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Newsbiscuit spoof article

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Newsbiscuit spoof article

Post by rustyjames on 22.02.14 8:35


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Re: Newsbiscuit spoof article

Post by rustyjames on 22.02.14 8:38


  • Madeleine McCann missing from front page of Express

Concerns have been raised over the absence of missing child Madeleine McCann from the headlines of the Daily Express. She has now not been seen for more than two days and observers are beginning to worry. One reader said, ‘You just get so used to her being around. We’ve seen her every morning over these last few years and she’s become like one of the family. I feel like we should organise a search party.’
McCann was reported missing when a concerned reader noted that her daily dose of Madeleine news has been replaced by the story ‘Romanians eat Queen’s Swans’, with a poll appended at the bottom of the page on the topic, ‘Should Romanians be allowed to eat the Queen’s Swans?’ She had previously lived for several years in the Express front page headlines, inhabiting stories such as ‘Madeleine’s lost teddy provides link to Bulgarians’ and ‘Maddy “seized by gypsies with ringlets and circular earrings” lead’.
In the past, other popular figures have vanished without trace from the front page of the Express for literally days at a time. However, they have usually made a welcome reappearance fairly quickly after a frantic search for asinine and trivial stories which could be used as a safe haven for them. This occurred most notably with Princess Diana, who recently returned with open arms to the Express front page in the story, ‘Diana’s Secret Corn Plasters – The Shocking Truth’. When asked for a quote, an Express spokesman said, ‘We miss her too, but we’ve no doubt that she’ll be back soon – we’ve got a bet on about how long we can keep a story going with no news content in it whatsoever and we’ll be damned if it’s going to fall before seven years is up.’

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Re: Newsbiscuit spoof article

Post by tigger on 22.02.14 8:47

Thank you!  big grin  Good to know were not alone.....

____________________
Lasciate ogni speranza, voi ch'entrate.

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Re: Newsbiscuit spoof article

Post by rustyjames on 22.02.14 9:08


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Re: Newsbiscuit spoof article

Post by Guest on 22.02.14 9:21

@tigger wrote:Thank you!   big grin   Good to know were not alone.....

It's family occasions when I most miss her not being on the front page of the Express.

Reading "Now Crazy Brussels Eurocrats want to ban YOUR Statins!" just isn't the same.

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Re: Newsbiscuit spoof article

Post by bobbin on 22.02.14 9:55

More from UK News

    Druids working round the clock to restore ley lines
    Reunited this Christmas: identical twin toys, separated since the factory
   ‘I hate Christmas, it’s so expensive,’ says woman queuing outside Next at 5am
   Community accused of exploiting miser’s breakdown
    Drugs mules ‘infiltrating nativity plays’
    Iain Duncan Smith to host primetime TV immigration quiz show
   Full archive for 'UK News' »

News In Brief
Somerset to be frozen for curling rinks
Creepy guy in gym ‘just watching’ for 35th straight minute
Channel 5 immigration debate ends in consensus
Birth of ‘rare’ West African giraffe excites Danish lions
Sinkhole opens up in Katie Hopkins face
Scotland to adopt the Peso
Fiery globe seen in skies – call for virgins to appease gods
Abba beards used as tax dodge
Elephant in the room died of ‘loneliness and neglect’
Ironman triathlete admits 24-hour TV presenting marathon was ‘Really hard’

What a brilliant way to start the day......laughing..... I just love cynical/satirical humour....thanks for posting this all up.
rustyjames  big grin

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Re: Newsbiscuit spoof article

Post by jeanmonroe on 22.02.14 10:31

Don't worry folks!

In the words of 'our' Arnie: "SHE'LL BE BACK!"

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Re: Newsbiscuit spoof article

Post by Jemmied_Shatter on 10.03.14 13:53

@jeanmonroe wrote:Don't worry folks!

In the words of 'our' Arnie: "SHE'LL BE BACK!"
Kate's next.  bomb 

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Re: Newsbiscuit spoof article

Post by whatliesbehindthesofa on 10.03.14 13:58

@Jemmied_Shatter wrote:
@jeanmonroe wrote:Don't worry folks!

In the words of 'our' Arnie: "SHE'LL BE BACK!"
Kate's next.  bomb 

Your avatar ... would much prefer a nice puppy or some pretty flowers! ;-)

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Re: Newsbiscuit spoof article

Post by TMH on 10.03.14 15:59

@whatliesbehindthesofa wrote:
@Jemmied_Shatter wrote:
@jeanmonroe wrote:Don't worry folks!

In the words of 'our' Arnie: "SHE'LL BE BACK!"
Kate's next.  bomb 

Your avatar ... would much prefer a nice puppy or some pretty flowers! ;-)
I agree! That pic is scarey and revolting

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