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PARENTS: A quick survey about age-appropriateness

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PARENTS: A quick survey about age-appropriateness

Post by Guest on 16.07.13 14:43

There are lots of comments and concerns about Madeleine's likes and dislikes but we don't have a definitive outline of what parents would consider appropriate.


So, if you have a child that was born this millenium:


1. What is/was your child's favourite album at the age of 3 or 4?


2. At what age did he/she develop an interest in Harry Potter?


3. At what age was your child/will your child be allowed to watch Doctor Who?



My answers:

1. What is/was your child's favourite album and/or song at the age of 3 or 4?


Favourite album - Toonage by the Cartoons

Favourite song - Witch Doctor (I've linked to the video so that you can see why almost a decade later it is still engraved on my brain)daft 




2. At what age did he/she develop an interest in Harry Potter?


He never has but his friends started reading the first book around eight or nine years old.





3. At what age was your child/will your child be allowed to watch Doctor Who?

For his sixth birthday, one of my son's friends wanted all Doctor Who stuff and begged to be allowed to watch it. He saw one episode and had screaming nightmares so my son and the rest of the gang had to wait until they were about 8 (when Matt Smith started) before they were allowed to watch.


Now I've put it down in black and white, it looks to me like Kate has taken her cues as to what Madeleine would like from an eight year old boy.
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Re: PARENTS: A quick survey about age-appropriateness

Post by Julchen on 16.07.13 18:13

1. What is/was your child's favourite album at the age of 3 or 4?

Best of Jacques Offenbach (favourite piece: CanCan, hopping around the living room on mini space balls)


2. At what age did he/she develop an interest in Harry Potter?

Never ever will as long as I am around! Don't agree with this sort of  s....


3. At what age was your child/will your child be allowed to watch Doctor Who?

 Minimum 14+

BTW: We haven't got a TV, we don't need one. We rather use the time to be with the kids, do things together, teach them. Quite unusual for the UK, but then again we home school the kids.
And would never have gone to a restaurant without them....


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Re: PARENTS: A quick survey about age-appropriateness

Post by Guest on 16.07.13 20:00

I have no children, but a much younger sister, who at the time would be hiding behind the sofa when Dr . Who was on. Put her head up to see what was happening and then dive down when it was getting too scary. She had nightmares too. I guess she was 9-10 then ...
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Re: PARENTS: A quick survey about age-appropriateness

Post by plebgate on 16.07.13 20:26

Pussy Cat Dolls

Dr. Who

Harry Potter


All totally INapprorpiate imo for a child of 3 years of age.

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Re: PARENTS: A quick survey about age-appropriateness

Post by PeterMac on 16.07.13 20:49

@plebgate wrote:Pussy Cat Dolls
Dr.  Who
Harry Potter
All totally Inappropriate imo for a child of 3 years of age.

Is it fact, or an complete invention to show that Madeleine was intellectually so advanced that she would cope with all this stuff,( And have a favourite episode of Dr Who, - there are 700 +)

She also dives into freezing water without ill effect,when the mother finds it too cold, so we assume can swim. We know that at age 3 she can play tennis competently and probably can sail
Do we actually believe any of it ?
Or is it more likely that this is a Disney version to cover up the fact that as an IVF child with a physical defect, she may have had other problems too, requiring medication, sedation, and the rest. She had "colic" for many months, was a "Screamer" and did not settle at night. All of that is attested to.

The bed time story was about elephants and the song about clapping hands. That may be closer to the truth. for a 3 year old.

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Re: PARENTS: A quick survey about age-appropriateness

Post by Guest on 16.07.13 20:57

I find it hard to accept that most people would be happy to have their three-year-old children singing lyrics like "don't you wish your girlfriend was hot like me?".

I'm having to think back 30 years to when my son was that age. He liked colourful characters like Adam Ant and Captain Sensible. No Harry Potter then of course. Anything to do with dinosaurs would keep him amused and he had stories on tape about them.

I have to admit that he did like Doctor Who though and still does to this day!

Kate was I think trying to impress upon us her idea of normal childhood interests but I think that, as with virtually everything she says, it's just made up.
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Re: PARENTS: A quick survey about age-appropriateness

Post by suzyjohnson on 16.07.13 23:26

@PeterMac wrote:
The bed time story was about elephants and the song about clapping hands.   That may be closer to the truth. for a 3 year old.

 ........ a 3 year old with a babysitting job.

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Re: PARENTS: A quick survey about age-appropriateness

Post by suzyjohnson on 16.07.13 23:46

No Fate Worse Than De'Ath wrote:I find it hard to accept that most people would be happy to have their three-year-old children singing lyrics like "don't you wish your girlfriend was hot like me?".

I'm having to think back 30 years to when my son was that age. He liked colourful characters like Adam Ant and Captain Sensible. No Harry Potter then of course. Anything to do with dinosaurs would keep him amused and he had stories on tape about them.

I know what you mean NFWTD. I do think 30 years ago was very different though, no internet, no mobile phones, most people didn't have video recorders. There is so much more access to information, in this case pop music, now. Many children have televisions in their bedrooms, that's something that wasn't even considered 30 years ago. I'm not saying a 3 year old would, but older children might have, they can watch music videos all day and all night. In addition they have ipods and video games. They copy the dances and songs and the younger ones learn from them if they don't hear it themselves. It's just the way it is now unfortunately.

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Re: PARENTS: A quick survey about age-appropriateness

Post by plebgate on 17.07.13 8:28

Yes you are right about things having moved on SuzyJ, but Maddie was practising the song along with ther mother apparently. I know I would not ever sing a song like that with a 3 year old child.

Don't you wish your girlfriend was hot like me, don't cha. I deffo would not sing that with a 3 year old.

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Re: PARENTS: A quick survey about age-appropriateness

Post by suzyjohnson on 17.07.13 8:55

@plebgate wrote:Yes you are right about things having moved on SuzyJ, but Maddie was practising the song along  with ther mother apparently.   I know I would not ever sing a song like that with a 3 year old child.

Don't you wish your girlfriend was hot like me, don't cha.   I deffo would not sing that with a 3 year old.

No, I wouldn't either

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Re: PARENTS: A quick survey about age-appropriateness

Post by Guest on 17.07.13 9:03

According to the book - and we all believe what's in there, don't we - Madeleine and an unnamed friend were in the habit of singing these songs in the back of the car.

I know that my own experience with a youngster is many years ago now but it's hard for me to imagine a  scenario where my son would have been exposed to such unsuitable songs.

I certainly wouldn't have played them in his hearing and, if I found that he was learning them at someone else's house, I would have had something to say to that person.

If the story is true (and that's a big IF), what sort of company was Madeleine allowed to keep?
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Re: PARENTS: A quick survey about age-appropriateness

Post by Lostfridge on 17.07.13 9:07

Poe wrote:There are lots of comments and concerns about Madeleine's likes and dislikes but we don't have a definitive outline of what parents would consider appropriate.


So, if you have a child that was born this millenium:


1. What is/was your child's favourite album at the age of 3 or 4?
Kayne West and Mika!  He listend to Radio in Car a lot, cant help what he likes! big grin 


2. At what age did he/she develop an interest in Harry Potter?
Oldest was about 3 when he first watched Harry Potter, but loves Starwars and Ironman/Avengers etc movies more!

3. At what age was your child/will your child be allowed to watch Doctor Who?
At 6 hes already watched it and thinks its rubbish! (I agree) :)


I still don't quite get the point of this exercise!!. Are these questions and answers somehow supposed to reflect bad parenting if we let our kids watch Doctor Who?. complete nonsense.
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Re: PARENTS: A quick survey about age-appropriateness

Post by suzyjohnson on 17.07.13 9:08

It sounds as though KM herself had a CD of Pussycat Dolls in the car, or maybe the car radio

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Re: PARENTS: A quick survey about age-appropriateness

Post by Lostfridge on 17.07.13 9:13

@suzyjohnson wrote:It sounds as though KM herself had a CD of Pussycat Dolls in the car, or maybe the car radio

Ohh no! better get her in for questioning now then!! .....shame on you 
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Re: PARENTS: A quick survey about age-appropriateness

Post by Guest on 17.07.13 9:15

In that case, the saintly one needs a metaphorical kick up the rear for not choosing something more suitable!
 
Lostfridge, I think that the topic is relevant because it suggests that the stories Kate tells about the things that Madeleine supposedly liked are just plain hogwash.
 
How I wish that she would be hauled in for questioning, even if only for alleged fraud.
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Re: PARENTS: A quick survey about age-appropriateness

Post by suzyjohnson on 17.07.13 9:35

I think KM is one of those parents who doesn't think too much about what would be age appropriate for a child. Certainly it wasn't age appropriate for the McCanns to go out every evening leaving them unattended.

I have never really doubted that she cares about her children but then again, things like putting them first or understanding their needs are another matter entirely.

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Re: PARENTS: A quick survey about age-appropriateness

Post by Guest on 17.07.13 10:34

Firstly I apologise unreservedly to Lostfridge and anyone else who finds this thread judgemental. That wasn't my intention.


There are many different people on this forum - grandparents, parents & the childless and each one of us has a differing opinion on what is acceptable for a three year old.


As a mother, I don't have a good role model (my mother is a narcissist and I spent my entire childhood trying not to upset her) but we are very lucky in that we live in a village with a close knit community centered round the village school. In many ways we live in a time warp - 7 year olds still believe in Santa, 10 year olds get their first mobile phone and from 10 years onwards they are free to roam. The issue of tvs in bedrooms has only arisen for my son's age group now they are in the "big school" and mixing with kids from other areas.

My perspective of what is acceptable for a three year old is skewed because I am determined not to become my mother and by the protective bubble where we live. So, I asked these questions because I am genuinely interested in what other parents think.

I know that most mothers fly by the seat of their pants. They guess, second guess and tie themselves in knots over the smallest ...well everything.  Your job as a mother is to ensure that your child is happy, well adjusted, as healthy as possible and alive. If you can do that, I congratulate you for being a good mother. I will not judge you or your decisions. roses
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Re: PARENTS: A quick survey about age-appropriateness

Post by annemab on 17.07.13 22:47

My daughter is nearly 3 and a half. She loves Toy Story and wants to be a dinosaur when she grows up. She has nightmares, so there is no way I would let get watch Dr who until she is much older - what age exactly I don't know, as it will depend on how she goes, I will have to make a judgement, and probably get it wrong!

Harry Potter, I can imagine she might be ready for the earlier less dark books in 2 or 3 years but I will read then (again!) First to make sure they're not too scary.

Her favourite album is cbeebies! I rarely get chance to listen to more adult music these days, but if I was,listening to the pussycat dolls and noticed her listening too I would perhaps switch it off, and certainly if she started singing along!! That's really not right for a 3 year pjs IMO. Baa Baa black sheep is more like it.

It does sound,to me like KM was talking about a much older child, but I've no idea why.


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Re: PARENTS: A quick survey about age-appropriateness

Post by Guest on 18.07.13 9:11

@annemab wrote:My daughter is nearly 3 and a half. She loves Toy Story and wants to be a dinosaur when she grows up. She has nightmares, so there is no way I would let get watch Dr who until she is much older - what age exactly I don't know, as it will depend on how she goes, I will have to make a judgement, and probably get it wrong!

Harry Potter, I can imagine she might be ready for the earlier less dark books in 2 or 3 years but I will read then (again!) First to make sure they're not too scary.

Her favourite album is cbeebies! I rarely get chance to listen to more adult music these days, but if I was,listening to the pussycat dolls and noticed her listening too I would perhaps switch it off, and certainly if she started singing along!! That's really not right for a 3 year pjs IMO.  Baa Baa black sheep is more like it.

It does sound,to me like KM was talking about a much older child, but I've no idea why.


Oh thank you annemab. roses 

There is something just not right about Kate's descriptions of Madeleine but I couldn't put my finger on exactly what was wrong until I read your post and the penny dropped.

If you read this thread where parents have answered my questions, we have all added little anecdotes that personalise our answers. The McCanns don't do anecdotes about Madeleine. Strangely, they do anecdotes about Sean (Sean, in particular, talks about having an aeroplane and flying all over the ... and when he gets him he's going to rescue her and take his sword out) but not Amelie.

The other thing that is missing is the obsession. The little girl who lives two doors down from us is a fairy. My son loved Thomas the Tank Engine and wanted to be a steam train when he grew up. His best friend had speech problems so he couldn't string a coherent sentence together but he could pronounce dinosaur names clearly and easily. What did Madeleine obsess about? 

Whoever Kate is describing, it certainly isn't a three going on four year old.
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Re: PARENTS: A quick survey about age-appropriateness

Post by Guest on 18.07.13 9:24

Maybe Kate wanted us to believe that Madeleine was so advanced for her age that there was no problem in leaving her unattended.
 
Someone has recently mentioned the home video of all three children singing "If you're happy and you know it clap your hands".
 
This is how I like to think of Madeleine, not plastered with make-up as in other images and / or (according to her mother but hopefully a figment of her imagination) singing other songs far less appropriate for her age.
 
Perhaps Madeleine spent most of her time elsewhere (hence Kate not really knowing much about her) and that in my view would definitely have been a blessing in view of the latter's shortcomings.
 
Poe: my son too was obsessed with dinosaurs and had a reading and speech problem. Yet somehow he was able to tell me that two of the pictures in his favourite book about them had the captions naming and describing them the wrong way round.
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Re: PARENTS: A quick survey about age-appropriateness

Post by Guest on 18.07.13 9:45

No Fate Worse Than De'Ath wrote:
 
Perhaps Madeleine spent most of her time elsewhere (hence Kate not really knowing much about her) and that in my view would definitely have been a blessing in view of the latter's shortcomings.
 

It's crystal clear that Kate didn't know Madeleine at all. 

If someone else looked after Madeleine and that someone else loved her so much that they wanted to adopt her (which explains one of the 48 questions), they must be devastated.
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Re: PARENTS: A quick survey about age-appropriateness

Post by aquila on 18.07.13 9:52

My Son aged three liked dinosaurs too. We had a huge cheese plant (the triffid we called it) and that was his jungle. He used to tie cotton thread to the figurines and hang them off the cheese plant.

His favourite book was The BFG by Roald Dahl plus a whole host of fairytales (except Brothers Grimm). I used to love bedtime. I got to read him a story (putting on different accents for the characters - Inspector Clouseau and the Swedish Chef were favourites) and then sing him a set routine of lullaby songs to calm him down after the laughter.

He had a toy glove puppet we called Ronnie the Reckless Rhino. We kept in Ronnie in the car.

His favourite songs were nursery rhymes and lullabies that my Mother sang to me.

His Grandfather (my Dad) used to tell him really tall stories to get him to eat. Smoked haddock was Japanese fish that Granddad had harpooned in shark infested waters that morning. Beef was buffalo that Granddad had taken by lasso. All vegetables came from the broad bean forests of the Gower where Granddad fought off wolves to pick them.  My Dad was a keen sea fisherman, had an air rifle and a Land Rover. What was there not to believe!

Thankfully my Son has turned out a well balanced man with a good apetite. big grin
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Re: PARENTS: A quick survey about age-appropriateness

Post by suzyjohnson on 18.07.13 10:58

No Fate Worse Than De'Ath wrote:Maybe Kate wanted us to believe that Madeleine was so advanced for her age that there was no problem in leaving her unattended.
 
Perhaps Madeleine spent most of her time elsewhere (hence Kate not really knowing much about her) ............

 NFWTD, I think you could be right on both these points. Certainly if the holiday is anything to go by, she hardly saw her at all.

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Re: PARENTS: A quick survey about age-appropriateness

Post by aquila on 18.07.13 11:06

@suzyjohnson wrote:
No Fate Worse Than De'Ath wrote:Maybe Kate wanted us to believe that Madeleine was so advanced for her age that there was no problem in leaving her unattended.
 
Perhaps Madeleine spent most of her time elsewhere (hence Kate not really knowing much about her) ............

 NFWTD, I think you could be right on both these points. Certainly if the holiday is anything to go by, she hardly saw her at all.

There was also a nanny in the UK and the relatives arriving to help when Gerry was on call at weekends. There was also the Christmas that Madeleine spent with relatives.

After Madeleine's disappearance the McCanns were hardly without a friend or a relative alongside them to help out (that's natural) but Kate makes a big thing of having to stop a meeting to collect the twins from the creche as there was no-one else available. I find that very difficult to believe.
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Re: PARENTS: A quick survey about age-appropriateness

Post by suzyjohnson on 18.07.13 11:34

@aquila wrote:
@suzyjohnson wrote:
No Fate Worse Than De'Ath wrote:Maybe Kate wanted us to believe that Madeleine was so advanced for her age that there was no problem in leaving her unattended.
 
Perhaps Madeleine spent most of her time elsewhere (hence Kate not really knowing much about her) ............

 NFWTD, I think you could be right on both these points. Certainly if the holiday is anything to go by, she hardly saw her at all.

There was also a nanny in the UK and the relatives arriving to help when Gerry was on call at weekends. There was also the Christmas that Madeleine spent with relatives.

After Madeleine's disappearance the McCanns were hardly without a friend or a relative alongside them to help out (that's natural) but Kate makes a big thing of having to stop a meeting to collect the twins from the creche as there was no-one else available. I find that very difficult to believe.

 Apparently, the same day, they had to phone round because there wasn't anyone to make the twins lunch!!

Really like your stories above by the way Aquila, I bet your son was never bored :)

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