thank you all.
Yes me too Cocker - ( I have recently become addicted to cockers after having springer  - now have 2 cockers - a 1 year old ( show type) and a 4 year old (worker) - chalk and cheese but so cheeky._

also necessary to get the ladeeeez on your side - you know Loz Kell and Mzzz Young

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Re: How To Botch an Investigation into a Missing Child

Post by cockerspaniel on 24.06.14 10:55

@HelenMeg wrote:
@cockerspaniel wrote:tell the courts you have finally "gone round the pipe" , to win a huge settlement then get your mouthpiece to say you are just fine and never said you wished you could "just push 
a button"

oh and most of all....dont give a toss about anyone else !


ps.  this thread given me a few needed laughs this morning..thank you all.
Yes me too Cocker - ( I have recently become addicted to cockers after having springer  - now have 2 cockers - a 1 year old ( show type) and a 4 year old (worker) - chalk and cheese but so cheeky._

also necessary to get the ladeeeez on your side - you know Loz Kell and Mzzz Young
ahh. they are gorgeous tho arnt they helen,....spaniels that is !

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Re: How To Botch an Investigation into a Missing Child

Post by HelenMeg on 24.06.14 11:03

@cockerspaniel wrote:
@HelenMeg wrote:
@cockerspaniel wrote:tell the courts you have finally "gone round the pipe" , to win a huge settlement then get your mouthpiece to say you are just fine and never said you wished you could "just push 
a button"

oh and most of all....dont give a toss about anyone else !


ps.  this thread given me a few needed laughs this morning..thank you all.
Yes me too Cocker - ( I have recently become addicted to cockers after having springer  - now have 2 cockers - a 1 year old ( show type) and a 4 year old (worker) - chalk and cheese but so cheeky._

also necessary to get the ladeeeez on your side - you know Loz Kell and Mzzz Young
ahh. they are gorgeous tho arnt they helen,....spaniels that is !
Cocker - they are the best! I'm tempted to DE-rail this thread to discuss the sheer delight-fulness of spaniels but better not!

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Re: How To Botch an Investigation into a Missing Child

Post by kimHager on 24.06.14 11:19

TM...oh boy teehee...
*Have dinner every night and leave your children unsupervised
*Write a checklist on your missing childs notepad
*Do not go out and search for missing child
*Create enough red herrings that the scooby doo gang wouldnt touch it
*When in doubt open that NZ bottle
*blame it on tanner-creche-tractor-white van-gypsy-pedo-man
*confusion is good Gerry said so
*when family comes send them home.
The list goes on and on IMO

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Re: How To Botch an Investigation into a Missing Child

Post by cockerspaniel on 24.06.14 11:21

@HelenMeg wrote:
@cockerspaniel wrote:
@HelenMeg wrote:
@cockerspaniel wrote:tell the courts you have finally "gone round the pipe" , to win a huge settlement then get your mouthpiece to say you are just fine and never said you wished you could "just push 
a button"

oh and most of all....dont give a toss about anyone else !


ps.  this thread given me a few needed laughs this morning..thank you all.
Yes me too Cocker - ( I have recently become addicted to cockers after having springer  - now have 2 cockers - a 1 year old ( show type) and a 4 year old (worker) - chalk and cheese but so cheeky._

also necessary to get the ladeeeez on your side - you know Loz Kell and Mzzz Young
ahh. they are gorgeous tho arnt they helen,....spaniels that is !
Cocker - they are the best! I'm tempted to DE-rail this thread to discuss the sheer delight-fulness of spaniels but better not!
bites tounge and agrees with helen!  thumbsup

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Re: How To Botch an Investigation into a Missing Child

Post by Justformaddie on 09.07.14 18:12

Simple.... Phone mr&mrs..... sarcastic

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Re: How To Botch an Investigation into a Missing Child

Post by Carrry On Doctor on 09.07.14 18:18

@kimHager wrote:TM...oh boy teehee...
*Have dinner every night and leave your children unsupervised
*Write a checklist on your missing childs notepad
*Do not go out and search for missing child
*Create enough red herrings that the scooby doo gang wouldnt touch it
*When in doubt open that NZ bottle
*blame it on tanner-creche-tractor-white van-gypsy-pedo-man
*confusion is good Gerry said so
*when family comes send them home.
The list goes on and on IMO
Say you are happy to take a lie detector test and then say you wont unless you stipulate the questions
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Re: How To Botch an Investigation into a Missing Child

Post by kimHager on 10.07.14 20:14

oh yes almost forgot the most important one ty for reminding me carry on doctor make sure TM are in charge and.deferred to regarding all proceedings criminal and always let director Gerry write you lines for you, anything short of total control errm just wont do 

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Re: How To Botch an Investigation into a Missing Child

Post by Justformaddie on 11.07.14 11:47

Well, here's another confusion.com for me. The very next morning at the police station, km was told of strangers getting into bed with young children, but, she locked that bit of information away from her, because they were assaulted and not stolen, even though she claimed maddie was taken by a paedophile or paedophile group  i don\'t know IMO

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