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Triangular-shaped flapjacks can hurt you more than square-shaped flapjacks

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Triangular-shaped flapjacks can hurt you more than square-shaped flapjacks

Post by Tony Bennett on 25.03.13 22:41


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Re: Triangular-shaped flapjacks can hurt you more than square-shaped flapjacks

Post by jd on 25.03.13 23:35

In another school....

Pupil was allowed to cut himself with razor blades at special school

TODAY’S lesson is self-harm. At Unsted Park School, Godalming, Surrey, the teachers, reportedly, have allowed a pupil with a history of self-harm controlled access to razor blades. Not to worry, though, because the blades were sterilised. Safety first, readers.

Principal Steve Dempsey and headteacher Laura Blair face allegations of unacceptable professional conduct.

What do we know of the school? It’s run by the Priory Group, the people most famous for their treatment of addictions.

The school teaches: Imaginative and flexible thinking

Nick Edmondson writes:

According to the controlled self-harm procedure, handed out to staff but aborted after just six days, the pupil would be escorted to a bathroom and allowed to carry out self-harm in a “safe and controlled manner”. Teachers would wait outside the bathroom while the pupil was inside, checking on them every two minutes. The wounds would then be dressed and cleaned by staff.

Imaginative and flexible. You betcha.!!

http://www.anorak.co.uk/352179/news/pupil-was-allowed-to-cut-himself-with-razor-blades-at-special-school.html/

You just can't write this stuff...what is this country really about

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Re: Triangular-shaped flapjacks can hurt you more than square-shaped flapjacks

Post by tigger on 26.03.13 6:15


I've had a good long think about this and consulted some of my more scientific friends and we have come up with a solution after an all night session which included empirical testing procedures:

Floppy Flapjacks are the answer!
FFs thrown from a distance of up to ten feet caused a temporary reddening of the skin but did not penetrate the outer dermal layers.

FFs will be highly beneficial to the community and the economy:
Few or no admissions to hospital or use of A&E facilities
Energy saving in baking the Flapjacks for no more than two minutes on a low heat (Gas 2)


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Re: Triangular-shaped flapjacks can hurt you more than square-shaped flapjacks

Post by Smokeandmirrors on 26.03.13 6:33


If I'd have cooked a triangular flapjack (being as far from Nigella in the kitchen as it's possible to be) it could be used to stab a person to death!! Perhaps they need a new school cook.

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Re: Triangular-shaped flapjacks can hurt you more than square-shaped flapjacks

Post by plebgate on 27.03.13 10:46

The health and safety man is right imo.;

Discipline or the lack of it is at the heart of this stupid decision.

Why not only serve round chips (fritters) as there is every likelihood that if a thin and crispy chip is thrown it could pierce a childs eyeball. Where will it all end.?


Absolute nonsense.

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Re: Triangular-shaped flapjacks can hurt you more than square-shaped flapjacks

Post by Tony Bennett on 27.03.13 10:59

@plebgate wrote:Where will it all end?
Welcome to 'asylum Britain'. In more senses than one!

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Daft and dafter: The top ten barmy elf 'n' safety diktats
By Daniel Martin
UPDATED:
14:07, 24 August 2011

Comments (190)
Their decisions to stop what most regard as harmless fun have annoyed and baffled the public in equal measure.

These, however, are the cream of health and safety killjoys.

A list of the top ten most infuriating bans by Britain’s busybodies has been released.





  • Too risky: Officials ruled that sack races on school sports days should be banned because competitors could fall and hurt themselves (Library photo)

Among the daft decisions was one to stop dodgem cars bumping into each other at Butlins holiday parks.

The top ten also included stopping daytrippers from flying kites on beaches and banning sack races on sport days.


Even the Royal British Legion made the list for not giving out pins to attach poppies, lest supporters prick themselves.

Wimbledon bosses featured for barring fans from watching tennis on Murray Mount after rain, in case they slipped.

The list was released by the Health and Safety Executive, which said too many middle managers were taking it upon themselves to ban low-risk activities. Many of the cases uncovered in the last year were first highlighted by the Daily Mail.

Ministers have ordered a wide-ranging review and pledged to consolidate or simplify the law.


Epidemic of excuses: Chris Grayling

Employment minister Chris Grayling, whose brief covers the issue, said: ‘We have seen an epidemic of excuses wrongly citing health and safety to prevent pretty harmless things with only very minor risks attached. This has to stop. Health and safety laws should not hamper everyday activities.

‘These regulations are intended to save lives, not stop them.’

In reality, health and safety legislation is mostly aimed at the workplace, dealing with risks such as unguarded machinery.

Butlins banned bumping on dodgems at its resorts at Skegness, Minehead and Bognor Regis in April over fears of being sued, despite complaints it made the rides boring. At the time, Jeremy Pardey, director at Bognor Regis, cited ‘health and safety reasons’, saying: ‘The point of our dodgems is to dodge people, not to run into people.’

Other baffling bans on the list included councils stopping Royal Wedding street parties and carnivals being told not to have fancy dress parades.

Schools in Oxfordshire stopped pupils using playground monkey bars unsupervised while a school in Merseyside banned leather footballs. Malvern Primary School allowed children to play football only if they were made of sponge.

East Riding Council said it would fine kite-flyers up to £500 on a series of beaches including Bridlington and Hornsea. In June, Colchester Council told Charlotte Cubitt, 85, staff could not take her TV to be recycled as they might hurt themselves.


Enlarge


Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2029404/Health-safety-bans-end-Chris-Graylings-10-barmy-diktats.html#ixzz2OjjiJHX5
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Re: Triangular-shaped flapjacks can hurt you more than square-shaped flapjacks

Post by annemab on 27.03.13 11:25

The fantastic puns atrributed to the HSE representative in the article ("half-baked"; "takes the biscuit") made me wonder if this article was intended for April 1st and was published a bit too soon?!
Throwing flapjacks is really not on though, I have to agree!

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