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The Complete Mystery of Madeleine McCann™
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McCanns in GMTV chat with Lorraine Kelly - Page 2 Mm11

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Post by listener 22.04.10 23:36

Here is one of Lorraines' superb interviews - this one with Gaunty.

(30 seconds of adds first).
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Another sad reminder of the society we live in!
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Wish there was a 'smiley' of someone throwing-up!
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Post by kangdang 23.04.10 0:24

rumour doing the rounds that the McCanns are to PdL for anniversary
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Post by Rainbow 23.04.10 0:42

I am amazed actually that the post has been left to stand as is by the mods.I am sure if it was used by a "pro" to describe Amaral et al it would have disappeared quicker than Lord Lucan!!!
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Post by Judge Mental 23.04.10 1:22

Rainbow wrote:
kangdang wrote:This is a thank you and a reminder that she's still missing." said a source

Actually this comment has really **** me off, there are plently of parents of missing children out there that bleeping beg for this sort of coverage. Take the parents of Andrew Gosden for instance. Who the **** hell do the McCanns think they are - **** hell "as a thank you"...it beggars belief - I'd tell em (McCanns) to stick it up their ****.

ETA - pair of ****.


Personally I find that word very offensive,I am probably an old fuddy duddy but I cant see the need for its use in ANY circumstance.JMO

************************************************************************

I am a fuddy-duddy too. However, we are all grown-ups on here. Children in prep schools use these old Celtic words with more regularity than adults these days. We often see many words or phrases that we may not choose to use ourselves, but we must not become like the McCanns and hinder those who wish to speak out and express their disgust in strong language. We need less Carter Rucking than more of it.

Few areas of the internet will be available to express anything shortly, so enjoy this freedom whilst it is still available to you and permit others to do the same. The time for politeness and pussyfooting in this case is well past its bedtime. The very fact that the Tapas diners have admitted to regularly abandoning so many children under four years old and their obvious relief at having got away with it is indescribably despicable. How dare they flaunt themselves deliberately across our TV sets at every opportunity.

The time to listen to dispassionate people will be when these people are facing the solemnity of the Portuguese courts. The time to express outrage and frustration is now. This is a poignant time in the calendar of this desperately sad but ongoing case, and we will see enough bilge and comfort for the McCanns in the newspapers without us reiterating the same gentle prose day in and day out as we have done for three years.
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Post by Judge Mental 23.04.10 1:29

@ Autumn .................... I felt as if I was actually sat watching them when I read your script there. laugh laugh
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Post by Judge Mental 23.04.10 2:02

This is a most amusing yet quite informative 2005 article on a BBC website. Please move to a more appropriate place if inappropriate.

How to Hide A Body and Avoid Embarassment Until the Authorities Arrive, and What to Do When They Get There

•What is h2g2?

This entry strives to be helpful in the manner described in the title. It assumes 3 things: that there is a body; that you are alone (or there are very few of you) and you need to hide the body in order to avoid embarrassment; and that the authorities are going to arrive and will then need to recover the body and take it away. The origin of the body, including its species, is not addressed. Nor is the guilt or innocence of the person wishing to hide the body. If you have done something wrong, the entry you should be reading is “How to Avoid Capture by the Authorities” or possibly “How to Give Yourself Up to the Authorities,” depending on how badly you feel about what you’ve done. Remember, just by hiding or moving the body, you are violating a cardinal rule issued by crime scene investigators, which is “touch nothing.”

First, don’t panic. You need to assess the situation. Does the body need to be hidden, or is it already well enough out of view? Can the body actually be moved? Do you have to touch it, and what is the safest way to do so? How long until it starts to smell? How long until the authorities arrive? What are the extenuating circumstances?

Does the Body Need Hidden
It may not. For example, if the unfortunate deceased person has landed in a position in which they appear simply to be sleeping, and the authorities will be there shortly, simply drape a blanket over them up to their neck (note that draping it over their head is, pardon the expression, a “dead giveaway”) and shush passersby if they are speaking loudly, then point at the body meaningfully. They will assume you don’t want to awaken the body. This will not work if it is in some way obvious that the body is, in fact, a body; it will most likely, in that case, be perceived as a threat.
This might also work if the body has expired in a seated position that resembles sleep. The blanket will, if draped lightly enough, disguise the lack of respiration.

The body may also have ended up in a location that is out of the way and unlikely to be seen. If that is the case, just leave it there and phone the authorities. If possible, lock the door to the room in which the body lies. This might become difficult if the body is in a high-traffic area, such as a public toilet. But there’s a simple answer for that as well; simply seat the body in a stall, lock the door so that the “occupied” notice is displayed, and crawl under. Stand outside the stall, and occasionally look at your watch and mutter under your breath things like “hurry up!”

However, the cards may have been dealt against you, and you may need to move the body. It is time for action!

Can the Body Actually Be Moved
This is straightforward. It will be immediately obvious if the body can be moved, in most cases. Situations where it cannot will require disguising the body, or covering it from view in some way. REMEMBER: WHEN MOVING A BODY, YOU MAY BE VIOLATING THE LAW. Don’t panic.
You may need to obtain assistance. Be certain you can trust the person assisting you. Remember: friends help you move. Real friends help you move bodies.

Do You Need To Touch It, and Is It Safe to Do So
Times when it is not safe will not always be obvious. If the victim died from electrocution, and they are still in contact with the electrocuting element, you will need to stop the electrical flow before attempting to move the body. If there is a great deal of bodily fluids surrounding the body, you should wear protective clothing. Latex gloves, breathing filters, and a rain poncho will protect you from the worst of these problems.
The body may also rest in an area that is dangerous for other reasons. If you attempt to move the body of a person that is in an area filled with, say, radiation or toxic gas, and you yourself succumb to the effects of that hazard, the body will become someone else’s problem, and so will yours. Be aware of the environment, and don’t panic. You may be fortunate, however, and you may be able to move a carpet, or plank, or other such thing, upon which the body has landed. Simply grasp one end of the carpet or whatever, and drag it along the ground, making sure the body stays on top of it. Failing that, grasp the clothing of the body, and use that to pull it out of view. If the body is nude, you have worse problems than simply needing to hide a body. Seek professional help.

How Long Until It Starts To Smell
This will be modified by the ambient temperature, by the relative humidity, and by how recently the fallen victim has eaten. When possible, cool the room to slow the rate of decay, and help dull olfactory senses. It may be necessary to hide the body in a refrigerated area, or possibly a freezer. You have about two hours to six hours, depending on the variables, until an odor above the normal human scent is noticeable. Every twenty minutes, stop what you’re doing, and ask yourself “can I smell the body?” Don’t let the slowly building odor cause you to get used to it, or someone that isn’t used to it will remind you of the body’s smell in an unpleasant manner. For more information, see “Life / The Natural World / Natural Phenomena / The Processes of Death and Decomposition.”

How Long Until the Authorities Arrive
What you need to do varies with your wait time.
Authorities are present:
Make sure they know where the body is, cooperate with them, and then go have a drink.
1 to 10 minutes:
Consider giving CPR. It will show concern and hopefulness, and may actually do the victim some good. This will not work in some cases, depending on how obviously dead the body is. Failing that, just stand there and act concerned, saying “When will those blasted authorities arrive?”
11 to 30 minutes:
This is the window in which it may become necessary to actually move the body. However, the first preference is to simply cover it. For example: if you are in a restaurant, and wish to avoid disturbing the other guests, you may be able to place a table or two over the body, drape a cloth over the table that goes nearly to the floor, and place a “reserved” sign on it. Settings will reinforce the charade. If someone blusters in and says “Ah! I see my table is ready!” in an effort to get seated right away, let them. The shock they receive will be well deserved, and you may be able to blame it on them.
30 minutes to 2 hours:
If the body is in an obvious location (your back-yard pool, your driveway, hanging outside your door, on top of your automobile, the middle of a dance floor, the aquarium), it is almost definitely going to need to be moved. The trick is in doing so without arousing suspicion. If you wait too long, rigor mortis will set in, and the result will be a double-edged sword: it will become easier to manipulate, but harder to get around corners. If you know early enough that it will be necessary to move the body, then do it as soon as possible. If there are witnesses, as is likely if the body needs to be moved, consider the tried-and-true method of pretending the body is actually not dead, but drunk. If there are no witnesses, but people are going to arrive shortly, simply move the body in the most safely rapid manner possible.
More than 2 hours:
Evaluate if you really need to be there. Does anyone know you were there? Can you make an anonymous tip? Is your presence actually necessary? If it isn’t, go have a drink.
If, however, it is necessary that you remain in the area, get used to the idea you’re going to have a body lying around for a bit. Hide it, if necessary, in accordance with the 30 minutes to 2 hours time window, but if not necessary, don’t open yourself up to prosecution by needlessly disturbing the corpse. Do not play games with the body, nor should you take humorous photographs of people with the body, no matter how strong the temptation to do so gets. Remember, it may be a body now, but it was once someone’s child. Be dignified and respectful, unless the photograph will be really, really funny.

Extenuating Circumstances: Dos and Don’ts
Do:
-Reassure any witnesses of your innocence, and that the authorities are on their way.
-If possible, photograph the body in situ, before moving it or anything around it, from various angles. If it is not possible, write down very careful and detailed notes before moving anything. A quick sketch is helpful.
-Take the names and addresses of all persons witnessing the event. At best, this will help authorities with investigations. At worst, it gives you something to do that looks constructive and reassuring, while simultaneously providing you with blackmail.
-Make sure the authorities can find and recover it again later, if the body must and can be hidden,. Cooperate with the authorities as much as possible.
-Seek counseling afterward, if needed. If not, perhaps you are qualified to give counseling.

Don’t:
-Panic.
-Alter any composition of the body. Dismemberment, incineration, or any other action that will stymie the coroner’s art should not be done under any circumstances. At best, it makes it harder to determine the cause of death. At worst, it is like holding up a large sign to the authorities in flashing red neon that says “I done it.”
-Rifle through the deceased’s pockets or belongings, even if they owed you money. The debt may still be paid later, if it was significantly large enough, by the deceased’s survivors, and if the debt was small, it’s not worth going through a dead person’s pockets for it (unless you know right where it is, and it was a lot of money).
-Brag about it later.
-Blame others for it. There will be sufficient time for finger-pointing and buck-passing later.
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Post by kangdang 23.04.10 12:32

Rainbow wrote:I am amazed actually that the post has been left to stand as is by the mods.I am sure if it was used by a "pro" to describe Amaral et al it would have disappeared quicker than Lord Lucan!!!

But would you have complained so? Get over it ffs.
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Post by kangdang 23.04.10 12:34

@ the Judge

excellent article, specially liked this bit

Can the Body Actually Be Moved
This is straightforward. It will be immediately obvious if the body can be moved, in most cases. Situations where it cannot will require disguising the body, or covering it from view in some way. REMEMBER: WHEN MOVING A BODY, YOU MAY BE VIOLATING THE LAW. Don’t panic.
You may need to obtain assistance. Be certain you can trust the person assisting you. Remember: friends help you move. Real friends help you move bodies.
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Post by Rainbow 23.04.10 12:50

kangdang wrote:
Rainbow wrote:I am amazed actually that the post has been left to stand as is by the mods.I am sure if it was used by a "pro" to describe Amaral et al it would have disappeared quicker than Lord Lucan!!!

But would you have complained so? Get over it ffs.


Yes,I would and there is no nothing to get over,just expressing my opinion.
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Post by kangdang 23.04.10 12:56

No your not, your trying to enforce your opinion.
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Post by Rainbow 23.04.10 13:46

How so? 🇪🇭 I dont think I have said you shouldnt say it,just expressed my disgust at the use of it.Anyway if you want to use it thats up to you.....moving on>>>
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Post by Judge Mental 23.04.10 22:06

Rainbow wrote:How so? 🇪🇭 I dont think I have said you shouldnt say it,just expressed my disgust at the use of it.Anyway if you want to use it thats up to you.....moving on>>>

***********************************************************

I would advise avoiding Chaucer, Beckett, Lawrence and Shakespeare at all costs. They are known to have used it directly or slipped it in whenever they could.
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Post by Judge Mental 23.04.10 22:12

kangdang wrote:@ the Judge

excellent article, specially liked this bit

Can the Body Actually Be Moved
This is straightforward. It will be immediately obvious if the body can be moved, in most cases. Situations where it cannot will require disguising the body, or covering it from view in some way. REMEMBER: WHEN MOVING A BODY, YOU MAY BE VIOLATING THE LAW. Don’t panic.
You may need to obtain assistance. Be certain you can trust the person assisting you. Remember: friends help you move. Real friends help you move bodies.

***********************************************************************************

Amongst so many other areas of this article, one was tempted to embolden the type here, but decided to leave it to the reader to interpret at their leisure. Lest one be accused of being offensive or perhaps appearing to draw any similarities with any ongoing cases currently in the public eye. big grin
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Post by kangdang 23.04.10 22:13

i have no idea to which case you are referring Judge Wink
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Post by Judge Mental 23.04.10 22:20

big grin
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Post by kangdang 23.04.10 22:21

by jove that's an wicked grin you have there
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Post by Autumn 23.04.10 23:57

listener wrote:Here is one of Lorraines' superb interviews - this one with Gaunty.

(30 seconds of adds first).
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Another sad reminder of the society we live in!
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Wish there was a 'smiley' of someone throwing-up!

I thought Gaunty fought his corner very well clapping1
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Post by twinkle 24.04.10 0:15

I don't actually think this interview is such a bad thing. At least it keeps her profile high.
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Post by kary 24.04.10 0:17

twinkle wrote:At least it keeps her profile high.

What profile? Whose profile?
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Post by listener 24.04.10 0:18

Autumn wrote:
listener wrote:Here is one of Lorraines' superb interviews - this one with Gaunty.

(30 seconds of adds first).
[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]


Another sad reminder of the society we live in!
lalala
Wish there was a 'smiley' of someone throwing-up!

I thought Gaunty fought his corner very well clapping1

He did - but it wasn't a particurarly hard contest for him though laugh
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Post by twinkle 24.04.10 0:23

kary wrote:
twinkle wrote:At least it keeps her profile high.

What profile? Whose profile?

Are you making an attempt at humour or do you really not know?
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Post by kangdang 24.04.10 0:31

Lorraine Kelly's profile of course...she landed herself a star studded interview
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Post by kary 24.04.10 0:33

twinkle wrote:
kary wrote:
twinkle wrote:At least it keeps her profile high.

What profile? Whose profile?

Are you making an attempt at humour or do you really not know?

You obviously don't know lol! rotfl rotfl
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Post by twinkle 24.04.10 0:39

Sorry if I have missed the joke. I was refering to Maddie's profile.........remember her?
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Post by kary 24.04.10 0:58

What has Maddie's profile got to do with Lorraine Kelly??
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Post by Autumn 24.04.10 2:02

twinkle wrote:I don't actually think this interview is such a bad thing. At least it keeps her profile high.

Which is more than can be said for her saggy chest she's so keen on exhibiting to the public :puke:
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Post by Autumn 24.04.10 3:37

LK - Now then, since the break we'v had simply loooaaaaads of calls from viewers wanting to know what they should do if they find an abductor in their holiday apartment. Soooooo, Kate, what would your advice be to our lovely viewers, what should we all do?

Kate - erm that's a tricky one Lorraine (nervous laugh) Gerry and I sort of had a feeling something like that would happen so we were kinda prepared erm .......

Gerry - I would stroooongly advise everyone to place orders now for our latest Holdiday Abductor Travel Packs, available from our online shop.

LK - well I wouldn't be without mine, Gerry, I take it everywere I go. I can't tell you how useul the fake tits and black front bottom wig are. Weeeell worth the money, sooooooo make sure you get your orders in fast.

Kate - As you know, Lorraine, there is a little innocent girl missing and erm these travel packs could make all the difference.

LK - You are sooooo right. I particularly like the weeeeee chinese lantern and party poppers, veeeerrrrry goood.

Sooo don't forget, as from next week, Gerry and Kate will be on the GMTV Sofa.

Gerry - Sofa? (coughing fit and strange smirk).....did someone say sofa?...
(beads of sweat on forehead as hand strays towards ear) There is aaaaabsolutely nooooooo eeeeeevidennnnnce that the dogs alerted to............(kate tightens her grip on Gerry's crotch and fixes him with an angry glare)
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Post by Autumn 24.04.10 12:42

Lorrain Kelly - The Sun 24th April 2010

Quote:
It's hard to believe it is almost three years since Madeleine McCann vanished and impossible to imagine the agony her parents still endure.

Next week, I will be talking to Kate and Gerry about life without their daughter.

Both of them are still hopeful of finding her and are more determined than ever to keep Madeleine's name in the public eye.

This couple have not only had to deal with the agony of Madeleine's disappearance every single minute of every day, but they have also been subjected to vicious and ill-informed abuse.

They have tried to do everything in their power to find their child, but they have had the kind of vitriol heaped on their heads usually reserved for hardcore politicians or dodgy politicians.

Shamefully, they have even been accused of murdering their own child.

Of course they shouldn't have left Madeleine and the twins alone, but to suggest that they deserved to have their daughter abducted is disgraceful.

Three years down the line, a little girl is still missing and all her parents want is to have her back.

Surely they deserve our support and our deepest sympathy.

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ETA In the big picture, Lorraine Kelly's opinions are no importance to this case. She is just another fading celeb exploiting Madeleine's disappearance for her own ends which, in itself, is shameful. She knows full well her days are numbered on the Breakfast TV Sofa and, by making deliberativly provocative comments prior to her cosy chat with the McCanns, she is hoping to boost ratings and secure her well paid job with GMTV for maybe another year.
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Post by Jill Havern 24.04.10 13:40

Who the heck has ever suggested they deserved to have their daughter abducted?

If anything they deserved to have their passports and wallets pinched if they left the door unlocked but, never in a million years, did they deserve to have Maddie 'abducted'.

What they do deserve is to be suitably punished - the same as anyone else would be - for leaving Maddie and her siblings alone to the fate that Maddie clearly received.

That Lorraine Kelly is a right tit.

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"Be careful who you let on to your ship,
because some people will sink the whole ship 
just because they can't be the Captain."
Jill Havern
Jill Havern
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Captain, Chief Faffer, Forum Owner

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McCanns in GMTV chat with Lorraine Kelly - Page 2 Empty Re: McCanns in GMTV chat with Lorraine Kelly

Post by Autumn 24.04.10 13:55

I agree Jill. Looks like Lorraine is getting her tits sorted out in good time before her chat with Gerry =)
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Autumn

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